Over the Rainbow
by tohru-chan62442
Summary: When Doe is transported from Kansas to the magical land of Oz, she embarks on the adventure of her life. How will she get back home to her brother Kirk? And will she make new friends along the yellow brick road?
1. Prologue slash Backstory

**ANOTHER STORY?!? I KNOW RIGHT. This is the downside of having an ADD brain. You start on one story, then:**

**Brain: Hey, what about this idea for a story?**

**Me: NO! I've already got two stories to do! Start thinking of ideas for those!**

**Brain: But this is a really good one! Please?!?!**

**Me: I said NO!!**

**Brain: (like Bloo) Come !!!**

**Me: Alright, alright! **

**I'm not crazy (twitch) Anyway, this is essentially MY version of the Wizard of Oz. Definitely different, but I'll be using songs and lines from the movie here and there, and the Oz here is the same Oz as in the movie. But that won't come for a while. For now, please enjoy backstory, exposition, and way more angst than I'm used to writing!**

Well, I guess I should start from the_ very_ beginning. Y'know, _before_ everything turned wrong. But before that I should introduce myself.

Hi. I'm Dorothy to my teachers, DoDo to my brother, and just plain Doe everywhere else in the world.

I've always hated my name. Dorothy. Sounds like one of those old ladies who gossips about other old ladies. That's why, early on, I requested to be called Doe. I added the e so people would pronounce it right, instead of saying "doo". As soon as I made this announcement to my family...

Wait. Let me tell you about my family first. At least what it used to be.

My parents were pretty average, I guess. They both worked (and were pretty high up in) different companies, so money was never an issue. My mom would often get stressed and irritable, but my dad was always there to lighten the mood.

He was funny in his own weird way, my dad. For example, he "moo"d when he sneezed and "ribbet"d when he burped. Really. He said he started doing it when we were little to make us laugh, and it just became a habit. He hated seeing anybody sad, and we would occasionally give him a pity laugh when he told the same joke for the millionth time.

Speaking of "we", let's talk about Kirk. He was two years older than me, so needless to say, I worshipped him. He was too cool around his friends, but always knew how to make me smile, although few understood our jokes.

To the untrained eye, it would appear we didn't like each other. Sometimes Kirk would completely stop what he was doing just to look over at me and say,

"DoDo, I hate you."

And every night, I'd wish him a good night, to which he'd respond, "Have a terrible evening."

But I understood. Kirk's not good with mushy stuff, and neither am I. We know we've got each other's backs without having to say a word.

So that's my family. Or should I say 'was'.

On my 9th birthday, a big burly police man appeared at our door. I hid behind Kirk, still wearing my 'Birthday Girl' sash from breakfast. The police officer quietly said some things to Mom, and Kirk must have heard, because I felt him suddenly stiffen.

I saw Mom grab the banister of the stairs and start shaking with audible sobs, and Kirk quickly pushed me away from the door. I screamed at him to tell me what was wrong, and I still remember exactly what he said.

"Dad's gone, Dorothy."

The room spun and my ears roared and all I could do was grab Kirk, my lifeline, and cry and cry and cry.

I barely remember the funeral-it's all a blur. Then again, everything's blurry through tear-filled eyes.

There was no one to cheer my mom up anymore. She started drinking again, but it only made her worse. She'd get angry-so angry. She hit Kirk and yelled horrible things at me. Kirk would defend me and she'd hit him some more.

But we never blamed our mom. We knew she wasn't in her right mind. We just held onto each other through it all.

And one day Mom left the house and never came back.

Later we were told she jumped off a scaffold of a nearby construction site. I didn't care. All I knew was that I was an orphan, Kirk was all I had left, and a 12 year old girl has a lot more tears stored in her little body than you would think.

So Kirk and I were shuffled from relative to relative. During that time, I didn't talk to anyone except Kirk. All my messages for other people were relayed through him. It annoyed many people, especially teachers, to no end, but I didn't care. I didn't feel anyone else was worth talking to. They just wouldn't understand-these perfectly pampered girls and 'tough' boys, with their fancy cars, complaining about homework and school dances and their annoying parents. They don't realize how lucky they are.

But Kirk knew. We were each others' best friends-we talked about anything and everything, we cried, and we even managed to laugh.

But none of these places felt like home. It was clear we were more of a burden than anything to these people. They wouldn't care if we jumped off a bridge.

Which was exactly Kirk's reasoning when he woke me up at 4 in the morning on his birthday.

"We're gettin' outta here."

"Nnn-what?" I groaned, still half-asleep.

"We're leaving. Pack your stuff." When I still didn't wake up, he pulled a big chunk of my hair. Hard.

He muffled my screams of pain and death threats with a pillow. "Geez, ya want to wake Aunt Velma?"

"Aunt Velma wouldn't hear a jet engine take off next to her face," I retorted. I glanced at the glaring red digital clock that read 4:13. "Jesus, Kirk, why'd you wake me up at this ungodly hour?"

"It's like talking to a wall," I heard Kirk mumble. He then got right in my face. "We're. Lea. Ving. Right. Now." He said this slowly, as if I were deaf.

"I got that part, thank you," I promptly shoved him out of my personal bubble. "What I meant was, why?"

"You like it here? You like that fat cat that scratches you ever day?"

I winced at the thought of Snowball. "I MEANT," I was starting to feel exasperated. "Why today of all days?"

"I'm eighteen. I don't legally need a guardian anymore. So we're gone."

"Well, isn't that nice?" I went back onto familiar ground with Kirk and I-sarcasm. "And where exactly are we going to go, Mr. Genius? We don't have a car, we don't have anywhere to go-what, are we gonna sleep in the park?"

"Don't be stupid," Kirk was packing my things for me since I wasn't making any move to. "I got an apartment."

This was news. Kirk wasn't exactly the planning type, so this was a shock, to say the least. "What?!" I sputtered."You got a-when?!"

"I've been hunting every day after school. It's not much, but it's big enough for us, and it's pretty cheap rent."

I was dumbfounded. "We're really leaving?" I asked, feeling hope rise up in me for the first time in a while.

"Good god, how many times do I have to say it before you get it through your thick little head?" He punctuated these last three words with finger jabs at my forehead.

"Don't touch me, you creep!" I pushed him off, laughing (another first).

"Better a creep than a DoDo!" Kirk laughed with me.

The apartment was small, but it was heaven to me and Kirk. He worked a few odd jobs to pay the rent. I offered to get a job too, but he'd have none of it.

"You've got school. You're goin' to college if I have to drag you there myself."

I still didn't like school, but at least I talked when needed. I also found activities around school.

One thing I liked was listening in on the chorus. I'd nab a piece of their sheet music and learn it by heart. I'd always loved singing, but didn't like singing in front of people. Still, it was nice to have new songs to hum walking down the hallway.

I'm sure humming while walking to class didn't help the rumor going around that I was crazy. Many people avoided me, and I was never in any group when groups were required for a class. But I preferred it that way-I was still fairly anti-social.

One day, while I was walking home, singing the song of the week to myself, I heard someone singing along with me.

Or, should I say, barking.

He was a little brown and black puppy-a mutt. But I thought he was the cutest, smartest dog I had ever seen. After much begging from both the dog and me, Kirk agreed to keep it, on the condition that he pick the name. He decided on Brutus. I asked him why he would give such a tiny dog (I could fit him into the crook of my arm) such a tough name.

"Exactly!" explained my brother. "He's a guy, but tiny and cute. Poor guy's probably got an inferiority complex. I thought a tough name would help him out."

I didn't exactly follow, but it was nice to see he cared.

And so Kirk and I were cautiously optimistic about our future. We still had our demons, but we were finally on our own. Nothing would tear us apart.

....Right?

**5 pages…Goddamn, I really am inspired! It definitely has nothing to do with the fact that I'm in my school's production of Wizard of Oz. Nope, nothing at all. Reviews are love! 3**


	2. It's A Twister! It's A Twister!

**So here's the next chapter! Thanks to JaredMilne1982 for reviewing! I like breaking moulds. Actually, I like breaking everything. Especially with Mr. Sledgehammer! *gets out Mr. Sledgehammer and smashes wall* Yaaay! **

***clears throat* Anyway, enjoy!**

_Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!!!!! _

I jumped a little in my seat. I had been doodling in my notebook during Mr. Baum's lecture on literature. The time went by quicker than I thought.

People were already walking out the door, gabbing happily about their weekend plans. I grabbed my backpack and started out the door.

The hallways were always so loud.

"I have to write an essay for World Lit. Ugh!"

"You coming tonight?"

"Yeah, it's gonna be crazy!!"

I snorted a little at this. 'Oh yeah, we have crazy times here in Kansas,' I thought sarcastically.

I pushed the door open lazily with my back and looked up at the sky. It was turning dark with menacing clouds.

'Great, nothing like a walk home in the rain,' I thought, sighing.

At least I wouldn't be walking home alone.

As if on cue, Brutus ran up to me from his spot under the bleachers, yipping happily and jumping excitedly.

I smiled. Ever since the day we got him, Brutus followed me everywhere, even to school.

At first I tried to ask if he could stay in my backpack or something, but the principal wouldn't hear of it.

So I found him a little spot under the bleachers outside. It was cool, shaded from the rain, and since people ate lunch out there, Brutus even got snacks. Every day he'd wait there until I left, then we'd walk home together.

"Come on, Bru," I jerked my head, which was his signal that we were leaving. I don't know what it was, but Brutus and I always understood each other perfectly. Even Kirk was baffled by it. But whatever it was, we always knew exactly what the other was saying, despite the language barrier.

I hummed as I walked, a song chorus was learning right now called "Once Upon a December". I loved the song-it was quiet, eerie, yet beautiful. Every so often Brutus would attempt to bark along and I'd laugh.

After a minute, I looked at the sky. The clouds were now darker and appeared to be swirling, slowly.

"Ya think it's gonna storm, Brutus?"

His only response was to growl slightly.

"Yeah, I hope not either." I ruffled the fur on his head.

Suddenly, the wind started howling. Brutus whimpered and I quickly snatched him up. I looked around to see what had caused it.

My eyes met the biggest tornado I had ever seen.

Now, don't get me wrong. I live in Kansas, after all. Tornados are pretty common. I can't tell you how many times Kirk and I went into the closet of our apartment while a tornado went through.

But this one...it was a monster.

And it was headed right for us.

I looked frantically for some form of shelter. This was hard, since we were in the middle of a field.

But I spotted a barn a few yards away.

I dropped my backpack (nothing important in there), held on to Brutus with both hands and sprinted towards it. He was yelping and barking the whole time, and I tried to ignore it. The wind was getting stronger, and my dark brown, shoulder length hair was getting in my face and making it hard for me to see. But I kept running.

After what seemed like forever, we made it to the barn. I shut the doors with some difficulty, and the iron bar slid down in front of the doors.

I hoped it would hold.

I looked around the barn. No animals, just a lot of hay. I sat down on the biggest lump and released a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

"You okay, buddy?" I looked at Brutus, who was still shaking.

"Aw, it's okay," I hugged him tight. "We made it. We're safe."

I took out a hair tie from my wrist and tied my hair up in a ponytail, a habit I have when I'm planning.

I risked a look out the window, and could see nothing but leaves and debris flying everywhere.

Brutus was now walking around, taking note of his new environment.

"We'll just have to wait it out here," I said to myself.

All of a sudden, over the roaring of the wind, I heard a crack.

Brutus stopped walking and whimpered.

A second crack.

Brutus yelped and ran over to me, cowering behind my leg.

I scooped him up. "What in God's name was that?"

I didn't have time to think about it, because there was a third crack, and then the barn was tipping.

I hugged Brutus to me as we fell on the hay.

"Oh, shit," I said aloud. Now I understood. The house was being pulled up by the wind. Three of the corners of the barn were already free. And the fourth-

CRACK.

The whole barn started to jerk and spin as it was hoisted into the air. Brutus was barking and barking, mostly out of fear, but partly because I was holding him so tight.

But I wasn't letting him go for anything. I was being knocked around the barn, but if I used one hand to grab something, Brutus might fly away. One of the doors was open now, and it was only sheer luck that kept me from flying out the door.

I was flung all over the place like a rag doll for what seemed like hours, clutching poor little Brutus the whole time.

All of a sudden, there was a jerk and a crash as we landed. I was flung in the air for a moment before landing right on my rear end.

I hissed in pain, biting back curse words. Brutus pawed at my face, whimpering questioningly.

"I'm fine. It's over now, we're okay."

Brutus jumped from my arms and sniffed the air suspiciously. When he realized I was telling the truth, he ran back to me and licked my face repeatedly.

"Ok, ok!" I laughed and gently pushed him off me. "Enough with the spit bath."

Brutus barked happily and started for the door.

"Wait!" He obeyed, but looked at me questioningly.

"We don't know where we are. We need to be careful."

I went to the door and poked my head out.

What I saw was the strangest, most peculiar, and most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

**Where could they possibly be?!? Who knows?!? Lol sarcasm. I'm thinking of maybe changing the title of the story-it's kinda blah, doncha think? Anyway, please keep reading and if you read, please please PLEASE review-I love feedback almost as much as I love chocolate! Mmmm, chocolate… :P**


	3. Munchkinland

**Hiya! This is chapter three. Thank you to my reviewers (all 2 of you XD) and those who story alert'd or whatever. But remember-reviews are my favorite! **

**Let me warn you right now: Long chapter is looooooong. I really wanted to get this whole scene out of the way, since it's mostly exposition (a writer's worst nightmare-2 exposition chapters in one story!). So I put it all in one chapter. Hope you've got some time on your hands, and enjoy.**

"What. The hell." This was just too weird.

The barn had landed in the middle of what appeared to be a town, albiet a weird one. The houses were just the right size for Brutus, but appeared to be for people. Weirder still, there was no one in sight. What there were a lot of were flowers. I'd never seen so many, and in such vibrant colors.

Speaking of vibrant, the ground I was standing on caught my eye immediatly. It was a bright yellow, and made of brick. I'd never seen yellow bricks before, and questioned why someone would make an entire road out of them.

Needless to say, I was stunned silent by all this. Even Brutus was barkless.

Finally, I managed to say,

"Brutus?"

He merely sniffed, still taking it in.

"I don't know about you...but I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

At this, he just turned and looked me dead in the eye, as if to say, "Ya think?"

"I don't even think we're on the same planet," I commented as I began to walk around the little town. "Hello? Anybody home?" I called out, hoping somebody would answer. I already had a list full of questions.

Brutus barked and I turned around, hoping we had finally found someone.

He was barking at a bubble.

I couldn't help but laugh as I walked over and picked him up. "Relax, ya goof. That bubble's not gonna hurt yo-"

I stopped mid-word. I had just noticed the bubble was getting bigger. And was headed straight towards us.

I quickly backed away from it. I didn't know what was gonna happen-this world was new to me. Hell, the bubble could have caused a nuclear explosion, for all I knew!

But instead, the bubble just disappeared, and in its place was a strange-looking woman.

She had vibrant red, curly hair, but her face seemed old somehow-wise. She wore so much pink and glitter it made me squint, from her gigantic silver crown to the full skirt of her glittery, pastel pink dress. In her hands she carried a thin wand.

I stared for a minute or two, before muttering, "Now I KNOW we're not on Earth."

If the woman heard this statement, she didn't show it. She merely smiled at me.  
I was about to ask who she was, where I was, how I was supposed to get back to MY planet, when she beat me to it with a question of her own.

"Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"

Well, THAT sure threw me for a loop. "I'm not a witch!" I raised my voice probably a little more than I should have. But she called me a witch!

"Oh!" The woman seemed surprised and a tad confused. "Well..." She thought for a moment, before her eyes landed on Brutus. "Is that the witch?"

I laughed at this. "Brutus isn't a witch, he's a dog! And a guy!"

"Oh," Now she truly looked confused. "Well, I'm a little muddled."

' "Muddled"?' I thought, but let her continue.

"You see, the Munchkins called me here because a new witch has just dropped a house on the Wicked Witch of the East. And here's the house," She gestured towards the barn.

"And here you are," She gestured towards me.

"And that's all that's left of the Wicked Witch of the East."

At this, she gestured once again towards the house, but this time I saw something I'd never noticed before.

Two feet sticking out from under the barn.

"HOLY SHIT!!!" I screamed, running towards the barn. "Hang in there, I'll get this off of you somehow!"

"It's too late, child," The woman was serene as ever. "She's dead."

I sat in shock. 'I killed someone.' The thought wouldn't leave. I knew it was an accident-

But, then again, so was that drunk driving accident that killed my dad.

And I still hadn't forgiven that guy.

The woman spoke up again, pulling me out of my soliloquy.

"So, what the Munchkins want to know is, are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"

"I already told you, I'm not a witch! I'm Dorothy Gale, from Kansas, USA, Planet Earth!" I was getting exasperated with this glittery woman. "I can't be a witch because witches are old and ugly!!"

Suddenly, I heard tiny giggles all around me. I froze stiff and Brutus growled. They stopped as quickly as they started.

"What was that?" I asked, looking around.

"The Munchkins." Still calm. Did ANYTHING get a reaction out of this woman?! "They are laughing because, I am a witch. I am Glinda, the Witch of the North"

Yikes. Awkward. "Oh," was all I managed before I started rambling. "Well, I didn't mean you're old and ugly, cause you're not! I mean, I didn't even know you were a witch, and I've never heard of pretty witches, kinda seems like an oxymoron, really-"

Glinda's laughing shut me up. "Only bad witches are ugly."

I heard more giggling, and spun around to find the source, but again saw nothing.

"That was the Munchkins," Glinda explained. "They are happy because you have freed them from the Wicked Witch of the East."

"Are they invisible or something?"

More laughter. Whatever these Munchkins were, they were starting to piss me off.

"The Munchkins are the little people who live in this land-it's Munchkinland, and you are their national heroine, my dear. You cannot see them because they are hiding. It's all right," At this she turned and adressed the whole area. "You may all come out and thank her."

Then she started singing. So this was a musical world too? I started to wonder how hard I'd hit my head back there.

"_Come out, come out, wherever you are_

_And meet the young lady who fell from a star!_"

A star? I was about to question this, when I noticed movement.

All the flowers I saw were rising, and little eyes were peeking out from under them. Tiny little people were coming out from every nook and cranny of the town. I had to supress a scream.

But Mother Serenity Glinda was still unfazed, and continued to sing.

"_She fell from the sky _

_She fell very far_

_And Kansas, she says, is the name of her star!_"

"_Kansas, she says, is the name of her star,_" the little Munchkins echoed.

I held growling Brutus tighter as the Munchkins began to circle around me. Glinda came into the little circle.

"_She brings you good news _

_Or haven't you heard? _

_When she fell out of Kansas _

_A miracle occurred!_"

The music-from-nowhere got faster, and Glinda was looking at me expectantly, as were all the Munchkins. Was I supposed to sing? I decided to just explain what happened.

"_It really was no miracle, what happened was just this:_

_The wind began to switch  
_

_The house to pitch _

_And suddenly the hinges started to unhitch_"

This was so weird. Words were just flowing out of me, and they were rhyming too. Weirder still, I was singing, even though I had no intention of it. I tried to stop myself a few times, but it didn't work- my mouth would just open again on its own and keep singing. 'This world is so freaky,' I thought as I sang against my will.

Thankfully, Glinda took over.

"_Just then, the witch _

_To satisfy an itch _

_Went flying on her broomstick _

_Thumbing for a hitch_."

"_And_ _oooh, what happened then was rich!_" One of the Munchkins spoke up.

Then they all began to sing-gossip with each other.

"_The house began to pitch _

_The kitchen took a slitch _

_It landed on the Wicked Witch _

_In the middle of a ditch _

_WHICH was not a healthy SIT-uation for a Wicked Witch!_"

I tried to explain that it wasn't my house and didn't even have a kitchen to slitch, (what does that word even mean?) but now they were dancing with each other, still singing of course.

"_The house began to pitch_

_The kitchen took a slitch _

_It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch_

_WHICH was not a healthy SIT-uation for the Wicked Witch _

_Who began to twitch _

_And was reduced _

_To just a stitch _

_Of what was once the Wicked Witch!_"

Man, this woman must have been a real witch, in both senses of the word, for these little people to be so happy about her death.

Suddenly, a male Munchkin stepped up and looked right at me. I backed up a little.

"_We thank you very sweetly _

_For doing it so neatly._"

Another Munchkin, female this time, walked up to me.

"_You've killed her so completely _

_That we thank you, very sweetly._"

On the last word, she handed me a pretty pink flower. I smiled and took it, but as soon as the woman-Munchkin had turned her back, Brutus had eaten the flower.

I sighed. Poor guy was probably hungry.

Glinda was speaking now.

"Let the joyous news be spread

The wicked old witch, at last, is dead!"

The Munchkins all cheered and led me to a rather large carriage. It drove around the tiny city, and Munchkins would sometimes stop to shake my hand in the middle of singing and dancing in joy.

"_Ding dong, the witch is dead! _

_Which old witch? _

_The Wicked Witch! _

_Ding dong, the Wicked Witch is dead! _

_Wake up, you sleepyheads! _

_Rub your eyes, get out of bed! _

_Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead! _

_She's gone where the goblins go _

_Below! Below, below _

_Yo ho! Let's open up and sing _

_And ring the bells out! _

_Ding dong, the merry-oh _

_Sing it high! _

_Sing it low! _

_Let them know the Wicked Witch is dead!!_"

Suddenly, the carriage stopped, and some Munchkins led me out.

Out of the biggest house in the city (which was still pretty small) a large, jolly looking man with a handlebar mustache and a fancy green suit stepped out. I guessed he was the mayor or something. With him was a slimmer man dressed in a purple suit complete with purple top hat. He had a mustache as well, but looked quite grumpy.

The jolly man adressed me.

"_As Mayor of the Munchkin City..._"

I was right.

"_In the county of the land of Oz..._"

Oz? Is that where I was? Now I was sure I wasn't on Earth. How in the hell was I supposed to get home?!

"_I welcome you most regally-_"

Purple Man interrupted,

"_But we've got to verify it legally! _

_To see..._"

"_To see?_" Repeated the Mayor, confused.

"_If she..._"

"_If she?_" 'She'? Were they talking about me?

"_Is morally, ethically-_"

"_Spiritually, physically-_" One man interuppted.

"_Positively, absolutely-_" Another man joined in.

Was I going to have to go through some test?

By now they were all singing.

"_Un-de-niably, and re-liably DEAD!_"

Wait, what? They were going to TEST if the Witch was dead? I looked over at Glinda to get her take on this.

She was just smiling like, "Aren't they cute?"

The sooner I got out of here, the sooner I could get my sanity back.

An official looking man in a blue robe with matching fedora walked up holding a scroll that read, 'Certificate of Death'.

Oh dear Jesus.

"_As coroner, I must afer _

_I've thouroghly examined her _

_And she's not only merely dead _

_She's really most sincerely dead!_"

How can someone be merely dead?! I was getting a headache.

The Mayor was speaking-actually speaking, not singing. This was a breath of fresh air.

"Then this is a day of independence, for all the Munchkins, and their descendants!"

"If any!" Purple Guy added. I gave him a weird look. Was that really neccesary?

The Mayor spoke again.

"Let the joyous news be spread

The wicked old witch at last is dead!"

The Munchkins cheered and the "Ding dong" song started all over again. I was about ready to tear my hair out. Would it never end?!

"_Ding dong, the witch is dead! _

_Which old witch?_

_The Wicked Witch! _

_Ding dong, the Wicked Witch is dead! _

_Wake up, you sleepyheads! _

_Rub your eyes, get out of bed! _

_Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead! _

_She's gone where the goblins go _

_Below! Below, below_

_Yo ho! Let's open up and sing _

_And ring the bells out! _

_Ding dong, the merry-oh _

_Sing it high! _

_Sing it low! _

_Let them know the Wicked Witch is dead!!_"

After the song, trumpets played the tune, and I was directed to the slightly raised platform in the center of town, with the munchkins circled all around me. Three little girls in funny hats and tutus walked in front of me. They were actually kind of cute.

They began to dance and sing in their tiny, high-pitched voices.

"_We represent the Lullaby League _

_The Lullaby League _

_The Lullaby League _

_And in the name of the Lullaby Leeeeeeague _

_We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland!_"

They curtsied at the end of their song and blew kisses at me as they left. I hesitantly blew one back and waved.

They were being replaced by three boys, all keeping their mouthes on one side of their face. I stifled a laugh.

They began to sing too, although it wasn't nearly as pleasing on the ears as the Lullaby League.

"_We represent the Lollipop Guild _

_The Lollipop Guild _

_The Lollipop Guild _

_And in the name of the Lollipop Guuuuuild _

_We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland!_"

They offered me a gigantic lollipop, which I took and thanked them for. I unwrapped it and let Brutus lick it as all the Munchkins gathered around me.

"_We welcome you to Munchkinland _

_Tra-LA la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la!_"

A pause. I thought maybe they were finally done-

"_TRA-la-la-la-la, la laaaa!!_"

They all bowed and curtsied to me on the last "la". I couldn't help but smile. These Munchkins were actually very cute, once I got past the initial culture shock.

I felt a tug on the bottom of my blue tank top, and found the Mayor beaming up at me.

"_From now on, you'll be history!_"

"_You'll be hist-_"

"_You'll be hist-_" The two men from before interrupted the Mayor, but he didn't really seem to mind.

"_You'll be history!_" He repeated.

Then all the Munchkins chimed in.

"_And we will glorify your naaaame!_"

"_You will be a bust-_" The Mayor started, but was interrupted by those two men again. I wondered if interrupting was actually their job in the town. It wouldn't shock me-they already had a guy whose job was to verify that squished people were dead.

"_Be a bust-_"

"_Be a bust-_"

"_In the Hall of Fame!_" All the Munchkins sang.

I laughed nervously and rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly. I didn't like being the center of attention in the first place, but to be honored like this for KILLING someone? It was just weird.

'I guess that's the way to define Oz,' I thought. 'Weird. Might as well get used to it."

So I just watched as the Munchkins danced around singing nonsense words.

"_Tra-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, _

_Tra-la-la-la-la, la laaa!! _

_Tra-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, _

_Tra-la-la-la-la, la laaa!! _

_Tra-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la _

_Tra-la-la-la-la LAAAAAAAA-_"

**BOOM!!! **

I almost fell over backwards from shock. It looked like someone had dropped an explosive smoke bomb right in the middle of Munchkinland. The Munchkins had all hidden or were cowering on the ground.

They were cowering from a woman, dressed all in black, with a black pointy hat atop her head. Her skin was bright green, and she carried a broomstick.

Now this was the kind of witch I was used to.

'How the hell did she get out from under the barn?! That thing must weigh a ton, at least!'

I leaned over to Glinda and whispered angrily, "You said she was dead!"

Still. Calm. I wanted to slap her, just to see if she'd be shocked at all.

"That was her sister, the Wicked Witch of the East. This is the Wicked Witch of the West. She's worse than the other one was."

Great. Out of the frying pan and into the freakin' wildfire.

Suddenly, the witch turned around, staring down all the cowering Munchkins.

"Who killed my sister?!" Her voice was raspy and very creepy. "Who killed the Witch of the East?!"

She then spotted me, and I jumped a little at the slightly crazed look in her eyes

.  
"Was it you?!?!" She practically screamed as she got right in my face.

I tried to back away, but just ended up running into Glinda with my backside.

"I-Well, I didn't," I tried to explain. "Th-The barn did. I did happen to be IN it, but it's not like I could steer it-"

"Didn't mean to, eh?" She cut me off. "Accident, eh?" For one shining moment I thought she understood, and I was off the hook.

But then she got closer than ever, close enough so I could see the evil look in her eyes. "Well, my pretty, I can cause accidents too!!!"

"Aren't you forgetting the ruby slippers?" So even the impending danger being put on my life wasn't enough for a little emotion from Glinda? And what was she talking about, ruby slippers?

But this seemed to distract Ms. Asparagus, and that was totally fine by me.

"Ah, yes!! The slippers!" She made her way towards the house , muttering the word "slippers" all the way.

Geez, is everyone in this world freakin' insane?

Suddenly, the Witch screamed bloody murder, making me cover my ears and Brutus whimper.

"They're gone!" She turned back to me, and my stomach jolted before I realized her rage was aimed at Glinda.

"What have you done with them?! Give them back to me, or I'll-"

"It's too late," Glinda calmly interuppted. "There they are, and there they'll stay."

She was pointing down, so I looked in that direction to see if she'd hidden them underground or something.

They were on my feet.

"What-?" I started sputtering, my head swivelling back and forth, from Glinda to the shoes. "Why did-how did-I don't want 'em!!"

It was around this time the Witch decided to interrupt, and break my eardrums.

"Give me back my slippers!!" She screeched. "I'm the only one who knows how to use them! They're of no use to you! Give them back to me, GIVE THEM BACK!!"

"Here, take, 'em! Don't throw a fit!" I lifted my foot up behind me to take the shoes off, but Glinda put a hand on my shoulder.

"Kerp tight inside of them," She sounded serious, yet still calm, of course. "Their magic must be very powerful, or she wouldn't want them so badly."

So the shoes were magic now? I looked down at them. Aside from being overly sparkly, they looked like any old shoes to me.

"You stay out of this, Glinda, or I'll fix you as well!" The Witch was saying.

Glinda laughed a melodious laugh. "Oh, nonsense, you have no power here! Now begone, before someone drops a house on YOU."

The Witch suddenly looked up, scanning the sky. I glanced up too. Were falling houses a common occurrence here?

"Very well," She said when the coast was clear. "I'll bide my time. And as for you, my fine lady!"

She turned back to me, and I backed away a little.

"It's true I can't attend to you here and now as I'd like," She threatened me. "But after a suitable period of mourning for my sister, I'll have my revenge. So just try to stay out of my way. Just try! I'll get you my pretty...and your little dog, too!!"

At this, Brutus whimpered and shook, and I held him tight, staring the Witch down.

'Threatening Brutus? Oh, it's on now!'

But I couldn't stare her down for long. She was already running away, cackling loudly.

Then, with another explosion and burst of smoke, she was gone.

"It's all right," Glinda was saying to the Munchkins. "You can get up, she's gone!"

I was still angrily glaring at the spot where the Witch had disappeared.

"I'm afraid you've made a powerful enemy of the Wicked Witch of the West." Glinda said to me.

"Fantastic," I muttered under my breath.

"The sooner you get out of Oz altogether, the safer you'll sleep, my dear." She put a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. Was this really a time for smiling?

"Well, I'm all for gettin' the heck outta here and back home-but how am I supposed to do that? I can't very well go back the way I came."

'And I don't really want to,' I thought. My derriere was still sore.

"No, I suppose not," Glinda pondered for a moment. "The only person who might know would be the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz himself."

Many of the Munchkins "ooo"d and "aah"d, and some even bowed their heads.

"The Wizard of Oz?" This place has witches AND wizards?! "Is he a good wizard or a bad wizard?"

"Oh, very good, but very mysterious," Glinda assured me. "He lives in the Emerald City, and that's a long journey from here. Did you bring your broomstick with you?"

I gave her a look. 'Is she for real right now?'

"Uh, no, just plum forgot it today." My brother always said sarcasm was the mind's defense against stupid.

I had a feeling I'd be using it a lot here.

Glinda didn't pick up on it, however.

"Well then, you'll have to walk," Glinda led me more toward the strange road of brick. "The Munchkins will lead you to the border of Munchkinland."

'Cause God forbid I get lost three feet over there' I thought, but said nothing.

"And remember," said Glinda, "never let those slippers off your feet for a moment, or you will be at the mercy of the Wicked Witch of the West."

What was up with these shoes?

"Thanks for the advice, Glinda, but I don't suppose you could give me a map to this Emerald City?" I asked.

"Well, it's always best to start at the beginning," She led me to where the road spiraled in the center. "And all you have to do is follow the Yellow Brick Road." She began to walk away.

"Wait a minute!" I urged. "What if-?"

"Just follow the Yellow Brick Road," She repeated.

And with that, she dissappeared with a soft 'pop'.

I stared for a second. "Are all the witches show-offs about their entrances and exits?" I said, more to myself than anyone.

I looked down. "Follow the Yellow Brick road?"

I started to walk around the spiral, until I got to the road itself. I could hear faint music.

Oh no.

"Follow the Yellow Brick Road!" The mayor said to me. More Munchkins followed his example, establishing a beat. Here we go.

"Follow the Yellow Brick Road!"

"Follow the Yellow Brick Road!"

"Follow the Yellow Brick Road!"

Then they all started to sing.

"_Follow the Yellow Brick Road_

_Follow the Yellow Brick Road_

_Follow the, follow the, follow the, follow the_

_Follow the Yellow Brick Road!_"

I couldn't help it-these guys were adorable, and the song was pretty catchy.. I smiled in spite of myself and even began to sashay down the road to the beat.

"_You're off to see the Wizard! _

_The Wonderful Wizard of Oz! _

_You'll find he is a whiz of a wiz _

_If ever a wiz there was! _

_If ever, oh ever a wiz there was _

_The Wizard of Oz is one because, _

_Because, because, because, because, becaaaaaaaause _

_Because of the wonderful things he does!_"

I noticed they weren't as loud, and when I turned around, they were all gathered a few feet away from me, waving goodbye.

I hadn't realized I'd reached the border. I waved goodbye back, hoping I'd see them again.

What can I say? They grew on me.

I turned around and boldly walked onward wherever this Yellow Brick Road would take me as I heard the Munchkins sing the final few lines.

"_You're off to see the Wizard _

_The Wonderful Wizard of Oooooz!_"

**16 pages…*groans and flops down on imaginary bed* I've never even written anything for SCHOOL that was 16 pages! Well, the next chapter should be less grueling, and hopefully a bit more interesting (can you tell I don't like Munchkinland?). And-is there an echo in here?- REVIEW!!!!!1!!!eleven**


	4. Scarecrows Don't Talk

**Hey, y'all! *waves like a spaz* I'm glad you guys liked Dorothy's reactions-one of the main reasons I wrote this is because, while I was watching the movie, I thought to myself, "Ok, maybe this really is how a girl in the 1930's would react to this stuff, but it sure as hell isn't how a 21****st**** century girl would. I would've said this…" or "I would've done that…" I'm really trying to make this story believable-well, as believable as a fantasy story can be ;) Anyway, now we meet Scarecrow! *thunderous applause* Enjoy the next chapter!**

"Man, Glinda wasn't kidding," I said as I walked, and Brutus lazily barked in agreement.

We'd been walking for a good while now. At first, the walk was at least interesting-there were strange animals and strange trees right outside Munchkinland. One tree was bright white and reflected everything around it, and I'd laughed and used it to fix my ponytail and check that my outfit (a deep blue tank top and jean capris) hadn't been stained by that Witch's green hands.

But now it was boring. The trees looked normal around here, and there was even a cornfield up ahead with a scarecrow.

If not for the Yellow Brick Road and my new shoes, I'd think I was back in Kansas.

Speaking of the road, at the fence right in front of the scarecrow, the road forked.

"Follow the Yellow Brick..." I looked at the two roads, seeing if maybe one was a slightly different shade than the other.

But, unfortunately, both roads were the exact same shade of yellow.

"Oh, great," I muttered. "Great directions, Glinda!" I yelled behind me in frustration, even though I knew she couldn't hear me.

I looked down the two roads. "Now which way do we go?" I asked myself.

"Pardon me, but that way is a very nice way."

My head shot up and I looked all around. "Who said that? Where are you?"

Brutus was barking urgently. I looked down at him to see him pointing with his nose at the scarecrow and barking furiously.

"Don't be silly, Brutus," I bent down to scratch his ears. "Even in this crazy world, scarecrows don't tal-"

"It's pleasant down that way, too."

I looked around for the voice again, but all I saw was the scarecrow.

Then I noticed two things. One, this scarecrow looked more human than any I'd ever seen. He had what looked to be real eyes, a real nose, real lips-the whole shebang.

And two-he was pointing the opposite way.

"Wait a minute," I said slowly. I looked at Brutus. "Wasn't he pointing the other way before?"

Brutus barked in agreement with me.

"Of course, people do go both ways."

This time I looked automatically at the scarecrow, so I caught him criss-crossing his arms to point both ways.

I stood up and got closer to him. "Hey, you did say all that, didn't you?!"

The scarecrow shook his head immediately. Then he nodded. Then he shook his head. Then he nodded.

This went on for a while, before I burst out, "Are you trying to confuse me, or can't you make up your mind?!"

"Well, that's the problem," The scarecrow finally addressed me directly and dropped his arms. "I don't have a mind to make up. I haven't got a brain. Only straw," He indicated a few straws poking out of his head like hair.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I apologized, hoping I hadn't offended him. Then I realized something.

"Wait, how can you talk if you don't have a brain? Huh?" This guy might be trying to pull a fast one on me.

"Hmm, I'm not sure," He said. "But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?" He smiled.

I laughed in earnest at that. "Very true, Mr. Scarecrow. Oh so very true."

"Please, just call me Scarecrow," He bowed as best he could on his pole.

I chuckled and curtsied. "And I'm Doe."

"Doe?" Scarecrow questioned.

"Well, it's short for Dorothy, but I don't really-"

"Dorothy. What a pretty name," Scarecrow commented casually.

I looked at him, shocked, for a moment, then laughed nervously and pretended to be very interested in the ground.

Nobody had ever said they'd liked my name, except my parents. Kids at school and even my brother often said that my name sucked and was an old lady name.

Maybe he was just being nice.

Maybe it was just that he was pronouncing it differently-he said it like, "Do-ruh-thee".

Either way, I was very flattered, but also very embarrassed.

"Um," I desperately tried to change the subject. "Uh, how are you today?"

Not the most brilliant subject change ever, but it worked.

"I'm not very well at all, actually," said Scarecrow. "It's pretty boring being stuck up here all day with a pole up your back."

"Oh, wow, that DOES have to suck," I commented. "You can't get down?"

"Unfortunately, no. I'm nailed up here," He pointed behind him.

"Oh, I'll get that," I climbed over the fence and behind Scarecrow.

"Wow, thank you!" He said happily. "That's very kind of you."

I tried twisting the nail. When that didn't work, I pulled it with all my might. I even put one foot on the pole and pulled for more resistance, but the nail still wouldn't budge.

"God, this thing's nailed in good!" I said, panting with my hands on my knees.

"Well, I'm not bright about doing things, obviously," Scarecrow interjected. "But if you can bend the nail up, maybe I'll slip off."

"Oh!" I hadn't thought of that. "Good idea, Scarecrow!" I smiled up at him, then went back to the nail and bent it upward.

Maybe it was because of all the pulling and twisting I did, but bending the nail took almost nothing, and Scarecrow immediately fell off, landing face-down.

"Omigod," I ran over to him, unsure if he was hurt-that pole was pretty high off the ground, after all.

But he sat up and laughed, then spotted some straw next to him. "Whoops!" He was still laughing. "There goes some more of me again!"

"That doesn't hurt at all?" I asked. It looked like his guts were spilling out to me.

"Nah," He assured me. "I just keep picking it up and putting it back in again." He stuffed himself again, then he stood up (with some difficulty). "Man, does it feel good to be free-"

On the last word, Scarecrow had attempted to spin around, but just ended up tripping over the fence, flipping over it, and landing right on his back in what looked to be a very painful manner.

I forgot he was a scarecrow for a minute, and I screamed and ran over to him.

"Did I scare you?" He said almost hopefully as he sat himself up again.

I kneeled into a sitting position beside him. "No no no," I explained. "I just thought you hurt yourself."

"But I didn't scare you?" Now he sounded sad. What was up?

"No, of course not," I said, still confused.

"I didn't think so," He said dejectedly.

Before I could ask him why he was so bent on scaring me, a crow landed on his shoulder.

"Boo!" He said to the crow. He started waving his arms wildly. "Scat, crow! BOO!"

The crow had absolutely no reaction but to take a piece of straw from Scarecrow's head and fly off.

He indicated the retreating bird. "You see? I can't even scare a crow!"

Oh right. SCAREcrow. That's why he wanted to scare me.

"They come for miles around just to eat in my field and laugh in my face!" He sighed and slumped against the fence. "I'm a failure because I haven't got a brain."

Here's my deal: I hate seeing people sad. It's one of the reasons I joke around a lot. And especially seeing Scarecrow sad-one of the few people in my entire life who didn't think I was a freak or a weirdo, which constituted as 'friend' in my book-seeing him sad was doubly worse.

So I tried to distract him. "Well, what would you do if you DID have a brain?"

"Do?" Scarecrow sat up, and I saw his frown had disappeared. Phew.

"Why if I had a brain, I could-

_I could wile away the hours_

_  
Conferrin' with the flowers _

_  
Consultin' with the rain_"

Another song? Well, at least this one didn't seem like a big production number. I smiled as he sang.

"_And my head I'd be scratchin' _

_  
While my thoughts were busy hatchin' _

_  
If I only had a brain!_"

At this he lost his balance a little and rolled onto the Yellow Brick Road. I ran after him and slowly lifted him up by his collar as he continued to sing.

"_I'd unravel any riddle _

_  
For any individ'l _

_  
In trouble or in pain_"

I'd lifted him up successfully, but as soon as he was up, he fell over again. I quickly caught him, then was surprised to find myself singing.

"_With the thoughts you'd be thinkin' _

_  
You could be another Lincoln _

_  
If you only had a brain._"

I was still getting used to the singing thing, but I smiled in pride at my clever rhyme in the song.

Scarecrow could now somewhat stand on his own, although he stumbled a lot. He started singing in a mock deep voice, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"_Oh, I _

_  
Could tell you why _

_  
The ocean's near the shore! _

_  
I could think of things I never thunk before!_"

He switched back to his normal voice.

"_And then I'd sit-_"

He twisted himself into a sitting position.

"_And think some more!_"

He started to stand up, and put on a fake sad face.

"_I would not be just a nothin' _

_  
My head all full of stuffin' _

_  
My heart all full of pain,_"

He quickly smiled as he saw my sad expression at this. He could pretend he was kidding all he wanted, but I knew there was an element of truth behind those words.

He then began to dance, but started to fumble and trip near the end.

"_I would dance and be merry _

_  
Life would be a ding-a-derry _

_  
If I only had a brain!_"

On the last note of the song, Scarecrow completely twisted in the air and fell right on his back.

I wasn't concerned this time, since now I knew it didn't hurt. I just clapped and sat down next to him.

"Bravo!" I laughed as I began restuffing him. "If our scarecrows in Kansas could do that, the crows'd be scared shitless!"

"They would?!" Scarecrow asked hopefully.

"Yup!" I smiled.

"Where's Kansas?" Scarecrow asked curiously.

"It's where Iive-a long way from here," I sighed. I caught myself and quickly cleared my throat-I didn't want to bother him with MY problems. "I need to get back, so I'm going to see some 'Great and Powerful' Wizard of Oz who can hopefully take me back." I explained.

"You're going to see a wizard?" Scarecrow asked.

I nodded. Didn't I just say that?

"Do you think if I asked the Wizard, he'd give me some brains?!" Scarecrow looked very excited.

"Hunh," I said thoughtfully. "I never thought about that. I'm not sure."

At this, Scarecrow deflated a little.

"Um!" I scrambled. "But, hey, it's worth a shot, right?"

Scarecrow perked up. "Yeah, you're right!"

I suddenly remembered something. "Wait, maybe you shouldn't come with me."

Scarecrow looked very hurt at this.

"No-no-no-no-no!!" I panicked. "It's not that I don't want you to come, I do! But...see, I've got this Witch after me, and I don't want you to get caught in the crossfire."

"A witch?" Scarecrow scoffed. "I'm not afraid of a witch. I'm not afriad of anything!"

I crossed my arms and gave him an "Oh, really" look.

"Well, except a lighted match," He admitted, indicating his straw stuffing.

I chuckled a little. "I don't blame you for that." I'd be scared of fire, too, if I was essentially walking kindling.

"But I'd face a whole box of 'em for a chance at getting some brains!" He said bravely.

"Look," He begged. "I won't be any trouble, cause I don't eat a thing. A-and I won't try to manage things, because I can't think!"

I chuckled again at this, but stopped when I saw the absolutely pitiful and desperate look in his brown eyes.

"Won't you take me with you?" He asked quietly, as if he expected I was going to hit him.

I looked at Brutus for approval. He smiled and wagged his tail.

I looked back at Scarecrow. "Y'know, we have a saying in my world. Two's company-"

"And three's a crowd," Scarecrow completely deflated and began to walk away.

"Wrong!" I grabbed his arm to stop him, and he turned around, confused.

"Three's a party!" I smiled. "And I don't know about you, but I love parties."

A big grin stretched across his face, then he jumped in the air.

"Wahoo! We're off to see a wizard!!" He stumbled and almost fell as he landed, but I helped him straighten out.

"We're gonna have to work on this coordination thing of yours," I said, as he finally got on two steady feet.

"Oh, I'll try! I really will!" He promised. I smiled-his excitement was contagious.

"To Oz?" I offered him my arm.

"To Oz!" He hooked his arm around mine.

Suddenly, not only was I singing against my will, but dancing against my will. 'More surprises,' I thought a little sarcastically.

"_We're off to see the Wizard! _

_  
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz! _

_  
We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz _

_  
If ever a Wiz there was!_"

We had kind of sashayed in a circle around ourselves, and now were walking down one of the forks with huge arm swings.

"_If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was _

_  
The Wizard of Oz is one because _

_  
Because, because, because, because, becaaaaause _

_  
Because of the wonderful things he does! _

_  
We're off to see the Wizard _

_  
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!_"

I hoped to God we'd picked the right road.

**So that's that! The next chapter will announce my full intentions in terms of one plot point in this story, although if you've read between the lines carefully enough, you may have already guessed it :) REVIEWS ARE LOVE PLZ REVIEW**


	5. A Man Made Out of Tin

*Austin-Powers style* 'Ello,'ello! That movie was just on :) So here's the next chapter! 

**JaredMilne1982: Not quite, though that is something I need to probably explain. Doe finds herself singing because-well, it's a musical world. It's as natural to these people as breathing. It just seems unnatural to Doe since she's never experienced spontaneously breaking out into song XD Does that make any sense? *sweatdrop***

**Anyway, I don't blame you for not getting it-it's REALLTY subtle, you'd have to know exactly what you were looking for. It's a bit more obvious in this chapter, I think :)**

**Now: This chapter starts in Doe's POV, then switches to Scarecrow, then goes back to Doe. Got it? Good.**

**Enjoy, and I don't own anything! **

**

* * *

**Scarecrow and I had been walking for some time. We were currently in a wide forest.

Suddenly, we heard a growling sound. Both Scarecrow and I looked around.

"What was that?" Scarecrow wondered aloud.

We heard it again, but this time I recognized it. I looked at Brutus, and sure enough, he had on his "I'm hungry" face.

I laughed. "It was just Brutus' stomach," I explained. "Poor guy's hungry." I was getting a little hungry myself, but I wasn't about to say anything.

"Well, there's gotta be some fruit trees somewhere around here," Scarecrow reasoned. We started looking around.

A few feet away, I spotted some apple trees.

"There!" I pointed, and quickly walked over to the trees.

"You want a red one or a green one?" I asked Brutus. He barked and waved his paw toward the tree with red apples.

"Yeah, those are my favorite, too," I scratched behind his ears before I reached up to take an apple.

**SMACK! **

"Ow!!" I yelled, along with a few choice words. The tree had slapped my hand-hard-and taken the apple I'd just picked.

"Dorothy, are you okay?" Scarecrow hobbled over to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine-shit," I mumbled the last word, rubbing my hand. I turned to the tree. "What the hell's your problem?"

"What do you think you were doing?" The tree asked me in an irritable, scratchy voice.

"Well, we were hungry, and you _are_ apple trees-" I tried to explain, but the tree cut me off.

"You hear that?" He turned to one of his friends. "She was hungry!"

"She was hungry!" Repeated his friend in a slightly higher-pitched voice.

"Well, little lady," The first tree addressed me now. "How would you like it if someone came and picked something off of you?"  
'Now I know why trees aren't supposed to talk,' I thought to myself.

Suddenly, Scarecrow took me by the arm. "Let's go, Dorothy," He said, leading me away.

He then turned over his shoulder to glare at the trees. "You don't want any of those apples anyway."

"Whaddya mean, she doesn't want any of my apples?!" The tree sounded angry. "Are you saying my apples aren't what they oughta be?!"

"Why, no," Scarecrow now completely turned to face the tree, his voice challenging. "It's just that she doesn't like apples with _little green worms_."

"Scarecrow!" I whispered harshly to him.

"Why, you-!!" The tree grabbed one of its apples and wound up for a pitch.

"Dorothy, get down!" Scarecrow yelled.

He didn't have to tell me twice. I ran to a nearby bush and ducked behind it.

I could hear the apples dropping like bombs all around me, as well as the trees yelling.

When I didn't hear anything anymore, I looked up.

Apples were strewn everywhere, but the trees were nowhere to be seen. It looked like they'd picked up their roots and left. Scarecrow was standing a few feet away, looking triumphant.

"Help yourself," He grinned from ear-to-ear (so to speak).

I smiled a big smile of my own. "Scarecrow, you're a genius!" I found a red apple and gave it to Brutus, who started digging in immediately.

I spotted another nice, shiny red apple a few feet away, closer to a grove of trees. I quickly crawled over and grabbed it.

But as I was about to take a bite, I noticed something next to me-

A metal foot.

And as I stood up, I realized that foot was attached to a whole, metal man.

I stood there, frozen for a second. He was holding up what looked to be a very sharp axe, and I thought maybe this guy was a soldier, come to arrest me for aggravating shrubbery or something. Or a killer. Both were scary possibilities.

But the strange man didn't move.

'It must be just a statue,' I sighed in relief. 'An incredibly detailed one,' I noted, looking at its lifelike eyes, mouth, and hands.

"Hey, Scarecrow, check this out!" I yelled over my shoulder.

I heard him amble over. "What? What is it?"

"It's a statue of a man-"

At this I tapped the statue's arm to see what kind of metal it was. It seemed more flimsy than the kind of metal a statue should be made out of.

"-made out of...tin?" I questioned even myself.

"Odd place for a statue," Scarecrow commented.

Suddenly, we heard something...something that sounded like mumbling.

"What did you say?" Scarecrow asked me.

"I didn't say anything," I said carefully.

It was then I noticed the statue's mouth was moving-the tiniest of tiny bits, but it was moving.

"It was him!" I said to Scarecrow.

"The statue?" He questioned.

"I think he's alive," I said incredulously.

The tin man started mumbling again, and this time I listened intently.

"I think," I still wasn't sure. "I think he said, 'oilcan'?"

"That's it!" Scarecrow said so loudly I jumped. "He must be rusted and need oil!"

"Oh! I hadn't thought of that." That made perfect sense.

One problem, though.

"But we don't have an oilcan," I looked at the tin man. Poor guy.

"Look!" Scarecrow pointed to a nearby tree trunk, and atop it was-I don't believe this-an oilcan.

"Well," I said, after a moment of shock. "Isn't that convenient?"

I walked over and picked up the oilcan.

It was full.

"This is so convenient it's ridiculous," I laughed to myself. I walked back over to the tin man. "Where would you liked to be oiled first?" I felt like a waitress.

He mumbled something again, but I didn't quite catch it.

"He said his mouth," Scarecrow explained.

"Oh, of course," I mentally slapped myself. Duh, he wants to be able to talk first. I quickly oiled both sides of his mouth, along with his jaw.

The man moved his jaw from side to side, as if testing it, then opened and closed his mouth for the same purpose.

When he was sure his mouth functioned perfectly, he smiled.

"This is amazing. I can talk again!"

"Looks like it," I smiled.

"Could you oil my arms and elbows next?" He asked.

"Yeah, 'course." I quickly began to do just that.

When that oiling was done, I saw he was struggling to put his axe arm down. Making sure to stay clear out of its path, I shoved his arm down. His arm made an audible 'CLANG'.

"Oh crap, sorry!" I thought maybe I broke his arm or something. "I may have done that wrong-did that hurt at all?"

"No, no," He assured me. "It feels wonderful. I've held that axe up for ages."

I sighed in relief that I hadn't broken him. "Man, how'd you get so rusted, anyway?"

"Well," Tin Man explained. "About a year ago, I was chopping that tree," He indicated the tree in front of all of us.

"Then, all of a sudden, it started to rain. And right in the middle of a chop...I rusted solid. I've been that way ever since."

"You were stuck like that for a YEAR?!" I almost shouted.

He just nodded.

"Wow. That majorly sucks." My arm would have been tired too, holding up an axe for 365 days. "But at least you're perfect now, right?" I said as I started oiling his neck.

"Perfect?" He questioned. "Bang on my chest if you think I'm perfect."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. It didn't seem very polite to go banging on people's chests, even if they were made of metal.

I looked to Scarecrow for help, but he looked just as confused as I felt.

"Go ahead, bang on it," Tin Man urged. At this, Scarecrow gave me the 'go on' hand motion, so I had no choice.

"**BANG BANG BANG!!**"

"_bang bang bang..._"

It was a perfect echo. "Too cool," I said to myself.

Scarecrow was more vocal. "Beautiful! What an echo!" He smiled at Tin Man, who was frowning. I didn't understand.

"It's empty," He stated, then motioned us towards him, as if he were telling a big secret. Scarecrow and I leaned in intently.

"The tinsmith forgot to give me a heart."

We both looked at him sadly. "You don't have a heart?" We both said at the same time. (I had to resist the impulse to say, 'Jinx!' like a six-year-old)

Tin Man shook his head sadly. "Nope," He sighed. "All hollow." He then attempted to bang on his own chest, but only succeeded in stumbling backward. Scarecrow and I both rushed over to catch him, but he righted himself and straightened up.

That's when I noticed the background music starting up.

'Everybody's got a song,' I thought, sighing.

* * *

Tin Man began his song.

"_When a man's an empty kettle _

_  
He should be on his mettle _

_  
And yet I'm torn apart _

_  
Just because I'm presumin' _

_  
That I could be kinda human _

_  
If I only had a heart._"

Tin Man suddenly turned to Dorothy and smiled a smile that, for some reason, annoyed me a little.

"_I'd be tender, I'd be gentle _

_  
And awful sentimental _

_  
Regarding love and art_"

He sang these lines directly to Dorothy, and she smiled and looked down, a little embarrassed.

This not only annoyed me, it actually made be a little angry. I couldn't understand why-but then, one needs a brain to understand, right? I shrugged it off.

Tin Man continued to sing.

"_I'd be friends with the sparrows _

_  
And the boy who shoots the arrows _

_  
If I only had a heart_"

He then looked dreamily ahead of him.

"_Picture me _

_  
A balcony _

_  
Above, a voice sings low-_"

He was about to continue, when a voice came out of nowhere.

"Wherefore art thou, Romeo?"

We all looked around for the voice's source for a minute, but Tin Man continued.

"_I'd hear a beat_"

He sighed.

"_How sweet! _

_  
Just to register emotion _

_  
Jealousy, devotion _

_  
And really feel the part_"

He sang this to Dorothy again, and I got that strange annoyed-angry feeling again.

"_I would stay young and chipper _

_  
And I'd lock it with a zipper _

_  
If I only had a heart._"

He paused, then began to walk stiffly.

Suddenly, one of the joints in his knee stuck.

Dorothy quickly ran over and oiled the joint. He moved it around a little, then stuck it back into place.

Satisfied, he began walking again-

When his other joint stuck.

Dorothy handed the oilcan to me, since I was closer, and I oiled the joint. He promptly smacked it back into place.

Now completely oiled, he bowed to us in thanks. Dorothy and I returned the gesture, but Tin Man started to stumble backwards. We started to go after him, but he steadied himself a few feet away.

That was when he started to dance.

He danced very robotically. At one point he stopped, banged on his knees, banged on his chest, then moved his arm up and down, as if pulling a cord, while smoke came out of the top of his head.

I saw Dorothy raise her eyebrows and laugh. I scoffed. Please. It was obvious he was just showing off.

Dorothy tapped me on the shoulder, and I looked over to her.

"We should bring him with us," She said.

"To the Wizard?" I don't know why, but I didn't like this idea.

"Well, yeah! He wants a heart just like you want a brain, and I wouldn't feel right just leaving him here."

She had a point. "Alright, he can come," I said a little grudgingly.

* * *

"Alright, he can come," said Scarecrow. He sounded like he didn't want him to come, and I didn't get why. 'Maybe straw and tin don't mix,' I thought with a chuckle.

I turned back to the Tin Man, still dancing. He brought both his feet together, but they appeared to be stuck that way, because he began to tip to the side.

Scarecrow and I rushed over to catch him, but he righted himself.

But then he started tipping over to the other side. He steadied himself just as Scarecrow and I got over to that side.

Suddenly, he started going all over the place, so Scarecrow and I stood on either side of him. As the music ended, he righted himself completely-

Or so we thought.

He suddenly started leaning more than ever on my side, so I held my arms out to catch him, but Scarecrow was already pulling Tin Man on his end. They both went stumble-running in that direction. Scarecrow managed to grab a tree to steady himself, but Tin Man landed sitting down right on the edge of the Yellow Brick Road.

Scarecrow and I ran over to him.

"You okay?" I asked him.

"I'm fine, but I'm afraid I'm still a little rusty, as it were," Tin Man remarked.

I quickly got out the oilcan and oiled him up a little bit. "That was pretty awesome," I smiled at him, then sat down beside him.

"Y'know, Scarecrow and I were talking," I looked across Tin Man to Scarecrow, who had a less-than-excited look on his face that I still didn't understand. I ignored it and continued.

"And we were wondering if you wanted to come with us to ask the Wizard of Oz for a heart." I finished.

"But what if the Wizard won't give me a heart when we get there?" Tin Man asked.

Crap. I hadn't thought of that. "He will," I assured him, though now I was unsure myself. "I mean, if we tell him how far we've come just to see him, I'm sure-"

I was cut off by a bout of all-too-familiar cackling. Brutus lept into my arms and whimpered, and the other two jumped and turned around.

The Wicked Witch of the West was standing on top of an old abandoned house. I hoped the roof broke through.

"You call that long?" She questioned. "Why, you've just begun!"

She then addressed Scarecrow and Tin Man. "Helping the little lady along, are you, my fine gentlemen?"

I looked and saw they both looked pretty scared. "Guys, don't let her scare you," I whispered to them.

"Well, stay away from her!!" The Witch was saying.

"Or I'll stuff a mattress with you!" She pointed to Scarecrow. "And you!" She pointed to Tin Man. "I'll use you for a beehive!"

As I have mentioned, I don't like when people threaten my friends. I carefully dropped Brutus and stepped in front of the two. "Don't be jealous just 'cause you don't have any friends, Miss Asparagus!" I utilized the name I thought up for her in Munchkinland.

She looked murderous, and I couldn't help but smile triumphantly.

"I'll teach you to sass me!!"

' "Sass"?' I questioned her word choice, but I didn't have much time to think.

The Witch had made a fireball in her hand and was winding up for the pitch.

'I gotta learn to keep my mouth shut,' I inwardly kicked myself.

She threw the fireball straight towards me, and I was paralyzed with fear.

"DOROTHY!!" I heard Scarecrow scream, and the next thing I knew he had shoved both of us aside.

"Aaah!! I'm burning, I'm burning!" He screamed. I looked, and he was right-part of his knee was burning.

This time **I** screamed.

Luckily, Tin Man had taken off his funnel-like hat and quickly put the fire out.

The Witch cackled and disappeared in a puff of red smoke.

We all quickly stood up. "Are you okay?" Scarecrow asked me immediately.

"ME?" I couldn't believe him. "I'M fine! I'M not the one was lit on fire!! My God-can you still move your leg?!"

"It's fine," Scarecrow assured me. He then indicated the house the Witch was previously standing on. "I'm not afraid of her! I'll see you get to the Wizard, whether I get a brain or not!! Stuff a mattress with me..." He mumbled.

Tin Man tapped me on the shoulder, and I turned to him. "I'll see you get to the Wizard, too, whether I get a heart or not." He turned to the house, as if talking to the Witch. "Beehive...bah! Let her try and make a beehive outta me!" He snapped his fingers, but they just made a mettalic banging noise.

I looked at these two guys. They had just met me, some random foreigner who quite literally fell out of the sky, yet they were willing to risk their lives to keep me safe and ensure my happiness. I had never really known that kind of friendship. I was actually getting a little choked up.

I shook that off quickly, but I couldn't help giving both of them big hugs. 'This world's making me soft,' I complained inwardly.

"You guys are the best, you know that?" I smiled at them, and they both smiled back.

"To Oz?" Scarecrow offered his arm just like before, but this time Tin Man answered.

"To Oz!" He said, holding out his arm.

I smiled and hooked my arms around both of theirs. I already knew what was coming.

"_We're off to see the Wizard _

_  
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz _

_  
We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz _

_  
If ever a Wiz there was _

_  
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was _

_  
The Wizard of Oz is one because _

_  
Because, because, because, because, becaaaaaaause_

_  
Because of the wonderful things he does! _

_  
We're off to see the Wizard _

_  
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!_"

'I wonder what other crazy characters I'm going to meet here,' I wondered sarcastically.

'But then again,' I thought, as I looked at my two friends. 'Maybe crazy characters aren't so bad after all.'

* * *

**Two characters met, one to go, then I can start writing the actual exciting stuff! WOOOT!! Please review, especially if you've discovered my secret(not really) plot point!**


	6. Put 'Em Up!

**Hello, all! And congratulations to Fauna Greywolf for being the first to guess the not-so-secret plot point! And with that, I have changed this story to the appropriate genre (note to those just tuning in: I originally had the story listed as Fantasy/General because I didn't want readers going, "When's the romance coming in?!??1!?eleven")**

**JaredMilne1982: 0_0 Dude/Dudette. You should be a book critic. Your reviews are so literate and show that you read very carefully. Thanx! ^_^**

**LION TIME!! Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**As we walked on, the trees in the forest grew closer together, so that hardly any light shone through. I couldn't see beyond a few feet in front of me. There could be a dragon in front of us, and we wouldn't know till we bumped into it. Or until it barbequed us.

I clutched my friends' arms tighter. "I don't like this forest," I stated. "It's too dark and...creepy."

"Of course, I don't know," said Scarecrow. "But it has to get darker before it gets lighter...right?"

"Yeah," Some of my fear eased. "That _is_ right. That's a good point, Scarecrow."

I heard a growl in the distance, and the others must have, too, because I felt them tense up.

"So, um," I tried to hide my fear. "A-are there any wild animals in this forest?"

"Oh, yes," Said Tin Man pleasantly.

I gave him a look. That wasn't quite the answer I wanted.

"Animals that eat st-straw?" Even Scarecrow sounded scared.

"Some, but mostly lions, and tigers, and bears." Tin Man said this as simply as if he were commenting on the weather.

"Great, my favorites." I hid my fear under my sarcasm.

We started to walk forward.

There was no music, and we didn't exactly sing. We just kind of talked to a beat.

"Lions and tigers and bears!

Oh crap!" I said this last part by myself.

The beat got faster and faster, as did our walking, as we got deeper into the forest.

"Lions and tigers and bears!

Oh crap!

Lions and tigers and bears!

Oh crap!

Lions and tigers and bears!

Oh crap!

Lions and tigers and bears!

Oh crap!

Lions and tigers and bears!

Oh crap!"

We were cut off by a loud roar, so loud my screaming was barely audible.

Before my scream was even done, Scarecrow had shoved me aside so I was behind a tree.

I looked to see what had scared us.

My eyes met a huge lion, growling loudly as he bounded down closer to Tin Man and Scarecrow. In their haste to back away from the lion, they had both fallen over.

The lion was now right near the two, so close I could see its face. I noticed it looked more human than animal, but then again, that seemed to be the case with everything in Oz.

The lion was growling in their faces, and both guys were shaking. I didn't blame them one iota.

Suddenly the lion stopped growling. He stood up on his hind legs, and held his front paws out in fists.

"Put 'em up, put 'em up!" He said threateningly.

Never, in my whole life, had I ever heard a lion talk, much less in a New York accent. 'There really isn't a strange limit here,' I thought to myself.

"Which one of ya first?" The lion was saying. When neither offered, he continued.

"I'll fight ya both together if ya want!" He boasted.

"I'll fight ya with one paw tied behind my back!" He demonstrated, putting one paw behind his back and holding the other up in a menacing fist.

"I'll fight ya standin' on one foot!" He put one foot in the air, still in fighting stance.

"I'll fight ya with my eyes closed!" He closed his eyes briefly, then opened them again.

He spotted the axe in Tin Man's hands.

"Oh, pullin' an axe on me, eh?" He approached Tin Man. He then noticed Scarecrow behind him.

"Sneakin' up on me, eh? Why-" He put his paws up again, and Scarecrow flinched. He growled and snapped, first at Scarecrow, then at Tin Man.

"Hey, why don't you go away and leave us alone?" Tin Man finally found his voice.

"Oh, scared, eh?" The lion asked. "Afraid, eh?"

He indicated Tin Man's body. "How long can ya stay fresh in that can?" He laughed.

'Bet he's never heard that before,' I thought, but kept my mouth shut. As far as I knew, that lion didn't know I was here...and those claws looked razor-sharp.

"Come on, get up and fight, ya shiverin' junk-yard!" The lion said to Tin Man.

He turned to Scarecrow. "Put your hands up, ya lopsided bag o' hay!"

"Now that's getting personal, Lion!" His voice shook a little.

Tin Man looked over at Scarecrow too. "Yes, get up and teach him a lesson," He said deliberately.

"Well, what's..wrong with..._you_ teachin' him?" Scarecrow asked.

"Well, I-I hardly know him." Said Tin Man.

Suddenly, Brutus ran out from next to me and started barking bravely at the lion.

"I'll get you, anyway, pipsqueak!" The lion said. He started chasing Brutus.

'Strikes two and three, Lion,' I thought, before running after Brutus.

I quickly snatched him up, and waited for the lion to come in range.

As soon as he did, I slapped him clear across the face.

I didn't expect it to do anything, but the lion immediately stopped and started crying on the spot. I was stunned silent-a lion, crying? I didn't hit him that hard, did I?

"What did ya do that for?" He blubbered. "I didn't bite 'im!

"Well, you sure tried to!" I said harshly. "I mean, it's bad enough, you picking on guys made of straw and tin, and teenage girls, but when you pick on poor little dogs-!" Who did this guy think he was?

"Well, ya didn't have to hit me, didja?" He was still sobbing. "Is my nose bleedin'?"

"No, of course not," I said. "I didn't hit you that hard."

He was still crying. "Oh, come on, you're making a big fuss over nothing," I said defensively. He was making me feel like the bad guy. "What do you expect, when you go picking on things weaker than you? You're just a big coward!"

"You're right, I am a coward," He sobbed.

Didn't see that response coming.

"I haven't any courage at all. I even scare myself! I mean, look at the circles under my eyes!"

I looked, and he did indeed have prominent circles under his eyes.

"I haven't slept in weeks!" He sniffed.

"Why don't you try counting sheep?" Scarecrow offered.

"That doesn't do any good-I'm afraid of 'em!" He sputtered, then started sobbing all over again. It was hard to believe this was the same, intimidating lion from a few minutes ago.

Tin Man tapped me on the shoulder, and I turned to look at him.

"Do you think the Wizard could help him, too?" He asked.

"Of course he could," I smiled at Lion. "Why don't you come with us? We're going to see the Wizard of Oz."

"To get him a heart!" Scarecrow pointed at Tin Man.

"And him a brain," Tin Man pointed at Scarecrow.

"I'm sure he could give you some courage," I assured Lion.

"B-but," He was still crying. "Wouldn't you feel degraded to be seen in the company of a cowardly lion?" His voice shook. "I would!" He started bawling again.

"No, of course we wouldn't," I said, and I turned to the others, who nodded in agreement.

"Gee, that-that's awfully nice of ya," I saw him finally smile. "My life has been simply unbearable." He sniffed a little

"Well, it's gonna be fine now, right?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I guess it is," He smiled again.

There was no warning music this time, so I jumped a little when I suddenly started walking.

"_Yeah, it's sad, believe me, missy _

_  
When you're born to be a sissy _

_  
Without the vin and verve._"

I didn't know what vin or verve was, but I disregarded it and listened.

"_But I could show my prowess _

_  
Be a lion, not a mo-use _

_  
If I only had the nerve. _

_  
I'm afraid there's no denyin' _

_  
I'm just a dandy-lion! _

_  
A fate I don't deserve _

_  
I'd be brave as a blizzard-_"

"_I'd be gentle as a lizard-_" Tin Man interrupted.

"_I'd be clever as a gizzard-_" Scarecrow cut in.

I then shocked myself by stopping them all and singing without meaning to again.

"_If the Wizard is a wizard _

_Who will serve..._"

"_Then I'm sure to get a brain!_" Scarecrow sang.

"_A heart!_" Sang Tin Man.

"_A home!_" I already had a home, but whatever.

"_The nerve!_" Lion made such a funny face when he said that, I couldn't help but laugh.

Suddenly, Lion yawned and stretched. "I think I might actually get some sleep tonight. Whaddya say we get some shuteye?"

I yawned a big yawn. I didn't realize how tired I was. "I am pretty tired," I admitted.

I turned to Tin Man and Scarecrow, and realized they probably didn't need to sleep.

"Sorry, guys," I apologized sincerely. "I know how much you guys want to get to the Emerald City, and I don't want to hold you up-"

"Don't worry about it, Dorothy," Scarecrow smiled.

"Someone needs to keep watch anyway," Tin Man pointed out. "For the tigers and bears- and non-cowardly lions," At this, Tin Man smiled jokingly at Lion.

"Hey!" Lion looked very offended.

"Just getting you back for the junkyard comment," He laughed.

Lion growled at him, but this time we all just laughed.

"So, Lion," I asked after we'd all settled down. "Know any good sleeping spots in this forest?"

He brightened. "Sure do! Follow me!" He started to bound forward, then paused.

"Uh, on second thought, could you guys go in front of me?"

We laughed, then hooked arms with Lion as he showed us the way.

* * *

**You may be wondering why I didn't have them immediately skip off singing towards the Emerald City. Two reasons:**

**I'm trying to make the story more realistic, and they never slept once in that movie (the poppy fields don't count).**

**I have a little plot bunny planned :)**

**REVIEWS ARE MY FAVE!!**


	7. Once Upon a December

**Hello, all! So this chapter isn't in the movie-a deleted scene, you could say. It is my own, personal, evil creation. Why evil? CAUSE I SAID SO.**

**mrs. rosey cheeks: My story's flattered, but not ready for a commitment just yet. But my story would be more than happy to be friends with benefits ;)**

**Babygirl555: Do I update fast? Um…see last update for Finding Nemo presents: Enchanted *sweatdrop***

**By the way, I highly recommend listening to the title song if you haven't already, since it's important in this chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**Lion had led us to a circular grove of trees with lush grass in the middle of it.

"This is perfect," I smiled at Lion.

"Aw, well..." He said sheepishly. He yawned again. "I'm turnin' in."

Lion crouched on all fours, made a little circle in the grass, and curled up to sleep. I laughed as Brutus did the very same.

I turned to Scarecrow and Tin Man. "You guys really don't mind waiting till morning?" I asked.

"Not a bit," Scarecrow smiled warmly at me.

"Besides, somebody's gotta stand guard. This forest is dangerous," Tin Man added.

I nodded in agreement. "You boys be careful, you hear?"

"Yes, ma'am!" They said in unison as they saluted.

I laughed outright. "Well, I'll see you two in the morning then."

I laid down on the grass on my side, using my hands as a pillow. Not the most comfortable thing in the world, but it's not like there was any other option-

"Here." I jumped as I heard Scarecrow's voice-I thought they'd already left to patrol.

He was holding out a handful of his straw. I suddenly realized he was giving it to me to use as a pillow.

I smiled a wide smile at the kind gesture. "Thanks, Scarecrow. That's really nice of you."

As I took it from him, I asked, "You sure you don't need it?"

"Nah, I've got enough straw in me to build a house!" He joked.

As if on cue, more straw fell out of him, and we laughed.

I placed the straw on the ground and lay down on it. It was a touch scratchy, but MUCH comfier than the ground.

"Comfy?" Scarecrow asked apprehensively.

"Mm-hmm!" I nodded and the straw rustled.

He smiled. "Well, g'night Dorothy."

"Goodnight, Scarecrow," I waved.

He walked away and disappeared into the trees.

* * *

I walked back among the trees and saw Tin Man looking at me with his arms crossed and a smile playing on his face.

"That was cute," He chortled.

"What?" I didn't get it.

"Oh, nothing," Tin Man smiled and turned away.

I rolled my eyes and followed him, deciding to let it go for now.

But I did have one pressing question.

"Hey, Tin Man?" I asked.

"Hm?" He was scanning for danger.

"Uh..." For some reason I felt awkward asking this. "Well, remember when you were singing about your heart earlier?"

"I was singing about my lack of a heart," He corrected. "but yeah. Why?"

"Um...that is...well…why were you singing to Dorothy so much?" The question came out louder than I intended it to.

Tin Man looked shocked for a second at my outburst, then smiled knowingly. "Ooooh," He laughed. "I see."

"What?" He and his brain were starting to get on my nerves.

"Nothing," He said again. Before I could ask again, he began to explain.

"I guess you could say it was one last test." When I gave him a confused look, he continued.

"Y'know, to see if maybe I had a heart after all. I would have felt something if I did-she is a pretty little thing-but..."

He touched his hand where his heart would be.

"Nothing." He sighed, then perked up as he looked back at me. "So relax, I'm not after her or anything."

"What do you mean?" I really didn't understand this guy.

At this, Tin Man sighed, exasperated. "Man, you really don't have a brain," He said as he walked away.

"Hey!" I may not have a brain, but I knew I was being insulted. I had a comeback all ready, when Tin Man suddenly put a hand up to silence me.

"You hear that?" He whispered.

I hadn't really been listening, but now I paused to listen. And I did hear something.

"It sounds like music," I whispered. "And...someone singing."

"And it's coming from over there." Tin Man pointed towards the grove of trees where Lion and Dorothy were sleeping.

A jolt of fear shot through me. "You don't think it's a dangerous animal, do you?"

"Only one way to find out." Tin Man put a finger to his lips and motioned for me to follow him.

He held his axe out in front of him as he walked, and I tried to look as menacing as a guy made of straw could look.

Tin Man took a deep breath, then peered around the tree into the circle.

"So what's making the music?" I asked impatiently when he didn't turn around right away.

He finally turned to me with a smile that made me wonder if I wanted to know.

"See for yourself," He sounded slightly amused.

I wondered what could make him smile like that, so I peered around the tree.

* * *

I was starting to relax and fall asleep when I heard a voice a few feet away.

"D-D-Dorothy?" It was Lion.

I stretched sleepily and rolled over to look at him. He was completely sitting up, twisting his tail nervously.

"Yeah?" I yawned. "What's up?"

"I still can't sleep," He admitted. "I k-keep hearin' sp-spooky noises and s-seein' spooky th-things in the tr-trees."

I sat up. "You don't have to worry, Lion," I tried to calm him down. "It's all just your imagination. Besides, Scarecrow and Tin Man are keeping guard. We're perfectly safe."

He seemed to calm down a little at this, but he still looked scared. "I still can't get to sl-sleep," He looked on the verge of tears.

That woke me up. I walked the few feet over to him. "Well, how do you normally get to sleep?"

"W-well," He started. He stopped and looked embarrassed. "My mama used to sing me lullabies. That used to put me right to sleep." Suddenly, he whipped around to look at me. "Could you sing a lullaby?"

I was stunned silent for a moment. I started laughing nervously.

"Oh, no, no-no-no, I-I couldn't...I don't really sing in front of people, a-and besides, I don't know any lullabies-"

"Please?" He begged.

As I debated this in my head. I suddenly heard something.

Soft, fairy-like music.

And not just any soft, fairy-like music.

It was the background music for 'Once Upon A December', the song I just learned from chorus.

'I don't BELIEVE this,' I thought to myself.

Now I didn't have a choice-I was going to sing whether I wanted to or not.

'Might as well do it willingly for a change,' I thought.

"Ok, I'll sing you a lullaby," I sighed. "Go ahead, lie down."

He smiled, relieved. "Thanks, Dorothy," He curled up again.

"Yeah, yeah." I said nonchlantly, which is not at all how I was feeling. I had never sang loud enough for anyone to hear before.

I took a few deep breaths...and began to sing, albiet fairly quietly.

"_Dancing bears, painted wings _

_  
Things I almost remember _

_  
And a song someone sings _

_  
Once upon a December._"

'Hey, I don't sound completely horrible!' I thought with a smile as I continued to sing.

"_Someone holds me safe and warm _

_  
Horses prance through a silver storm _

_  
Figures dancing gracefully _

_  
Across my memory_"

In chorus, at this point in the song, it was just a piano solo, but I decided to just keep singing the tune on "la". At one point, I thought I heard movement in the trees near us, but I shrugged it off after hearing nothing else and continued to sing.

"_Someone holds me safe and warm _

_  
Horses prance through a silver storm _

_  
Figures dancing gracefully _

_  
Across my memory _

_  
Far away, long ago _

_  
Glowing dim as an ember _

_  
Things my heart used to know _

_  
Things it yearns to remember-_"

I was stopped by an audible snore. I looked down and saw Lion was fast asleep.

I smiled, glad he could sleep. I patted him on the head.

"_And a song someone sings_"

I walked over to my spot, and laid down, feeling pretty drowsy myself. But I managed to sing the last line before falling asleep.

"_Once upon a December..._"

* * *

I was stunned, and didn't move until I heard Tin Man chuckling.

I looked to see what was so funny, and saw him looking directly at me.

"I take it you liked her singing?" Tin Man chortled. "You can close your mouth, y'know."

My jaw had dropped the minute I realized it was Dorothy singing. I quickly shut it, embarrassed. "Am I not allowed to like her singing voice?" I asked defensively.

Tin Man laughed again. "You are so dense," He chuckled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He ignored my question. "Come on, we've got to keep patrolling."

I scowled, but followed him anyway, the beautiful voice of Dorothy replaying in my head all the while.

* * *

**You likey? I'm going back to the actual story in the next chapter, so if you didn't, no worries. Don't forget to REVIEW!! **


	8. Poppies

**Whaddup, peeps?!?!? ……yeah, sorry, I'll never do that again.**

**Babygirl 555: It's funny you mention your iPod touch, because I write all my stories in the 'Notes' section. Really. I then e-mail them to myself and transfer them to Word. **

**And it's very rare for me to update that fast-the only reason these are faster is because I'm a few chapters ahead, but those chapters still need to be revised and stuff, so…*shrug***

**Alright gang, we're headed to the poppy fields this time around. Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**My brain woke up, but I didn't immediately open my eyes. I had to think a little first.

So many questions flew through my mind.

'Was all that real? Do I want it to be real? Will I be sad if it's not? Should I tell anyone about it?'

I decided to just screw it all and open my eyes.

For some reason, I felt relieved to see the circle of trees again. It was hard to tell, but the slightest sliver of light was showing through the trees. Lion was still asleep, mumbling and clawing at the air every so often. I stifled a laugh.

Brutus must have been waiting for me to wake up, because he immediately sat up and trotted his way over to me.

I yawned and stretched, then scratched Brutus behind his ears. "Mornin', Bru," I smiled at him, and he wagged his tail happily.

"Oh, Dorothy, you're up!"

I whipped around and saw Tin Man and Scarecrow walking towards me.

"Hey, guys!" I waved as I stood up. "Good morning to you!"

"To you as well," Nodded Tin Man.

"Howdja sleep?" Asked Scarecrow.

"Very comfortably," I smiled at him gratefully. "Here's your straw back, by the way."

"Oh, yeah, thanks," Scarecrow smiled sheepishly as he restuffed himself.

Brutus was getting irritated that no one was paying attention to him, and so barked quite loudly.

"I'm innocent, I tell ya!" Lion yelled as he jolted awake. We all laughed as Lion realized where he was.

"Uh, g'mornin," He said, red-faced.

I chuckled. "I take it you slept well?"

"Yeah...hey, yeah!" He sounded triumphant. "I did sleep, didn't I? Wasn't afraid o' nothin' all night!"

I decided not to correct him and instead say, "See? You're not so cowardly after all!"

"Yeah!" By now he was on his feet-well, his hind legs, anyway. "And once I get some courage from the Wizard, nothin's gonna ever scare me!"

"Well then, let's get going!" Smiled Tin Man.

We all cheered, then linked arms and (of course) began to sing. I actually knew the words this time, and was so excited I decided to just sing full-out.

"_We're off to see the Wizard _

_  
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz! _

_  
We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz _

_  
If ever a Wiz there was! _

_  
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was _

_  
The Wizard of Oz is one because _

_  
Because, because, because, because, becaaaaaaaause _

_  
Because of the wonderful things he does! _

_  
We're off to see the Wizard _

_  
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!_

_

* * *

_We had all been walking in the woods for what seemed like forever.

"God, do these woods ever end?" I asked Lion.

"Well, I've never gone outside them," He admitted. "I was too s-scared-"

"Look!" Scarecrow interrupted.

I looked where he was pointing, and saw a light at the end of the long forest.

"Alright!" I cheered. "Come on, guys!"

We all ran toward the light, and soon were finally out of the forest.

My eyes were so un-used to light after the dark forest, I was blinded by the light for a minute.

After a few seconds (and a few hundred blinks) I could see again, and what I saw amazed me.

"Wow..."

We were right next to the biggest field of flowers I'd ever seen. Pink poppies were absolutely everywhere.

And beyond the field was a towering, shimmering, green city.

"Is that the Emerald City?" I asked hopefully.

"If it's not, I don't know what it is!" Tin Man said excitedly.

"Waaaahoooo!" I couldn't contain myself-I jumped up and down on the spot. "We did it, you guys! Woooo!"

I started spinning around in the poppy fields, not caring how stupid I looked. I even picked a poppy and put it in my ponytail, giggling.

I stopped myself then-me, giggling?-and walked back over to them, incredibly embarrassed.

"Sorry, guys," I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. "Got a little carried away there."

"Hey, we're excited, too!" Said Scarecrow.

As if to prove it, he promptly picked me up and spun me around. I didn't expect it, and tried to hold onto his neck, which just resulted in us both toppling over, landing on our backs.

Everyone laughed at that.

"Jesus," I said after a minute of trying to control my laughter. "For a guy stuffed with straw, you're strong as hell."

"Yeah, well..." Now Scarecrow looked awkward.

I stood up and offered my hand to help him up.

"Shall we go then?" Said Tin Man.

I smirked at all of them. "Race ya!"

We all started running at full speed towards the Emerald City.

At first Lion and I were in the lead, but suddenly I started feeling really winded.

I had to stop for a moment and watch Scarecrow and Tin Man zoom ahead of me, my hands on my knees as I panted.

The field started to spin, and I had to sit down.

"Dorothy?" The others had noticed I was behind and were now quickly making their way back over to me.

"I'm fine," I assured them when I saw their worried faces. "I just need to sit for a second, that's all."

"But we're nearly there!" Tin Man said, confused.

"I know, I know, I'll just-" Even though I was sitting, the field started to spin again, faster this time. I subconsciously put my hand to my head in an effort to stop the spinning. I could feel myself swaying a little.

"Dorothy, are you alright?" Scarecrow sounded frightened.

"Yeah..." I wasn't so sure anymore.

"Here, give us your hands, we'll pull you along," Said Scarecrow.

"Yeah, good idea."

I tried to lift my hands up, but I couldn't even find the strength for that. Everything was spinning so fast, I couldn't have grabbed Scarecrow's hands anyway. All I saw was a blur of pink swirling faster and faster and faster still.

I could hear Scarecrow and Tin Man yelling, but I couldn't respond-I felt like I was falling down a bottomless pit.

'I never liked poppies.'

That was my last thought before I lost consciousness.

* * *

"Here, give us your hands, we'll pull you along."

Tin Man nodded in agreement with me.

"Yeah, good idea," She looked really weak, and you can bet I was worried sick.

Her arm went up a little and her hand twitched, but it didn't look like she could do more than that. She started swaying a little. I was truly scared-what was going on?

"Dorothy?!"

She didn't respond this time. Her eyelids just drooped and she immediately fell over.

"Dorothy!!!" Tin Man and I yelled in unison.

Tin Man flipped her over so she was on her back. I listened for a heartbeat. It was there, but dangerously slow.

"It's okay, she's still breathing." I looked up to see Tin Man-crying?

"Poor little Dorothy!" He sniffed.

"Tin Man, not now, you'll rust! We've got to think of a plan!"

"Well," Tin Man composed himself. "We could try carrying her."

"Yeah! Maybe someone in Emerald City can help her." I certainly hoped so.

We lifted with all our might, but we couldn't budge Dorothy an inch.

"But this doesn't make sense!" Said Tin Man after our fourth try. "You were able to lift her no problem before!"

"Yeah, I was." I tried to figure our why that could be.

Suddenly, I heard snoring, and turned to see Lion and Brutus fast asleep as well.

'Why would they fall asleep too? Unless-'

"Tin Man, this is a spell!" I shouted in realization.

"What?" He didn't follow.

"Don't you see? Lion, Brutus, and Dorothy all fell asleep at the same time! What are the odds of that? The Wicked Witch must have put a spell on these poppy flowers!"

"Oh no! What'll we do?!" Tin Man started to cry again.

Before I could warn him against crying again, he was on his feet, running around the field like a madman.

"Help! HELP!!" He was shouting to no one.

"What are you doing?!" I questioned. It wasn't like him to be this emotional. "Shouting won't-!"

I looked down at Dorothy. Paler than usual, sparkling eyes not visible, mouth missing its signature smile. She looked...

Dead.

I didn't care if it was pointless-if somebody heard and brought Dorothy back, I'd do anything.

"HELP!!" I started shouting right along with Tin Man.

We shouted and shouted. We must've looked like complete fools.

Suddenly, something white fell on my nose. Confused, I stopped shouting for a second, and picked it up.

It was a snowflake, which dissolved in an instant.

I looked up, and saw it was snowing all around us.

Tin Man had noticed it too, and was looking at me with equal confusion.

"Why is it snowing?" I asked him.

He shrugged with some difficulty-the snow was beginning to rust him. "Freak snowstorm, maybe?"

"But look," I pointed over to the yellow brick road ahead of us, completely untouched by the snow. "It's only snowing over here."

"But why-?" It was then we both realized there was only person who could've done this.

"Glinda," Tin Man smiled.

"Thank you!" I shouted, and I knew she heard me.

" 'Thank you'? How does snow help us?" Tin Man asked. "All it's doing is rusting me up!"

We heard a groan, and looked to see Dorothy moving slightly.

I smirked smugly at Tin Man.

He frowned. "Alright, you were right this time. Don't get used to it."

I laughed, then immediately turned my attention to Dorothy.

* * *

'God, it's cold. I guess that makes sense-I'm pretty sure I'm dead. Poor Kirk! And Scarecrow and Tin Man and Lion-they must all feel awful.

'And it's all my fault.

'I hope someone takes good care of Brutus. I'm sorry, little buddy. I promise, if they don't take good care of you, I'll come back and haunt them till the end of time.

'I hope the guys make it safely to the Emerald City. Not that they need a brain, a heart, and courage-I could've told them they had those things already. But I know they won't listen to me. That's okay-the Wizard will tell them.

'Goddamn that Witch! Couldn't even kill me herself-she had to poison flowers. FLOWERS! That's a new level of low. If I wasn't dead, I'd hunt her down and beat the living hell outta her. But of course I can't, cause, y'know, I'm dead.

'I just wish I could've said goodbye to them all.

'I'm feeling something cold fall on my skin. Well, that doesn't make sense-I shouldn't even be able to feel my skin.

'Hey, I can feel my body again! Maybe I'm not dead after all! Now if I could just open my eyes-"

My eyes met a field of snow. Snow? What the crap? It was sunny not two seconds ago.

Or was it two seconds? How long have I been out?

"Dorothy?"

I looked directly above me to see Scarecrow and Tin Man's concerned faces.

I smiled. "Hey guys. Did I miss anything?" I stood up with ease this time.

"Only us bein' sad-sacks 'cause we thought you were dead," Said Scarecrow.

And then he pulled me into a tight hug.

I didn't expect it, but hugged him back. "I don't plan on dying anytime soon," I assured him as I pulled away.

"Oh, wait!" Scarecrow pulled something out of my ponytail.

"What-?" Before I could ask, he showed me the poppy. I'd forgotten I'd put it in my hair.

"Good call," I nodded.

We heard a yawn as Lion woke up. "Unusual weather we're havin', ain't it?"

I chuckled, then realized-

"Where's Brutus?"

I heard a sneeze, and turned around to see Brutus indignantly shaking the snowflakes out of his fur.

I picked him up and brushed a few last snowflakes out.

"Well, now that _that's_ all over-" I stopped as I realized Tin Man was frozen in rust again.

"Oh crap, the snow!" I rushed over to him with the oilcan and oiled him down as fast as I could.

"Let's get out of this snow," I said.

We all hightailed it over to the yellow brick road beyond the field. As soon as we all stepped away from the field, the snow stopped.

"How-?" I turned to Scarecrow, who was smiling. I knew then.

"Glinda," We said in unison, and laughed.

'Maybe she's not as stupid as I thought,' I wondered. 'She's still annoying, though.'

"We all set?" I asked the group, who nodded (except Brutus, who barked his agreement).

"Then let's go to the Emerald City!"

Suddenly, I heard voices. 'At least I don't have to sing this time,' I thought.

"_You're out of the woods _

_  
You're out of the dark _

_  
You're out of the night _

_  
Step into the sun _

_  
Step into the light_"

The guys were bouncing with the beat, and I laughed and joined them. We then started walking to the Emerald City (finally).

"_Keep straight ahead for _

_  
The most glorious place _

_  
On the face of the earth _

_  
Or the sky_"

We were getting closer and closer, and I was actually getting excited.

"_Hold onto your breath _

_  
Hold onto your heart _

_  
Hold onto your hope _

_  
March up to the gate and bid it _

_  
Open _

_  
Open _

_  
Open!_"

As the voices had said, we were right up at the gate now. There was a long string with a tassle at the end attatched to a bell.

I looked to the guys, who excitedly motioned for me to ring it.

'When did I become the leader?' I asked myself.

I looked up at the huge gate, feeling a little intimidated, but mostly excited (why?).

I took a deep breath, and rang the bell.

* * *

**And there you have it! **

**You guys figured out that one part was Scarecrow's POV, right? If you didn't-well, now you know. *tries to resist joke, but can't* And knowing is half the battle! GI JOOOOOOOE!!!!!  
**

**Anyway, next up will be Emerald City, and things are really gonna start rolling from there. So stay tuned, and REVIEW PRETTY PLEASE WITH GUMMY BEARS AND CHOCOLATE SYRUP ON TOP! :)**


	9. Merry Old Land of Oz

**Greetings, readers! In celebration of my school's production of the Wizard of Oz opening tomorrow (which makes me both excited and incredibly nervous) I present to you a nice, long, actual-stuff-happening chapter! The little Doe/Scarecrow scene in here went through quite a few rewrites, but I think it turned out okay….I think. Aw well, not much I can do about it now. *shrug* Oh, and I decided to start writing "Whoever's P.O.V." (point of view if you didn't know) to avoid confusion, as I realized I constantly bop back and forth from person to person. Hope it helps!  
**

**mrs. rosey cheeks: Glad you like ^_^ Thank you! And you keep up your reviewing!**

**Babygirl555: This is TOTALLY how the Wizard of Oz should have been, yes. I'm doing well? Woo! *pumps fist***

**JaredMilne1982: I've always loved the word 'spunky' and am thrilled that it was used to describe one of MY characters! :D Yeah, Doe'll choke a bitch if you cross her or her friends. And you reminded me of something I have to clear up-Tin Man does love Dorothy, but not in a romantic way, as he said earlier in the forest. They fight a lot because-well, they're opposites. Tin Man relies on his brain, and Scarecrow relies on his heart. (Mulan 2 flashback? Anyone else get one?) But under their squabbling, they're becoming friends, I think. Kinda like (WARNING: ANIME REFERENCE) Yuki and Kakeru from **_**Fruits Basket**_**. I know it's hard to tell now, this early, but yeah. I've always hated love triangles where both guys love the girl, cause I'm like, "What about the poor guy who doesn't get her?" So I try to avoid that in my stories.**

…**Wow, that was a rant that Dr. Cox would envy. ^^; And as for Doe's feelings……..you'll just have to wait and see ;)**

**Disclaimer: Yes, yes, I don't own the Wizard of Oz, blah blah JUST LET ME WRITE THE STORY ALREADY!!!**

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* * *

**

Doe's P.O.V.

A little man popped out of the top of the door. He was wearing a green suit with huge, elaborate shoulder pads, and green leather gloves to match. He had a curly moustache but was noticably balding. Overall, he looked completely ridiculous. I had to pinch my arm to keep myself from laughing at him.

"Who rang that bell?!" He asked, in a voice that sounded like it hadn't hit puberty yet. I had to pinch myself again.

"Yo," I said finally, waving to get his attention.

"Can't you read?!" He shrilled.

I looked around, as did the others.

"Read what?" We all said together ( I suppressed another 'Jinx!')

"The notice!!" His voice was getting higher and higher.

I looked again for a notice I may have missed, but saw none.

"What notice?" In unison again-how does that keep happening?

"Why, it's right there!!" Soon only dogs would be able to hear him. "It's plain as the nose on my face!!! It's, uh..."

He looked to see there was, indeed, no notice.

He did a double take at the door, then retreated back inside, 'tsk'ing at no one in particular.

I thought maybe he was going to finally open the door, but instead we just saw his hand slap a notice on the door, and whisk back in.

We all read the sign together.

" 'Bell out of order. Please knock.' "

"What?! It works fine! We just heard it!" I was getting sick of this guy.

"I'm waiting," His muffled voice said from inside.

I growled, and banged the knocker as hard as I could, wishing the door was his face.

He popped back out. "Well, well, that's more like it! Now, state your business."

"We wanna see the Wizard!" We all chirped.

The guard nearly fell out of the door in surprise. "The Wizard?" He asked in awe.

We nodded.

"You know, 'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz'?" I half-sung the last part, in case he knew the song.

"But nobody can see The Great Oz!!" He stated.

"Come again?" This didn't look good.

"Nobody has ever seen The Great Oz!" He explained. "Even I've never seen him!"

"Then how do you know there even is one?" I crossed my arms.

"Because he-he, uh...well, you see...erm..." He stumbled.

"Yes?" I smirked.

"Harumph! You're wasting my time!" He huffed, and began to retreat into the door once again.

"No, wait, please!" Me and my big mouth.

He paused and looked back at us.

"Please let us in," I was reduced to begging. "We've come such a long way..." What could I say so he would let us in?

'Wait,' I suddenly remembered a basic law of this place. 'When in doubt, ask-'

"Glinda!" I smiled. "She sent me here!"

"The Good Witch of the North?" The guard's eyes were as big as dinner plates.

"The very same," Tin Man nodded.

Suddenly, the guard narrowed his eyes. "Prove it," He said carefully.

"Um..." Prove it? How could I prove Miss Twinkle Toes sent me here? I doubt she'd come all this way...

'Think, Doe, think!!'

"She's wearing the ruby slippers! Glinda gave them to her!"

I turned to see Scarecrow pointing to my feet.

The guard was straining to see, so I pointed my foot to give him a better look.

"So she is!" He gasped, then laughed. "Well, bust my buttons! Why didn't you say so in the first place?"

I smiled at Scarecrow, then turned back to the guard.

"That's a horse of a different color! Come on in!"

He went back in a final time to open the door.

I walked over to Scarecrow and playfully knocked on his head.

"You sure you don't have a brain? 'Cause that was GENIUS!" I grinned.

"You really think so?" He looked surprised and a little embarrassed.

"Definitely!" I smiled.

I heard a loud creak as the doors opened, and turned around.

"Holy flying shitake mushrooms," I whispered.

The emerald walls and floor of the town glistened and twinkled unbelievably. The buildings were huge and majestic. The people were all wearing green clothes and genuine smiles. In the middle was a carriage being pulled by a white horse. The driver, who looked an awful lot like the guard, was wearing a white and green suit, complete with green top hat.

"Cabby! Cabby here!" He was saying to us as he drove up. He handed me a business card that read 'Official Cabby of the Emerald City' in green, glittery letters. "Take you anyplace in the city, we does!"

"Can you take us to see the Wizard?" I asked, praying he would.

"The Wizard? The Wizard! I can't...well...yes, of course!"

"What? Really?" After the guard's reaction, I was completely expecting more of a 'Not even in your dreams' answer.

"But first, let's take you all somewhere you can tidy up a bit, eh?"

I looked at Scarecrow with straw falling out of him and the burn mark still on his knee, Tin Man's dents and rust stains, Brutus and Lion's ruffled and dirty fur. I gave myself a once over to see my tank top and capris covered with grass stains. My hair probably didn't look much better.

"I think that's just what we need," I laughed as I climbed into the carriage.

As the guys piled in after me, I suddenly noticed the horse.

It was bright purple.

"Okay, I know that horse was white a second ago," I said to the cabby.

"Oh, yes, that horse is never the same shade in the same minute," He explained. "That there is the horse of a different color you've heard tell about."

The cabby as well as the guys all laughed, and as dumb as the pun was, I found myself laughing too.

As I knew it eventually would, the singing started. I didn't have to sing this time, though. Strangely, that disappointed me a little.

"_Ha-ha-ha, ho-ho-ho _

_  
And a couple of tra-la-la's _

_  
That's how we laugh the day away _

_  
In the merry old land of Oz! _

_  
Bzzz-bzzz-bzzz, chirp-chirp-chirp _

_  
And a couple of la-di-da's _

_  
That's how the crickets crick all day _

_  
In the merry old land of Oz!_"

'Really?' I thought to myself. It really wouldn't shock me at this point. There was already a color-changing horse, who was currently bright orange.

"_We get up at twelve and start to work at one _

_  
Take an hour for lunch, and then at two we're done _

_  
Jolly good fun!_"

'Sounds like my kind of workday,' I smiled.

"_Ha-ha-ha, ho-ho-ho _

_  
And a couple of tra-la-la's _

_  
That's how we laugh the day away _

_  
With an AH-ha-ha! _

_  
OH-ho-ho! _

_  
In the merry old land of Oz!_"

We had arrived at a building that was more of a white-green. In silver letters above the door were the words, "Wash and Brush Up Co.". That sounded promising.

We all got out of the horse-drawn carriage (the horse doing the drawing was now a deep blue).

First, three men led Scarecrow into the building. Two more came out for Tin Man. Four ladies led Lion inside (to his equal delight and terror), with a fifth carrying Brutus, and finally, three women led me in.

We passed Scarecrow's room, and I saw him being restuffed and sewn nicely. The men were singing as they did this, of course.

"_Pat-pat here, pat-pat there _

_  
And a couple of brand-new straws _

_  
That's how we keep you young and fair _

_  
In the merry old land of Oz!_"

I heard a loud grinding sound as we approached Tin Man's room, and I was a little worried. But when I could actually see in, I saw he was just being polished. The polishers, naturally, were also singing.

"_Rub-rub here, rub-rub there _

_  
Whether you're tin or bronze _

_  
That's how we keep you in repair _

_  
In the merry old land of Oz!_"

I was finally led to my room, where I saw a big closet of dresses, shoes, and tiaras, and a dresser with hundreds of bottles of nail polish.

Not good.

"_We can make a dimpled smile out of a frown,_" The ladies were singing, sensing my apprehension.

"_Can you even dye my eyes to match my gown?_" I asked-er, sang-this question sarcastically, but the ladies nodded.

"Uh-huh!" They smiled.

"Man, what a town!" I said.

I could hear the Lion's manicurists singing in the next room.

"_Clip-clip here, clip-clip there _

_  
We give the roughest claws_"

Unexpectedly, Lion sang the last part.

"_That certain air of savoir-faire _

_  
In the merry old land of Oz!_"

I heard Brutus bark happily.

I laughed. They seemed to be enjoying themselves.

"So!" One of the beauticians chirped. "What kind of dress would you like?"

"Dress?!" I jumped. I didn't do dresses. "Y-you don't have, like, jeans or anything?"

"Jeans?" The woman looked utterly baffled. She looked to the other beauticians for help, but they all shook their heads, just as confused.

"Y'know, jeans! Like...like these!" I indicated the pants I was wearing.

"Oh, my dear," The woman laughed. "You are to have an audience with the Wizard, yes? You simply cannot wear such plain clothes! You must look your best!"

I bit back a retort, and just sighed. "Alright. But **NO** frills, **NO** sparkles, **NO **bows, **NO** tiaras, **NO** flowers. The most normal dress you have, please."

The beauticians faces had fallen with every '**NO**' I'd said.

"Well," One woman spoke up. "We have that one in the back."

The woman dug all the way to the back of the closet. When she finally emerged, she was holding a plain, white cotton dress with a long-sleeved, sky blue cardigan.

"Perfect," I smiled.

I let the beauticians get away with curling my hair a bit, and even lip gloss. But I refused to have my nails painted, so we compromised and painted them clear. I also refused jewelry.

Finally, they said I was done, and let me look in the mirror.

I was speechless for a full minute.

"This isn't some weird, magic, make-things-prettier-than-they-are mirror, is it?" I finally asked.

The women smiled. "Nope. That's really you, sweetheart."

I looked back. Two long pieces of my dark brown hair were pulled behind me in a small ponytail. The rest of my hair had a slight curl to it. The white dress was a scoop neck and the bottom of the dress came all the way down to my ankles. The cardigan made my arms look slender and crazy long, but in a good way, and the color brought out my blue eyes.

Never, in my entire life, had I ever considered myself pretty. But this girl in the mirror-

She was beautiful.

Can you believe I almost cried? I snapped out of that right away, though, and turned to the women.

"Thank you, girls. I love it, honest," I smiled.

"Don't mention it, honey. It's what we do," Said one of them, and the others nodded in agreement.

"Well, we better get you out there, sugar!" They grabbed me with surprising strength and dragged me towards the doors I'd entered in. "Everyone's waiting!"

"E-everyone? What do you mean, everyone?" I never liked being center stage, but being dressed like this to boot? My stomach was already doing backflips.

I didn't have any time to fight back before the ladies had opened the doors and shoved me outside to my certain doom.

* * *

Scarecrow's P.O.V.

I stepped outside, relishing in the feeling of fresh straw. I felt like a million bucks.

"Hey! Lookin' good!" Shouted Tin Man from across the way.

I walked over to him. "Not bad yourself. Watch that gleam, though" I pretended to shield my eyes.

Tin Man hit me on the arm. "I see you're not a straw-dispenser anymore," He smirked.

"Shut up," I knocked his arm so it echoed, and we laughed.

"Whaddya think? Hmmmmmm?" Lion was asking. He had gotten a perm, and a little red ribbon was tied in a bow on his head.

"I like it!" I smiled at him.

"Ya look good, Lion," Tin Man laughed.

"Aw, shucks," He said modestly.

Brutus barked to get our attention. His coat was nice and shiny, and he sported a green ribbon around his neck.

"Lookin' good, Brutus!" I laughed as I ruffled the fur on the top of his head. He yipped happily.

"Now we're just waiting on Dorothy," Tin Man smiled that knowing smile at me.

"Why do you keep giving me that look every time Dorothy comes up?!" I asked, fed up.

"Good grief," Tin Man shook his head. "We better get you that brain fast, or nothing's ever gonna progress."

Before I could ask more questions I knew he wasn't gonna answer, I heard a loud bang and saw someone being shoved out of the Wash and Brush Up place.

The area cleared so it was just me, Tin Man, and Lion.

I looked to see why it cleared-

And had to remind myself how to stand upright.

Dorothy was...I couldn't think of a good enough word. Stupid brainlessness.

She was stunning, gorgeous-absolutely beautiful. But none of those words did her justice.

She was looking down at her feet, avoiding eye contact with anyone or anything.

"Perfect," smiled Tin Man.

"Dorothy, you look purty as a picture!" Said Lion bluntly.

She smiled at them both, her face turning a little pink. "Uh, thanks, guys."

Suddenly, Tin Man elbowed me hard. "Aren't you gonna say something, Scarecrow?"

Dorothy looked over at me, looking worried, for some reason.

"Uh..." was all I could manage.

"You don't think she looks nice?" Tin Man challenged.

"What?! Of course I-!!!" I burst out, but stopped when I saw Tin Man smirking. I sighed and looked back at Dorothy, who looked quite confused. I took a deep breath.

"Dorothy, you..." I smiled. "You look amazing."

* * *

Doe's P.O.V.

"Uh, thanks, guys," I smiled. I could feel my face growing warm. This is exactly why I don't like being the center of attention. Or dresses.

"Aren't you going to say something, Scarecrow?" Tin Man elbowed him.

I looked over to the scarecrow in question. He looked completely shell-shocked, like someone had slapped him in the face with a fish or something.

"Uh..." He said.

Oh, crap. He didn't like how I looked. I suddenly became very self-conscious. Was it too plain? Should I have worn makeup? Maybe I'm just not meant for dressing up.

"You don't think she looks good?" Tin Man was asking him

"What?! Of course I-!!!" His outburst caught me by surprise.

He sighed before he finished the sentence and turned to me.

'Oh man, oh man, oh man,' I thought as he took a deep breath and got ready to say something. 'This is it. He's gonna tell me how ridiculous I look.'

"Dorothy, you..." He suddenly smiled. Huh?

"You look amazing."

I stood in shock for a full two seconds, not even breathing. 'Amazing?' The word echoed in my head.

I quickly studied my white ballet flats, feeling my face heating up-I was sure it was turning red. Damn fair complexion.

"Um..." I laughed nervously. "Th-thank you, Scarecrow."

"Come on, we got a Wizard to see!" Yelled Lion enthusiastically, breaking the awkward silence. The music started up again.

"_Ha ha ha!_" Tin Man laughed.

"_Ha ha ha!_" Scarecrow laughed.

"_Ha ha ha ha-_" My laughter was cut off by Lion.

"_Ha!_" He laughed loudly.

We linked arms then, and started singing, along with the Emerald City residents.

"_That's how we laugh the day away _

_  
In the merry old land of Oz!_"

We started skipping towards (hopefully) the Wizard as we continued to sing.

"_That's how we laugh the day away _

_  
With an AH ha ha! _

_  
__OH ho ho! _

_  
AH ha ha! _

_  
OH ho ho! _

_  
AH ha ha! _

_  
__OH ho ho! _

_  
In the merry old land of Oz! _

_  
Ha ha-_"

**BOOM!**__

**

* * *

****Oh noes! What is happening? :() lol you probably already know. Next chapter won't be up for at least 2 weeks b/c of the performances and such. Also:**

**IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT**

**Guys, if you story alert, please review, I wanna know what you think! All artists think their work sucks, and I am no exception, so I wanna hear if you guys concur or if you're like "No wai! Ur awesum!!!1!!"  
**


	10. Witches, Wizards, Kings, and Violence

**Don't you wanna read it already, just from the title? XD Anyway, good morrow, dear readers! I have escaped the performance-ALIVE!! Well, barely, but still…**

**mrs. rosey cheeks: Yup, I was in it! Nothing huge, just chorus parts-I was a Munchkin (which made me remember why I hate Munchkinland-my dress was alright, but I had to wear this headband with flowers all over and a bajillion ribbons hanging off it-I looked like a maypole -_-), a sassy, tap-dancin' tree, a singing poppy, a dancer in Merry Old Land of Oz, and a Jitterbug (although my partner was SHITE). It was fun, but exhausting. *flops onto imaginary bed and sleeps for five years*Glad you like! ^_^**

**Babygirl555: Well, they **_**are**_** two teenagers, for all intents and purposes. Doe's a junior in high school, so she's about 16 or 17, and Scarecrow should be a little older than her, but not too much (you're just figuring this out now?). Let's just say however old Doe is, Scarecrow's 6 months older than her (yes I know scarecrows don't age in YEARS, per se, but ****whatever****, hypothetic skeptical reader). And while we're at it, let's say Tin Man is around Scarecrow's age, and Lion is around Dorothy's age. Lion seems like he'd be younger, wouldn't you say? (Isn't that your decision?) Parentheses are the thoughts I think you guys probably have when reading my rantings, by the way, similar to how Natsuki Takaya uses them in **_**Fruits Basket**_** sidebars or, for you non-manga fans, Jim Gaffigan's 'audience' voice.**

**Welp, I'm gonna shut up and let you read, but not before saying there's a cutesy little Doe/Scarecrow part in here. Yay fluff! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: blah blah don't own anything-are these really necessary? Has anyone ever sued a fanfic writer for copyright infringement? Ever? HUH?!? *sigh* Damn corporations...**

**

* * *

**Doe's P.O.V.

**BOOM! **

Everyone screamed, including me, and I looked around to see what had exploded.  
As I looked up, I noticed somebody flying on a broom with smoke billowing behind them.

"Oh man, not her again," I sighed. Brutus growled at the sight of her.

"Who's her?! Who's her?!" Lion was asking frantically.

"Wicked Witch of the West. She's out to get me. She must have followed us here." I said all of this matter-of-factly; I was getting bored and annoyed with this woman.

But when I turned to my friends, I saw that they were shaking.

"Hey, hey, come on, guys! Don't let her scare you!" I tried to comfort them.

"Look!" said Tin Man, pointing up.

I looked where he pointed, and saw that the Witch had written a message in the sky with her smoke.

" 'Surrender Dorothy' " Lion read, sounding petrified.

"Ooo, I'm shakin'," I said sarcastically. "And that's Doe to you, lady!" I shouted after her.

"Dorothy? Who's Dorothy?" Someone in the crowd asked.

"The Wizard will explain it!" Said someone else.

The crowd started running in a certain direction. I was still looking at the smoke message, wondering what on earth was so important about these shoes.

I snapped out of it when Scarecrow grabbed my hand.

"Come on, we better hurry if we're gonna see the Wizard!" He said.

I nodded and we ran with the crowd.

As we got to the largest building in town, I saw another guard. This one was wearing a tall, green, furry hat and furry mittens. Both looked way too big for him. He also had quite the 'stache and carried a large staff.

"Stop!! Stop at once!!" He was saying to the crowd.

"Everything is...all right," He kept stealing nervous glances at the sky message.

"The Great and Power...ful Oz has...matters well in...hand...I hope..."

Was I the only one who heard that last part? Seemed to be, since people began to clear out.

"So, go on home, and there's nothing to worry about..." The guard was saying to the retreating crowd. We stayed put.

"Go home, and...yeah, go home." He began to walk away, when he suddenly noticed us still standing there.

"Didn't you hear me? I said go home!" He said, annoyed.

"That's exactly what I'm trying to do, actually," I said. "That's why I-all of us-we need to see the Wizard right away."

"Orders are, nobody can see the Great Oz, not nobody, not nohow!" The guard barked.

"What? Please, we have to see him, it's really important!" I begged.

"And I got a perm just for the occasion," Offered Lion timidly.

"Not nobody, not nohow!!" The guard repeated loudly.

Brutus barked angrily at the guard.

"But-sir, please-" I had to see this Wizard and get home, but how could this guy let us in?

"But she's Dorothy!"

I looked at Scarecrow questioningly. How would telling him my name help?

But the guard gasped. "The Witch's Dorothy?"

Oh, right! The sky message!

"Just Dorothy, please." I didn't want to be known as that Witch's anything. "But yes, that's me."

He 'humph'd as he considered.

"Well, that makes a difference," He finally said. I hoped it was a good difference.

"Wait here, I'll announce you at once."

With that, he marched into the Wizard's palace.

"Didja hear that?!" Said Lion excitedly when the door shut. "He'll announce us at once!"

"Way to think on your feet, Scarecrow!" I shook his shoulder enthusiastically.

"Well..." He said, as if not sure how to respond. He quickly changed the subject. "I can't wait to get my brain!"

"I can barely feel my heart beating!" Said Tin Man excitedly.

"I'll be home in time for Scrubs!" Kirk and I always watch it together. I hope he isn't too worried about me.

"In another hour, I'll be king of the forest!" Lion exclaimed. "Make room for the king!"

He walked to a raised platform a few feet away as music began to play.

"_If I _

_  
Were king _

_  
Of the forEEEEEEEEEST!_"

I laughed. 'Lion's a riot,' I thought.

"_Not queen _

_  
Not duke _

_  
Not prince _

_  
My regal robes _

_  
Of the forEEEEEEEEEST! _

_  
Would be satin _

_  
Not cotton _

_  
Not chintz_"

Chintz? The hell is chintz? I decided not to think about it too much, and continued to listen.

"_I'd command each thing, be it fish or fowl _

_  
With a rrrrrf! _

_  
And a rrrrrf! _

_  
And a royal growl!_"

At this he tried to growl, but it came out as a tiny 'meow'. We all laughed, until Lion looked regally at us. We pretended to bow our heads in shame. He continued.

"_As I click my heel _

_  
All the trees would kneel! _

_  
And the mountains bow! _

_  
And the bulls kowtow!!!_"

Kowtow? Lion knew some weird words.

He sang the next line as prettily as he could manage.

"_And the sparrow would _

_  
Take wiiiiiiiing! _

_  
'F I _

_  
'F I _

_  
Were kiiiiiiiiiing!_"

We all bowed/curtsied to Lion. Brutus even bowed his head respectfully. I spotted a long rug near the entrance of the Wizard's palace. Scarecrow and I grabbed it and draped it around Lion's shoulders. Tin Man broke an empty flower pot and placed the broken bottom atop Lion's head like a crown.

"_Monarch of all I survey," Lion sang as he was crowned. _

_  
__"Mah-hah-hah-hah-hah-_ha ha ha, awww nuts." He couldn't contain his laughter anymore.

He quickly straightened up after a second and finished singing.

"_If I _

_  
If I _

_  
Were kiiiiiiing!_"

I kneeled down in front of him.

"Your Most Royal Majesty," I had to stifle a laugh myself. "If you were King, you wouldn't be afraid of anything, right?"

"Not nobody, not nohow!" He echoed the guard's words as he stepped off the platform.

"Not even a rhinoceros?" Tin Man asked.

"Impoceros!" Lion waved him off.

"What about a hippopotamus?" Scarecrow piped up.

"Why, I'd trash him from top to bottamus!" Lion stated.

'He's just making up words,' I laughed and rolled my eyes, but was glad about his growing self-esteem.

"Supposing you met an elephant?" I asked next.

"I'd wrap him up in cellophant!" Lion huffed.

"What if it were a brontosaurus?" I smiled.

"I'd show him who was king of the faurus!" He growled.

"How?" We all asked this one.

"How?" Lion asked, as if it were completely obvious. He dropped his cape as he began his speech.

"Courage!" He started. "What makes a man out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave?"

At this he pointed to a green flag I didn't notice before. We all saluted it, then turned our attention back to Lion.

"Courage!" He answered himself. "What makes the elephant charge his tusk, in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk?"

He suddenly smiled. "What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage!"

He went back to his authoritative voice.

"What makes the sphynx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like THUNDER?!?"

I jumped at his sudden volume.

"Courage!" He said normally.

"What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the 'ape' in 'apricot'? Whatta they got that I ain't got?!?"

"Courage," The rest of us answered.

"You can say that again," Lion laughed. Then he realized. "Hey!"

**BANG!**

Lion jumped and his flowerpot crown fell off his head as the doors opened again. I saw the guard come out, and started bouncing up and down on the balls of my feet excitedly. This was it. We were going to see the Wizard. I was going home. Here we go.

"The Wizard says, 'Go away!' !"

* * *

Scarecrow's P.O.V.

"The Wizard says, 'Go away!' !"

Without another word, the Guard turned on his heel and marched back inside. The doors slammed with a resounding **BANG.**

"Go away?" Tin Man, Lion, and myself all repeated. We turned to see if Dorothy was okay.

She was staring at the door, her eyes the tiniest bit shiny, her hands clenched in fists at her sides. Before we could even say anything, she yelled, making us all jump.

"Oh no, you don't!!" She launched herself at the door, punching, pounding, and kicking it as hard as she could.

"You better get your butt back here right now, you stupid, no-good cretin!!" She kicked the door, and I actually saw some paint chips fly off. Brutus whimpered.

"We came all the way from freakin' Munchkinland just to see this stupid Wizard guy!! Tell him I'm gonna whoop his ass!! My friends just want to be whole, and I NEED TO GET HOME!!" She actually banged her shoulder against the door a few times, as if she was going to break it down, before resuming pounding it.

"My brother Kirk is waiting for me!!!" She was full-out screaming now. "He's probably worried sick!! He might think I'm dead!!! Do you have any idea how much that would destroy him?!?!? **I'M ALL HE HAS, YOU WORTHLESS SCUMBAG!!!!!!!**"

Dorothy banged the door one more time with her fist before she slid down the door and just sat there, shaking. Whether from rage or from sobs, I couldn't tell.

I was completely floored, as were the rest of us. We really shouldn't have been, though. Here we all thought Dorothy wanted to get home simply because she was homesick. But, no-she needed to get home because her brother needed her home. I started to wonder if Dorothy ever thought of herself.

I walked over to Dorothy then and knelt down beside her. She had her head down, trying to hide her face with her hair. But I saw one glistening tear fall onto her dress.

"Dorothy?" I put my hand on her shoulder, and she finally looked up.

"Sorry about all that," She nodded towards the door, which had a few dents and was missing quite a lot of paint.

"No, no, I don't care about that," I shook my head. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah, I'm..." She took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm fine."

But even as she said it, tears started trailing down her face.

"Aw, please don't cry, Dorothy."

I brushed the tears away with two cloth thumbs.

Dorothy blinked a little, then smiled. "Thank you, Scarecrow. No one's ever been this nice to me before."

What? How could someone not be nice to her? She was sweet, caring, compassionate-

"Don't worry, Dorothy!" I jumped at Tin Man's voice. I'd forgotten the other guys were there. "We'll get you in to see the Wizard!"

"We sure will!" Lion added. "Make Dorothy cry, why, I oughta..." He 'rrrrf'd at the door.

She beamed at all of us. "You guys are the best friends in the world, ya know that?"

She sighed. "I'm so worried about Kirk..." I could see more tears brewing. Before I could say anything, another voice beat me to it.

"Pl-please don't cry anymore!!"

We all looked up in shock. There was a little door on the big door where the guard was peeking out. He was crying so much his mustache was dripping.

"I'll get you in to see the Wizard somehow!" He wept.

"Wh-what? You will?" Dorothy quickly brushed the tears from her eyes and stood up.

"I had a brother Kirk myself once!" He bawled as he retreated back in to open the door.

* * *

**Aaand cut! ^_^ God, Doe's angry ramble was hard to write-expressing emotions without looking wussy-gah! But it turned out well-right? **

**Yenta: *peeks in from stage right* Of course right!**

**Me: Thanks Yenta! :D**

**Yenta: No problem, dear. Now, Yenta gets you a husband, yes?**

**Me: Eeehm…don't be shy, readers! Leave a review, even if it's short! Gotta go! *runs from Yenta, who chases after her, listing good qualities of my new husband***


	11. The Great and Powerful JerkOff of Oz

**Hey, hey, hey! Well, this is it-meeting the Wizard. Let's get it on!**

**JaredMilne1982: Well, Kirk **_**was**_** all she had in the world, anyway-now she has her three lurvely friends. And omg, another person who makes "The More You Know" jokes! I make those all the time and people are just like, "What?" Kowtow, that's my new insult. "You're such a kowtower!" XD Thanks for reviewing as always!**

**mrs. rosey cheeks: Well, my story has set its facebook status to "It's complicated", so that's a step, right? Yeah I didn't like how Dorothy just bitched and moaned and that got her in. And Scarecrow doesn't necessarily have to be human to be with Doe. Well, if you mean in **_**that way**_** then yeah, I guess, but…**

**Disclaimer: Y'know what? There's disclaimers in my other chapters-go look at 'em, ya lazy copyright bum!**

**Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**Dorothy's P.O.V.

The doors slowly creaked open to reveal a long hallway that curved near the end.

I quickly wiped my face of the remnants of the most embarrassing moment of my life. I never cry, especially in front of other people. I felt vulnerable.

But...the guys weren't freaked out by it. They didn't run away, or look down on me. Scarecrow even wiped my tears away.

They really were the most amazing friends.

I looked back at them, and saw them waiting for me. Maybe they thought I was gonna break down again or something.

No way. Never again.

"Well, what're we waiting for?" I brought the cheer back into my voice.

I hooked arms with Scarecrow and Lion, smiling. They seemed to finally take the hint that I didn't want to talk about that incident.

Tin Man hooked arms with Lion, and we all stepped into the hallway.

Unfortunately, the guard had insisted that no dogs were allowed, so poor Brutus had to wait outside.

As we walked, Lion started shaking more and more. When we were about halfway down the hallway, he suddenly spoke.

"H-Hey fellas," His voice shook and he stuttered. "I was just thinkin'...I r-really don't want to see the Wizard th-that much...I better wait for ya outside!"

He turned to run for it, but we all grabbed him and hauled him back.

"Come on, Lion," said Tin Man. "Don't you know the Wizard's going to give you some courage?"

"I'd be t-too scared to ask for it!!" He wept.

"Well..then we'll ask him for you." I patted Lion's shoulder.

"Right, guys?" They nodded. Lion still shook, but started slowly walking forward, wringing his tail nervously.

All of a sudden, he yelped, causing the rest of us to jump. He started running away again, but we pulled him back.

"What? What happened?" asked Scarecrow.

"Somebody pulled my tail!!!" Lion sobbed.

Scarecrow rolled his eyes. "You did it yourself," he said, indicating that Lion was holding his tail.

"An-wait a-wha...oh..." Lion dropped his tail.

I couldn't help chuckling, but the truth is, I was pretty scared too.

We all hooked arms again and kept walking. As we approached the entryway to the Wizard's room, we heard a spooky, low groan.

"Tell me when it's over!" Lion shut his eyes tight.

We finally entered the room. It was large and spacious, with a huge platform-almost a small stage-in the middle. Everything echoed creepily, even just our footsteps.

Suddenly, there was a loud burst of smoke and fire, and we all jumped back, Lion weeping outright now.

A huge, green, menacing head appeared above the stage and glared at us.

"**I AM OZ, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL!!!!**" It boomed.

'No shit, Sherlock,' I thought, but was too scared to say it. This guy looked like he could chew me up and spit me out in two seconds.

"**WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!?**" It asked.

I turned to the guys and nodded, saying, 'I got this' with my eyes.

I took a deep breath and stepped up.

"Hello, Your Excellency. We've heard so much about you and your amazing powers."

When the Wizard didn't shoot me with fire as I expected he might, I continued.

"My name is Dorothy, and these are my friends, Scarecr-"

"**SILENCE!!!!!!**" He shouted as smoke bombs went off.

I jumped and ran back over to the guys. "Jesus Christ!" I whispered. Temper much?

"**THE GREAT OZ KNOWS WHO YOU ARE AND WHY YOU HAVE COME.**" He informed us. He was still booming, but at least he wasn't shouting anymore.

"**STEP FORWARD, TIN MAN!!**"

Spoke too soon.

Tin Man looked at us, scared. We nodded and patted him on the back, telling him we were right behind him.

He stepped forward, his knees shaking and his body clanking as it shook with fear.

"**YOU DARE TO COME TO ME FOR A HEART, DO YOU?!?!?**" He boomed. "**YOU CLINKING, CLANKING, CLATTERING COLLECTION OF CALLIGINOUS JUNK!!!!**"

I glared at this Wizard guy. 'Say that again, punk. I dare ya.'

But Tin Man was too scared to defend himself. "Y-yes, Your Honor," He nodded. "You see, a while back, we were walking down the Yellow Brick Road, and, ah-"

"**QUIET!!!!!**" He shouted as fire spouted up. Tin Man yelled and ran back to us.

"**AND YOU, SCARECROW!!!**"

Scarecrow looked at us. We nodded, and I shook his shoulder and tried my best to give him an encouraging smile.

He stumbled and fumbled up closer to the Wizard, tripping near the end and landing on his knees. He bowed to the ground as the Wizard roared at him.

**"YOU HAVE THE AFFRONTARY TO ASK FOR A BRAIN, YOU BILLOWING BALE OF BOVINE FODDER?!?!?!?!?**"  
'Oh, it's on, big guy,' I thought as I stepped forward to teach this guy a lesson with my fists as the primary instructors.

But Tin Man put a hand on my shoulder and gave me a look. I suddenly realized and stepped back. We were lucky this guy was talking to us at all. If there's any chance of us getting our wishes, we need to be as respectful as possible.

No matter how much of an asshole he is.

Scarecrow must have realized this too, since he was fumbling over what to call the Wizard.

"Y-Yes, Your Honor! I mean, Your Excellency! I mean, uh, Your Wizardry!" He bowed low again.

The Wizard just shot the flame pillars up again, which of course frightened Scarecrow considerably, and he ran back to us.

"**AND YOU, LION!!!**"

Lion jumped and tried to run, but we caught him and shoved him forward, encouraging him all the way. He finally faced the Wizard, shaking violently.

"**WELL?!?!?!?!?**" The Wizard roared.

Without a word, Lion fell straight back and fainted.

"Holy shit!!" I yelled, running over to him. That fall could have cracked his skull!

I quickly felt the back of his head to see if he was bleeding (he wasn't) and put my ear to his chest to make sure his heartbeat was regular (it was-well, it was a little fast of course, but otherwise fine).

After he checked out, I turned to the Wizard, furious. I forgot all about the 'respect' thing.

"What the hell's the matter with you?! You scared him half to death-literally-when he just came to you for help! Get outta your castle more often and learn some damn social skills!"

"**SILENCE, WHIPPERSNAPPER!!!!**" He boomed.

Whippersnapper? What is this, the 30's?

"**THE BENEVOLENT OZ HAS EVERY INTENTION OF GRANTING YOUR REQUESTS!!**"

Wait...what?

"Huh? What he say? Huh? Huh? What he say?" Lion woke up and voiced all our thoughts. We helped him up and smiled at the Wizard.

"**BUT FIRST, YOU MUST PERFORM A SMALL TASK.**" He said.

"How small?" I asked suspiciously. I knew this would come with strings attached.

"You name it, and it's half done!" Tin Man quickly said over me.

"**BRING ME THE BROOMSTICK OF THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST!!**"

I stood speechless for a moment, as did the rest of us.

"Are you freakin' kidding me?!?" I finally managed.

"B-b-but if we did that," Scarecrow spoke up. "we'd have to kill her to get it!"

"**BRING ME HER BROOMSTICK, AND I'LL GRANT YOUR REQUESTS.**" He apparently didn't care about our deaths.

"**NOW GO!**" He ordered.

"But," said Lion, who was still a little dazed. "But what if she kills us first?"

"**I SAID GO!!!!**' The Wizard bellowed.

Lion yelped and ran out of the room. Scarecrow and Tin Man followed.

"Don't think you've heard the last of us, Baldy," I said as I ran out.

I turned the corner just in time to see Lion running full speed toward a window.

Unexpectedly, he jumped through the window, breaking the glass and tumbling down.

I gasped loudly. "Holy mother of-!!!"

I ran to the window, avoiding the jagged edges, and peered down, looking around frantically.

"LION!!" I shouted down, fearing the worst.

I then spotted him below. He was running around in circles, and I could still hear him wailing.

I laughed, shaking my head. I'd forgotten about cats always landing on their feet.

I turned to Scarecrow and Tin Man then, and raised my eyebrows as I caught sight of the musket in Scarecrow's hand.

"Where did-What's that for?" I asked Scarecrow, pointing at it.

"Well, we're not gonna face the Wicked Witch empty-handed!" He said, as if it were obvious.

" 'We'?" I asked.

"Yes, we. We're all going-even Lion. Even if we have to drag him." Tin Man stated. I noticed he was holding his axe as well as a large net.

"But-"

"Dorothy, we don't care how dangerous it is, you are not-I repeat, ARE NOT-facing the Wicked Witch by yourself. We wouldn't hear of it."

"We sure wouldn't!" Agreed Scarecrow.

"But-!"

"No more 'but's!" Said Tin Man authoritatively. "We're all going, and that's final!"

I scowled. "If you guys get hurt-"

"We won't. We'll all look out for each other. That's what friends do, right?" Scarecrow smiled.

I slowly smiled back. "Yeah. You're right."

I happily hooked arms with the two. "Well, let's get Lion and saddle up."

I couldn't help an evil smile from creeping up.

"Gentlemen, we're going witch hunting."

* * *

**And that's all she wrote…for now anyway. :) Yeah, not much happened in this chapter-and it's short. *sigh* But next up is the creepy haunted forest. *makes wavy hand motions* oooOOOOooooooOOOOO!**


	12. Spooks

**And you people thought I updated fast. *shakes head and laughs at your silliness***

**But good news-drumroll please! *drumroll* THE FIRST DRAFT OF THIS STORY IS FINISHED! *gets out curly party favor and blows it out happily* **

**Of course, those chapters aren't nearly ready to be posted yet-as any author will tell you, writing is rewriting. They still need A LOT of editing. But it's still a huge relief to have them all written out. AND! I can tell you that this story will have, in all, 21 chapters! *this suddenly sinks in* 21 chapters…*flops down on bed and dies***

**Anyway, this chapter's kiiiiiinda filler-*dodges objects being thrown at her* but important stuff happens too!! I promise!!**

**Babygirl555: Forgot to answer your last review, sorry! I did know some of the lines by heart, since I was in the play and had to hear them over and over AND OVER (case in point: Merry Old Land of Oz), but most of the time I use this site where someone posted the whole script of the Wizard of Oz, which is pretty epic. **

**Um…if by 'writing power' you mean a computer and an ADD brain, I can give you one of those things, but the other one you really don't want. Trust me. And well…you'll just have to find out, won't you? ;)**

**mrs. rosey cheeks: Here's hoping, but you know how fickle stories can be. *rolls eyes and sighs***

**GothicWolfGirl652: Who cares if you're descriptive or questionative?! WAHOO, NEW REVIEWER!! *does spazzerific cheerleader moves* Clueless couples are the best, amiright? Thanks for the luv!**

**Disclaimer: See previous chapters.**

**Enjoy!**

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Doe's P.O.V.

We had been walking west for a long time-it was night by now. I figured that was the way, her being the Wicked Witch of the West and all.

The creepy forest we were walking in currently was a sure sign we were headed in the right direction. Poor Lion had been whimpering since we'd told him we were going after the Witch, and he hadn't stopped since.

I couldn't really blame him-the crows and owls we'd hear every so often were pretty creepy.

One crow landed on Lion and 'caw'ed loudly right in his face. Lion screamed bloody murder as he shook the crow off and ran for his life. We quickly caught him and waited till he calmed down a bit.

"Come on, Lion," I gave him a pep talk. "There's nothing to be scared of!"

"Easy for you to say!" Lion wailed. "You're Dorothy! You're not afraid o' nothin'!"

"What? Of course I'm afraid of stuff!"

"Oh, yeah? Like what? You faced the Witch and the Wizard without blinkin' an eye! What could you be afraid of?"

I turned to see Scarecrow and Tin Man listening eagerly.

I sighed. "Alright, fine, I'll tell you. But you're gonna think it's stupid."

They just stared at me, urging me to continue.

I mouthed it.

"What?" Tin Man asked.

"...bss" I mumbled.

"What'd she say?" Scarecrow asked Lion, who shrugged.

"BEES, ALRIGHT?!? Bees, I'm scared of bees!" I covered my face in embarrassment.

"Oh, I hate bees!" Lion agreed. "They're all like "BZZZZZZ" and then they sting ya and it hurts!"

"I know, right?" I stopped and cleared my throat. "You see? Everyone's afraid of something! Don't be so ashamed of being scared."

Lion smiled. "Thanks, Dorothy."

"Don't mention it." I smiled.

We had come to a sign, made of decaying wood and written in red paint (at least, I hoped it was paint).

" 'I'd turn back if I were you' " Lion read. He nodded, and proceeded to turn around and march off.

But Scarecrow and Tin Man ran over, catching him by the arms and lifting him back over to us. Lion's feet were still running, even though they weren't on the ground.

We continued to walk. At one point, we heard a rustle in the bushes, and Lion screamed.

"Lion, it's okay," I tried my best to comfort him. "It was probably just an owl."

"Or some sp-spooks!" Lion shook.

"Spooks? You don't mean ghosts, do you?" I couldn't help the skeptical tone creeping in.

We suddenly heard a moan, followed by some high-pitched wailing. Brutus barked in the direction of the noises, while Lion wrung his tail and sobbed.

"Maybe there really are spooks 'round here!" Scarecrow said as he looked around.

Before I could even comment, Tin Man beat me to it.

"That's ridiculous! Spooks!" He scoffed. "That's silly!"

"I have to agree with Tin Man," I nodded.

"Y-you don't believe in sp-spooks?!" Lion asked, still wringing his tail.

"Nope, sure don't," I stated plainly.

"Only fools believe in spooks!" Tin Man scoffed.

Ok, that might have been taking it a little too far.

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind started to blow. Before I could even question it, I felt myself flying into the air. But not by the wind-it felt more like...someone was pulling me up. But there was no one there, how could that be?

"Dorothy! Tin Man!"

Tin Man had gone up too?

I felt someone pulling me down then. I looked to see that Scarecrow had grabbed my ankle with one hand and a tree with the other to keep himself from blowing away. I didn't see Lion or Tin Man, and that worried me.

As unexpectedly as it had started, it stopped. The wind died down, and I felt whatever was pulling me let go.

You'd think I'd be grateful, but that also meant I was plummeting towards the ground at an alarming speed.

I closed my eyes and braced myself for impact with the hard ground.

Instead, I felt myself fall on something light and slightly scratchy. Confused, I opened my eyes.

I was shocked to see Scarecrow had caught me-bridal style, no less.

"Good catch," I chuckled. For a guy so uncoordinated, it really was.

Scarecrow laughed, but his face quickly turned serious. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." I assured him. I looked up at the trees, wondering how I could have flown up like that.

I looked back down and practically found myself nose-to-nose with Scarecrow. I hadn't realized how close in proximity we were till then.

He quickly put me back down. I don't know what his expression was, but I knew I was beet red.

**CLANG!!**

I turned my head to see Tin Man do a bellyflop onto the ground.

"Oh, crap!" I said as I rushed over to him. "You okay? That looked like it hurt!"

"Nah, not really," He tried to shake it off, but he was obviously freaked out.

We could hear Lion chanting, "I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do!"

We walked over to him and hooked arms yet again.

"From now on, no one even mentions spooks. Agreed?"

"Agreed!" The guys chorused.

And with that we continued through the forest.

* * *

Third Person P.O.V.

The Witch had been watching the four through her crystal ball all the while.

"So, Little Miss Sass is afraid of bees, eh?" The Witch laughed in delight. "This will be easier than I thought."

She walked over to her Shelf of Evil™ and took a huge jar of bees off of it with some effort.

"Now listen," She addressed them. "You must go to those insufferable four and be as frightening as possible. Use your stingers as you please with the boys, but the girl is not to be touched-yet." She smiled evilly and the bees buzzed with laughter. "Do you understand me?"

The bees nodded.

"Then fly!!" She opened the jar and the bees poured out the window.

"Soon those ruby slippers will be mine! Mine!!!" She cackled.

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**Alright! Next chapter will be action-packed...with action! Yeah, get excited. Reviewness!**


	13. Bees!

**Hey, I'm back! I was on spring break and couldn't upload anything. *sadness* But now I can, so here I am! I considered doing the Jitterbugs-I do love that song-but it just seemed really cheesy in this story context. So bees it is!  
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**Babygirl555: Aw, you flatter me. You're wrong, but you flatter me. I did mention it before, but I was just in various background parts (talking tree, Ozian, etc.) Who doesn't love a bit of romance, sez I. ;)**

**mrs. rosey cheeks: Good filler? I think the world is about to explode! Anyway, wait no longer, dear reader!**

**GothicWolfGirl652: If you're referring to the chapter, then yeah, it kinda was. Sorry 'bout that. But this one's longer and action-y! If you're referring to your review, who cares how short it was? Reviews are reviews and reviews are luv! 3 I'm grateful for every review I get!**

**grizZlyangel: First off: NEW REVIEWER WAAH!! *dons cheerleader outfit and does a flip-flop* I can't actually do one of those, but I really wish I could. Technically, it's Scarecrow/Doe action. It's hard for me to associate pigtailed, blubbering Dorothy with kickass and sarcastic Doe. Yeah, I just don't like the character of Dorothy in the movies, if you couldn't already tell. ^^; Carried away? That happens to me all the time! :D I definitely didn't just sound like that Progressive commercial. And puppy dog eyes could never freak me out, no matter how big. Now Lady Gaga, SHE freaks me out. Thanks for reviewing! Oh yeah, I love your icon! "They're **_**schemers**_**. Schemers trying to control their little worlds."**

**Alright, fasten your seatbelts, cause here we go! I really shouldn't be psyching you up like this, in case it's not unbelievably action-y like I think it is-**

**Readers: GET ON WITH IT!!!**

**Okay okay! Don't hurt me!**

**Disclaimer: I'm out of funny disclaimers, see the previous chapters.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Doe's P.O.V.

"It sure is getting dark."

I turned to Lion sympathetically.

"I know, but we have to keep going. Besides, I wouldn't feel safe sleeping in this forest."

Lion jumped in realization. "I-I never thoughta that." He resumed wringing his tail.

We had reached a bleak-looking river. I was about to jump across when Tin Man suddenly interjected.

"Hey, do you guys hear something?" He had stopped to listen.

"I stopped listening. This forest makes a million creepy noises a second," I admitted.

"But this is different. It sounds like...buzzing."

"Buzzing?" I hadn't heard any buzzing sounds yet. I stood still and listened for a moment.

"I hear it too!" Said Scarecrow.

"Me too," I said, confused. "And...is it getting louder?"

"Uh, g-g-guys?" Lion stuttered.

We turned to him. "You hear it too, Lion?" Tin Man asked.

Lion was shaking too much to speak. He just pointed ahead of him and slightly up with one shivering finger.

The rest of us followed the direction he was pointing.

I didn't even have a witty exclamation-I just gasped.

There was what appeared to be a huge, black cloud moving towards us. But it wasn't a normal cloud, obviously. It was where the buzzing was coming from. I knew that buzz all too well.

"BEES!!!" Lion and I screamed in unison.

"Look out, you two!!" Tin Man yelled.

I dove behind a tree just as the cloud came in.

The bees still came at me from all directions.  
I screamed an embarrassing high-pitched scream as the unbelievably loud buzzing filled my ears and I felt a million wings slap my face and arms.

"AAAAAAH!! GET AWAY,GET AWAY!! STOP IT!!!" I screamed.

I could vaguely hear my other friends shouting over the buzzing.

I ran and ran, but the bees were everywhere, and so was that awful buzzing-I was absolutely surrounded by the terrifying noise.

'Wait,' I realized. 'Shouldn't they be stinging me? Not that I want them to, but...bees don't just fly around and be scary without stinging. Unless...'

And then it hit me.

Goddamn Witch.

"THAT'S LOW!!!" I yelled. I knew she'd hear me-she must have already heard me admit my fear.

I looked past the cloud to see that Lion had abandoned his huge net on the ground.

Lightbulb.

"HEY LOOK!! NECTAR!!!" I yelled. The bees around me turned and went into the direction I pointed.

I hesitated, before sprinting into the huge vortex of bees.

I felt a few sharp twangs of pain as I got stung but kept going, grabbing the net.

I hoped it was big enough.

I took one more deep breath, then ran headlong forward, the net high above my head.

I could feel bees start to fill up the net, and a few stings on my back from the protesting ones, but kept running.

The net was getting heavier and heavier-I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep this up. But the cloud was thinning, and I kept up hope.

Finally the last bee made it into the net. I was reduced to dragging it now, keeping it closed with both hands.

As quickly as I could, I made my way over to the river. The bees were using their stingers as knives to try to get out.

Damn Oz's intelligent animals!

I made it right when I thought they were going to break through. My hands were on fire from stings, and I knew I wouldn't be able to keep a strong grip for long.

With a grunt, I hauled the net from behind me and shoved it down in the water.

The splashes from the bees' frantic attempt to escape nearly drenched me, but I held the net tightly.

Finally, the splashes died down, and soon they stopped altogether.

I felt victory and relief, but dread at the same time. I had just committed mass murder. Yes, it was self-defense, and yes, they weren't human beings, but still...

"Wow, Dorothy, that was amazin'!"

I turned to get a good look at the guys. Scarecrow and Tin Man were stung pretty bad, but being made of straw and tin, weren't all that affected. They were already picking stingers off of themselves.

Lion, on the other hand, although he had talked, was stung unbelievably badly, mostly on his face.

"Oh my god, Lion!!" I ran over to him. "Jesus, you look like a pincushion!"

He started to pick off a stinger.

"Nononono!!" I pulled his hand away. "If you pick it off, you squeeze more venom in!"

Scarecrow and Tin Man suddenly stopped picking and looked at each other.

"You guys are fine," I added. "But I need a card or something, something stiff."

I suddenly remembered the business card that cabby had given us. I took it out.

"This may hurt a little," I said apologetically to Lion as I began scraping the stingers off with the side of the card.

I suddenly heard a sniffing sound. I looked over my shoulder to see Tin Man crying as he looked in the river.

"Tin Man, no, you'll rust!" I protested, but Scarecrow was already working on him with the oilcan.

"What's wrong?" I asked Tin Man.

"It-It's just-those poor little bees..." Tin Man said a little shakily.

My guilt intensified. "I know, Tin Man. I didn't like kill-killin-doing that." I couldn't even bring myself to say it. "But we had no choice-we had to protect ourselves."  
I sounded like I was just making an excuse. "Besides," I added. "those bees were the Witch's slaves. They're in a better place now."

"You think so?" Tin Man wiped his eyes.

"I know so. It's filled with nectar and flowers and the biggest beehives in the world." I smiled.

He looked at the river, than back over at me.

"You're right." He took a deep breath and composed himself. "It's hardly anything to cry over. That would be silly."

"It's not silly! Only a guy with a heart of gold would cry over a little bee," I nodded.

"But... I don't even have a heart, much less a golden one." Tin Man looked completely thrown.

I sighed. Clueless. I hoped the Wizard would tell him. "Forget it." I turned back to Lion and continued to pick the stingers off with the business card.

"How did you know about picking the stingers off?" Tin Man asked curiously.

"I learned it from-" I stopped dead as I remembered. "My...dad."

"Your dad? You never mentioned your old man!" Lion winced as I scraped another stinger off.

"Well, um..." I struggled for the right words. "He's...uh...not...currently alive." I never like using the 'D' word.

"Oh..." Lion looked awkward, as did Scarecrow and Tin Man. I needed to make a subject change, fast.

"So, uh, how did you get all these stings, anyway?"

"Oh, you should have seen it!!" Scarecrow cut in. "As soon as we saw what you were doing with the net, Lion ran around, distracting the other bees and leading a good amount of them right into the net! He ran right into the biggest cloud once!"

"Woah, really?" I smiled at Lion. "See? You do have courage!"

"Nuh-uh," Lion shook his head, causing a few stingers to fly off. "I was terrified the whole time!"

"But that's what courage is, silly!"

Lion looked at me like I had three heads, so I explained.

"Courage means you face the problem in spite of your fear, not that you're never afraid. Everyone's afraid of something, but the courageous people face their fears even though they're scared silly."

Lion still looked like he was processing that, so I scraped the last stinger off of him and turned to Scarecrow and Tin Man.

"Everyone ready?"

The two nodded.

"Then let's go get that Witch!" I held my arms out to link arms.

"Dorothy!" Scarecrow jumped and pointed at my hand.

Confused, I looked at it and saw a very large stinger sticking out of the back of my right hand.

"How did I not feel that?" I asked myself. I got the card out again to scrape it off.

"Here, let me do it," Scarecrow offered.

"Nah, I got it," I assured him.

"You sure you can do it with your left hand?"

...Crap.

I sighed and handed the card to Scarecrow. "OK, you can do it."

He chuckled as he took the card.

Gently, he took my hand with one of his big cloth ones. With the other, he quickly but carefully brushed the card so the stinger came off.

I winced a little. It didn't hurt as much as I was expecting it to, but it still stung a little (hardy har).

"I'm sorry, did that hurt?" He asked, true concern in his voice.

"A little," I admitted. "But thank you."

"Not at all." He smiled, and I couldn't help but smile back.

That's when we both noticed we were still, essentially, holding hands. We released our hands at exactly the same time, and, in an attempt to hide my blush, I looked to my other side.

Big mistake-Tin Man was smirking at me, his arms crossed and a knowing smile on his face.

"Shut up," I mouthed to him, and he snorted.

"So, uh," I cleared my throat. "We ready to go?"

"If you and Scarecrow are," Tin Man smirked again. I shoved him.

"We're off to get the Witch!" I exclaimed.

All of us laughed.

I hooked arms with Scarecrow and Lion, who hooked arms with Tin Man, and we pressed on through the forest.

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Third Person P.O.V.

"So, the little brat wants to kill me?" The Witch cackled. "Many have tried, girly, and most were far more qualified than you and your bumbling friends!"

She paced. "I can't believe she destroyed my bees so easily, though."

The Witch shook her head. "No matter. I'll just have to send the best I have."

She called out the doorway. "Nikko! Nikko, come before me immediately!"

As the Witch knew she would, she heard Nikko's wings fly up the corridor as soon as the words were out of her mouth. Once he came in the door, he went on the ground, ambled over, and hugged her hand as if she were his mother.

"There's the Commander of my Flying Monkey Army," She cooed as she patted the top of his head. "I have a special mission for you."

He jumped up and down, excited, and listened to the Witch with eager eyes.

"I need you to bring me that insufferable girl and her equally nauseating little dog," She explained. "Do what you'd like with the other three bumblebrains, but that girl and her dog must be alive and unharmed. And take extra care of those ruby slippers. Do you understand, Nikko?"

He nodded and jabbered excitedly.

"Then gather your army and fly into the sky!!"

Nikko immediately went to the window and screeched loudly. More screeches followed, and soon the whole army was visible against the moon.

Nikko saluted the Witch before flying off to lead the monkeys.

"This time, I will not fail!" The Witch cackled as she made her way out of the room.

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**Oooo, spooky! Anyway, coming up, more action and lots of drama! Ya don't wanna miss this one, folks! R&R is much appreciated! **


	14. Flying Monkeys?

**Heloooooo Nurse!! Animaniacs-lulz. So Chapter 14 has lots of drama and "Oh noes!" moments. Fun times, right? But first, reviewer feedback!**

**griZzlyAngel: Sup, brah. *jerks chin upwards while maintaining stony face* Yeah, I don't like killing bugs either, but anything with a stinger can hurt me, so I consider that self-defense. I guess I could see how one would be okay w/ bees-they don't really sting unless provoked. Wasps and hornets are just evil, though-they'll sting you for no reason. *shudder* Yeah, poor Lion-I felt bad for turning him into a pincushion. ^_^; Doe/Scarecrow is always good, amiright? Hope I've made **_**your**_** day more splendiferous with this chapter!**

**Babygirl555: Yes, bees can make things very bad, very fast. Personal experience. Dunkin' Donuts trip turned into sad time. And yes, Scarecrow is getting quite bold, isn't he? (Except not really. Not at all actually. Neither of them are. *sigh*) Thx for reviewing!**

**JaredMilne1982: Welcome back, dearie! Haven't seen ya for three chapters! XD Yeah, I wanted to give Lion a moment, since he's shoved aside so often in the movie. And spunky is my favorite word ever, and it perfectly describes Doe. But you also bring up a point I want to establish-DOE IS NOT ME. I don't place myself in my stories-I'm not interesting enough. While Doe and I are similar in a few ways (sarcasm for one) she and I are very different. For example, Doe has a short fuse, whereas I am much more mellow. *levitates in meditation pose* Ooohmmmmm. Anyway, hope you enjoy!**

**GothicWolfGirl652: Yes, it is kind of an 'aw' moment, isn't it. And no, no he isn't. I think Tin Man's just amused by their cluelessness, as anyone would be if they were in this sitcheeation. There's even more, action, plus drama, in this chapter, so I hope you love this one too!**

***taps music stand and addresses orchestra* Alright boys, get ready to play that "Bum bum buuuuuuuum!!" music, 'cause it comes up a lot in this one!**

**Enjoy!**

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**Doe's P.O.V.**  
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Still walking. No wonder no one ever went to see the Witch-she was too damn far away!

I heard Lion yawn.

I shook his shoulder a little. "C'mon, Lion, you've got to stay awake. Who knows what crazy trick the Witch might pull next? We have to stay alert."

"You mean, she's got more tricks besides the bees?" Lion was suddenly awake.

I rolled my eyes. "The Witch, twisted and green as she may be, is still a woman. And women bent on revenge will do absolutely anything. Add in her weirdo powers, and the fact that she hates me as much as I hate her-"

Lion nodded in understanding. "I'll stay awake."

"Smart man," I nodded.

"Hey, I hear some more crows!" Scarecrow suddenly said.

"But that's impossible," I said. "It's late, they'd all be asleep."

But I listened anyway.

And I did hear a sound. But it didn't sound like crows. It was screeching of some kind, yes, but not a crow.

"I hear something, but I don't think it's a crow." I said.

"But look!" Scarecrow pointed. "There's a whole flock of 'em!"

I glanced up and did see something with wings flying towards us. But these things looked...almost human, but not quite. As they got a little closer, I saw they had hair all over their bodies.

No, it couldn't be.

"Flying monkeys?" I asked myself out loud.

Tin Man gasped, and I looked over at him. "What?"

"The Wicked Witch of the West has an army of flying monkeys," He informed me. "They're said to be the fiercest, meanest creatures in all of Oz!"

Lion began to sob, and I looked up at the army getting closer and closer.

"Dorothy, hide behind a tree or something!" Scarecrow ordered.

"No way! These guys are after me, I'm not gonna let them hurt you guys in the process."

I stepped in front of the guys just as the monkeys were about to come at us.

"You wanna dance, fuzzballs?" I challenged them.

Four came at me at once.

I wasn't prepared for that, but managed to kick two off. Two were still grabbing my arms.

I suddenly remembered something I saw all the time in cartoons.

I struggled to grab the two monkeys' heads, and bashed them together. They fell to the ground, unconscious.

'I can't believe that worked!' I smiled.

But more were coming at me, so I didn't have time to celebrate my victory.

I ran into the thick trees, dodging the hands (and sometimes feet) trying to grab me.

I looked for the guys. Tin Man was doing fine, swinging his axe to scare the monkeys away. Lion was surrounded by monkeys, who were taunting and screeching at him, laughing when he got scared.

'Wrong move, buckos.'

I grabbed a huge branch and snuck up behind the circle of monkeys.

"Lion, duck!" I yelled.

I swung the branch straight through the circle, hitting all of them and throwing them a few yards away.

Lion was on the ground, his hands over his head.

"I got 'em, Lion, they're gone," I smiled as I helped him up.

"Th-thanks." He was still shaking, but looked better.

'So that's Tin Man, Lion-'

A huge jolt of fear went through me as I remembered who I'd forgotten.

"Where's Scarecrow?!" I frantically asked Lion.

Lion's eyes widened and he looked around. He suddenly jumped. "There!" He pointed.  
I looked to see him pointing to a circle of monkeys a few feet away. All I could see was them jumping up and down, laughing in delight-

And straw flying.

'Oh no, oh no-no-no-no-no!' I thought as I rushed towards them, branch in hand.

"Get your filthy paws off him!!" I screamed.

Unfortunately, the branch I'd used had snapped off some when I'd launched the other monkeys, but it was still a decent weapon. I blocked the monkey's attacks with it, then kicked or punched to bring them down.

I finally got through to Scarecrow, and gasped in horror.

Parts of him were strewn all over the place-a leg here, an arm there-and straw was everywhere. It looked like a murder scene.

Wait-were Scarecrow's eyes open?

"Dorothy!" He said.

"Scarecrow? You're not-I mean, are you okay?!" I still couldn't believe he could look like this and be talking, much less unharmed.

"I told you, I just keep picking it up and putting it back in again." He smiled.

I laughed in relief.

But I couldn't laugh for long.

Two strong monkeys snatched me by my upper arms and hoisted me into the sky., but it was useless. I saw a third carrying Brutus, who was barking up a storm at the monkey and attempting to bite him.

"Put me down right now, you stupid primates!!" I yelled at them, kicking and flailing in an attempt to shake them off.

"DOROTHY!!!" I heard Scarecrow yell.

I couldn't let him worry.

"Don't worry, Scarecrow! I'll be alright!" I yelled back to him.

'I hope he heard me,' I thought as I was carried helplessly to my unknown fate.

* * *

Scarecrow's P.O.V.

"I told you, I just keep picking it up and putting it back in again." I smiled, trying to reassure her-she was obviously worried about me.

I have to admit-that made me a little bit happy.

She laughed warmly, and I smiled wider.

That's when I noticed two monkeys behind Dorothy.

Before I could even open my mouth, they had snatched her and hoisted her up in the air.

"Dorothy!" I tried to get up, but I couldn't move any part of me except my head. I tried desperately to move my legs regardless-she was getting further away!

"DOROTHY!!!" I yelled in desperation.

"Don't worry, Scarecrow! I'll be alright!" I barely heard her yell back.

I gaped, then laughed bitterly. God, how like her-to worry about _me_ when _she's_ the one being kidnapped.

"Oh, no, Dorothy!"

"Dorothy, no! Come back!"

Tin Man and Lion had arrived on the scene and saw Dorothy being carried away.

"Where were you guys?!" If they had been there the whole time, why didn't they help when Dorothy was being taken?!

"Fighting monkeys, what else?" Tin Man sounded exasperated. "What about you, you couldn't save her either, and you were right here! Nice going, straw-for-brains."

Those words struck a chord. He was right. I should've saved Dorothy, but I didn't, and she was the one who was going to pay for my mistake. Anything the Witch did to her would be my fault. I was the worst friend-no, worst person-ever.

Tin Man's face suddenly softened. "Scarecrow, you know I didn't mean that-"

"But it's true," I said simply.

"No, it's not. You were paralyzed, there was nothing you could do. That was out of line for me to say." He walked over to me. "I'm sorry, man."

I looked at him, then sighed. "I forgive you." I smiled. "I thought you told me not to get used to being right."

"Don't. It'll never happen again." Tin Man smiled back.

"Hooray! We're all friends again!" Lion had been watching the scene nervously before, but was now smiling happily.

"Yeah, awesome. Now, uh, can you guys put me back together now, please?"

"Good idea," Lion nodded as he picked up one of my arms.

"Where's the rest of...you?" Tin Man asked.

"Well..."I tried to think back to when the monkeys were tearing me apart, which wasn't exactly a memory I wanted to revisit.

"They tore my legs off and threw them over there," I said, nodding to my left.

"Then....they tore out my stomach and threw it over...there..." I nodded to my right.

"Oh, that's you all over!" Tin Man commented as he got up to get my legs. Lion high-fived him for the joke.

"Hardy har." I said flatly. "Just hurry!"

"Alright, alright, don't go to pieces!" Lion remarked. He and Tin Man laughed and another high-five was exchanged.

"Fellas," I rolled my eyes. "We've got to find Dorothy, remember?"

"Oh, yeah," Said Lion, and he started gathering 'me' up faster.

With nothing else I could do, I just looked at the spot where Dorothy had flown away, praying that she was alright.  
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GASPITY GASP GASP!!! Doe's fate is uncertain!! How will she escape? Will her friends come to the rescue? Will Scarecrow finally man up and ask Doe out? Will the author stop asking rhetorical questions? The answers to all (well, most) of these questions in the next episode of-**

**TALES**

**OF**

**INTEREST!!!!!!!!! **

…**..Oh wait, sorry, I meant-**

**OVER  
THE  
RAINBOW!!!!!!!!!**


	15. A WITCH!

**So, um…..physics, algebra 2-trig, and teachers who assign all the homework at the end of the year, leaving no free time?**

**YOU CAN ALL GO DIE IN A HOLE AND ROT IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY.**

**Anyway! *removes red contacts* Onward to reviewer responses!**

**Babygirl555: Yeah, Doe's a regular BA. And no, no monkeys were harmed in the making of that chapter. However, several stunt people in monkey suits were. Aw, don't be sad! *hands tissue* There's still quite a few chapters left before the end. I hope you like this chapter!**

**broom over bubble: In order, you really think so?, thank you, and glad to hear it! I like Wicked too, but um…I don't recall ever saying Scarecrow liked wild parties, and I don't think he's a complete brainless fool. So, yyyeah…*is confused***

**JaredMilne1982: Yeah, kinda wanted to bring it into modern day. It'd be odd if Doe was all modern and everyone else was talking 30's talk. Yeah, Scarecrow's a sweetie pie. And, well…you'll just have to read on to find out! ;) Thanks for your great reviews, as always!**

**redystedyedy: Woah, did you read them all in one sitting? *is impressed* Thanks, and yay for more regular reviewers! :D**

**Okeydokeysmokeyjokey! This chapter is drama and verbal showdowns…and junk.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Doe's P.O.V.**  
**

We flew and flew. The monkeys were only holding me up by my arms, so they were pretty sore. There was a wide circle of monkeys around me and Brutus. They used to be all in my face, taunting me and the like, but after a few swift kicks to their sensitive parts, they learned to keep their distance.

Finally, I spotted a gigantic black castle in the distance, placed precariously on a sheer cliff.

'Yep, that'd be her house, all right,' I thought.

When we got very close, I figured the monkeys would drop me off to some guards who would lead me to the Witch, or something like that.

Instead, they lead me to a large, open window and threw me and Brutus right into it.  
I landed on my stomach, practically getting the wind knocked out of me.

"Well, well, look who the monkey dragged in!"

I looked up to see that bitch-excuse me, Witch-smirking down at me.

"It's so kind of you to visit me in my loneliness," She said, her voice dripping with fake sweetness.

"I can't imagine why no one visits you," I retorted as I stood up and dusted my dress off. "It couldn't be the fact that your house is on a cliff, or that bees attack you out of nowhere, or that dirty, mean monkeys escort you here whether you want them to or not!"

I heard a jabber of anger and protest behind me. I looked to see the biggest monkey holding Brutus, who was squirming to get out of its grasp.

"Hey! Let go of him!" I started to run over, but the Witch slammed her broom down in front of me, blocking the way.

I glared at her. "Tell your primate to put Brutus down, NOW."

"All in good time, my pretty, all in good time," She cooed.

"Just give him back to me, dammit!" I yelled.

"Of course, of course...as long as you give me those ruby slippers in return." She smiled evilly.

"Um..." Hoo boy. "But that Glinda lady, she, uh, she told me not to, so, um...."

"Very well," She sighed, and for one shining moment I thought I'd won. But then she swiftly turned to the monkey.

"Take that insufferable dog to the deepest part of the river and drown him!"

"NO!" I screamed.

She turned back to me, a triumphant smile on her face.

I returned my former panicked face to an indignant one. "Fine, take the damn shoes, I don't want 'em anyway. Just hand him over!"

"That's a good little girl. I knew you'd see reason..."

She leaned down to take the shoes-

**TZZZ-POW! **

The Witch screeched and pulled her hands away. The shoes had given her a huge electric shock.

"I didn't do it!" I put my hands up. "It wasn't my fault!"

"Fool that I am!" She growled. "I should have known that those slippers will never come off...as long as you're alive."

I gaped at her. "Oh, come on! Please tell me you're joking! I don't even want these!" I tried taking them off myself, but got a smaller version of the Witch's treatment-it was more like a static shock, but it still hurt.

Damn picky shoes.

"But that's not what's worrying me," The Witch was saying. She hadn't even heard me. "It's how to do it. These things must be done delicately, or you hurt the spell."

Good to know I'd have a delicate death.

I suddenly noticed Brutus had stealthily escaped the monkey and was running out the door.

I quickly looked back up at the Witch, not wanting her to see.

But she had noticed. "What are you looking at?" She barked, and turned just in time to see Brutus' tail scurry out the door.

"Catch him, you fool!" She yelled at the monkey, who scurried after Brutus.

"Run, Brutus!" I cheered him on, even though I couldn't see him.

I heard a bark out the window, and ran to see Brutus running back out towards the forest.

"Yeah!" I pumped my fist. "Good boy, Brutus! You rock, little guy! Yes! He got away!"

"Which is more than you will!" The Witch grabbed my arm.

I shook her off. "I dunno, you already let a little dog get away from you. You sure you can handle an actual person?" I stifled a laugh.

The Witch growled angrily at me, then walked over to a huge, black hourglass filled with red sand.

"You see this?" She indicated it.

"Yeah. So?" I crossed my arms.

She scowled, then flipped it over so the sand started trickling. "That's how long you've got to live!"

"You mean, that hourglass is going to kill me?" I asked skeptically.

"No!" She huffed. "When this hourglass runs out, I'll be back here to kill you! And it isn't long my pretty, it isn't long! Of course, there is one route of escape."

She led me to the window. "It's a long way down, and the cliff is sheer. So if you do decide to take this way, be a dear and leave the slippers on the windowsill. It'll save me having to pick them off your corpse!"

The Witch cackled and swooped out the door.

"If I could take them off, I wouldn't be in this mess, would I?" I yelled after her.

I looked at the hourglass. Most of the sand was still at the top, but it was steadily emptying.

'Alright, plan time.'

I went to the door and put my ear to it. I could hear guards talking to each other outside of it.

Damn.

I went to the window. Unfortunately, the Witch was right-the cliff was incredibly sheer. Even if I tied my sweater to something and climbed down, I still wouldn't be able to go down. It would be suicide.

I looked around for some other escape route. I felt all the walls for a secret tunnel, and jumped up and down on the floor for a trapdoor.

Nothing.

'There's gotta be something!' I thought desperately. 'There's always something!'

But I knew there was nothing. I was trapped.

And I was going to die.

I sat on the floor, defeated.

"I'm so sorry, Kirk," I could feel tears coming. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Do-Do!"

My head snapped up. No, it couldn't be.

"Do-Do, where the fuck are you?"

I looked around for Kirk's voice.

My eyes fell on a crystal ball I hadn't noticed before. Inside it, I could see the image of Kirk, walking aimlessly around.

I crawled quickly over to it. "Kirk, I'm here! I'm right over here!"

It didn't look like he could hear me. "It's me, your brother!" He was shouting. "We're trying to find you, dammit! You better hurry up and get your skinny ass home before I beat you black and blue!"

I was truly touched by these words-he was worried about me.

"Kirk!" I tried to get through to him. "Kirk, I'm okay! I'm trying to get home! I'm alright!"

His image started to fade.

"No, Kirk, wait! Don't go, don't go!" I yelled.

Kirk was replaced by the Wicked Witch.

"Kirk! Kirk!" She imitated me. "Don't go, Kirk!"

Suddenly, her whole face filled the crystal ball, making me jump.

"I'll give you Kirk, my pretty!"

With a cackle, she disappeared.

Fuming, I kicked the crystal ball. It fell off its stand and shattered.

Was any of that real, then? Was Kirk really searching for me?

It didn't matter anyway. There was no way I could escape. The hourglass was only half full now. I was doomed.

'I can't believe I'm going to be killed by a green emo BITCH.

I just wish I could have said goodbye to Kirk-and my new friends.'

With no other options, I sat on the floor and cried.

* * *

3rd Person Omniscient P.O.V.

"Everything set?" Tin Man asked.

Scarecrow shook his legs and arms and walked around. The other two had just put him back together.

"All good," Said Scarecrow with a thumbs-up.

"Alright. Now, we need a plan." Tin Man tapped his chin, thinking.

"How are we even gonna get to the Witch's castle?" Lion asked.

"I-I'm not sure," Tin Man deflated. "Scarecrow, what do you think?"

Scarecrow thought for a moment. Suddenly, he heard barking. He turned over his shoulder and gasped.

"Look, guys!"

The other two turned to see Brutus running to them. As soon as he reached them, he lay down, exhausted.

"Brutus!" Tin Man smiled.

"You got away from that Witch?" Lion was in awe.

Panting, Brutus just nodded.

"Wait a minute!" Scarecrow said excitedly. "If Brutus was with Dorothy, and he escaped, he could lead us to Dorothy!"

At the sound of Dorothy's name, all signs of exhaustion left Brutus, and he quickly got up.

"Could ya do that, little buddy?" Lion asked.

Brutus barked and nodded.

"Well, what are we waiting around for?" Said Tin Man.

With that, Brutus ran like the wind, the three boys right behind him.

* * *

**Nice. **

***climbs to crow's nest and takes out telescope* Epic rescue scene approaching from the starboard side! Reviews are like candy-I don't necessarily NEED them to survive, but they're still great and I love getting them. ^_^**


	16. Rescue Mission

**YAY! I'm excited about this chapter-the big rescue scene! :D *puts on Joe Swanson voice* LET'S DO IT!**

**redystedyedy: Yeah, it was a while, huh? Sorry bout that. It was pretty different than in the movie, but I'm glad you liked it!**

**Babygirl555: *Bender-style* I'm back, bay-buh! Lulz. I've outdone myself, you say? Hmm, I've met my match-in myself. Does that mean I win? Or lose? *gazes philosophically into the distance* I'm glad you liked the emo joke. I hurried as fast as I could/ wanted to-I had to leave some time for the cliffhangerness, y'know. ;)**

**JaredMilne1982: Yes, the ruby slippers have their own agenda, like HAL in ****2001: A Space Odyssey****. "Doe. You must keep me on your feet, Doe. Do not give me to the Wicked Witch, Doe." XD And exactly my point-just because she's tough doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings. Cheers to Chapter 16! *raises flute glass of sparkling apple juice***

**broom over bubble: Don't worry, I have my random moments, too. "Miley Ctrus is a very popular coconut." is one of my random gems that my friends always quote now. Your quote's from "Horton Hears a Who", by the way. *makes "What now?" hand gesture* XD I will keep it comin', don't you worry!**

**mrs. rosey cheeks: Don't worry about it-I know more than anyone that sometimes you just can't get around to stuff. Ha-Doe, the Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger. I wonder which color she'd be? Anyway, thanks for reviewing!**

**Well, like I said, I'm excited about this chapter-from here on in is my favorite part of the story. *restrains self from singing "Ever Ever After" amd instead sings:*S-Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion! Rescue Rangers! Yeah, doesn't have the same ring as Chip and Dale. Oh well. By the way, normal italics are still singing, and bold italics are memories.  
**

**Disclaimer: Only own Doe, Kirk, & Brutus. Dat's it.**

**Enjoy!**

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* * *

**Third Person Omniscient P.O.V.**  
**

It hadn't been easy getting to the Witch's castle. Since Brutus had been running away, he had taken the obvious path, where there were quite a lot of Winkie guards. The boys were forced to go around and climb the steep cliff.

Lion had held on with his claws while Tin Man and Scarecrow held onto his tail. Scarecrow held Brutus in one arm.

Lion tried not to look down. "Oh, I sure hope my courage holds out," He sobbed.

"I hope your tail holds out!" Tin Man said as he looked at how high they were.

Finally, they made it to the top. The boys hid behind a large boulder right above the main entrance to the Witch's castle.

They looked at the huge, black, evil-looking castle.

"Dorothy's in that awful place?" Lion squeaked.

"Oh, I hate to think of her in there!" Tin Man was crying. "We've got to get her out somehow!"

He suddenly remembered Dorothy's words to him.

"_**Only a guy with a heart of gold would cry over a little bee.**_"

And here he was, crying again, but she was much more important than a little bee.

Did he really have a heart after all?

"Don't cry now!" Scarecrow snapped him out of it. "We haven't got the oilcan with us, and you've been squeaking enough as it is!" But the truth was, he was just as upset as Tin Man at the thought of Dorothy somewhere in that terrible castle.

"You're right, you're right," Tin Man wiped his face.

"Alright, now, Lion," Scarecrow turned to him. "When we do come up with a plan, you're gonna lead us."

"Right. I'm...wh-wh-wh-what? M-m-m-m-me?" Lion shook.

"Well, of course! You're the strongest of all of us," Scarecrow stated, and Tin Man nodded in agreement.

"Buh-buh-buh-but-but-but..." Lion stuttered. "I-I'm gonna lead us against the forces of evil?" He pointed at the intimidating Winkie gaurds.

Scarecrow and Tin Man nodded.

Lion shook like a leaf. He couldn't do this! Nothing had even happened yet, and he was already scared silly!

Wait...scared silly...why did that phrase sound familiar to him?

"_**Everyone's afraid of something, but the courageous people face their fears even though they're scared silly.**_"

Dorothy had said that to him. And now she was all alone in that castle. She was counting on all of them, him included.

"Alright," Lion nodded. "I'll go in there for Dorothy. Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch, guards or no guards, I'll tear 'em apart!" He growled. "I may not come out alive, but I'm goin' in there! There's only one thing I want you fellas to do."

"What?" Scarecrow and Tin Man asked in unison.

Lion's face became scared again. "Talk me out of it!" He wailed.

The other two rolled their eyes.

"Alright then," Tin Man rubbed his hands together. "Scarecrow, what's the plan?"

"What?" Scarecrow jumped a little. "You want me to come up with the plan?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"But I-" Scarecrow sputtered. "I don't have a brain!"

"Really?" Tin Man smiled. "I don't think Dorothy would agree with you."

"What do you-"

He suddenly remembered all those times, even when they'd just met.

"_**Good idea!**_"

"_**That's a good point, Scarecrow.**_"

"_**Way to think on your feet, Scarecrow!**_"

"_**You sure you don't have any brains? 'Cause that was genius!**_"

He still wasn't sure if he had brains...but Dorothy believed he did.

And that was all that mattered.

"Alright, alright," He sighed, and Tin Man smirked. "Just give me a minute."

How could they possibly get in without being noticed? They didn't look a thing like those Winkie gener-

Wait.

"Bingo," Scarecrow whispered, smiling.

"What?" Asked Tin Man.

"Alright, I've got a plan," Scarecrow turned to the other two.

"He's got a plan!" Lion said excitedly to Brutus, who wagged his tail.

"It might not work," Scarecrow admitted.

"It might not work," Lion shrugged to Brutus. His tail drooped.

"But it's got a chance," Scarecrow said confidently.

"But it's got a chance!" Lion smiled at Brutus, and the tail wagging resumed.

"The only thing is, it's very, very dangerous," Scarecrow stated. "What do you say, men?"

"I say..." Lion piped up. He paused, then whimpered. "Anyone else got a plan?"

"Let's hear Scarecrow's," Tin Man nodded for him to continue.

Scarecrow smiled gratefully. "Okay, first, we need to get ahold of three Winkie uniforms."

Lion heard Brutus growling at something behind them. He turned around-

And saw three Winkies sneaking up behind them.

Lion was frozen in fear. "F-f-f-fellas?"

The other two didn't hear him.

"How are we going to get three Winkie uniforms?" Tin Man asked.

"I-I don't know," Scarecrow admitted. "But the whole plan depends on it!"

"F-f-f-f-fellas?" Lion said a little louder.

They still didn't hear him.

"Three Winkie uniforms..." Tin Man said thoughtfully.

"F-f-fellas," Lion shivered. "W-we don't gotta look too far!"

"Why's that?" Scarecrow asked, confused.

"**THEY'RE RIGHT BEHIND US!**"

Before Scarecrow and Tin Man could even turn around, the Winkies jumped them.

A tussle ensued behind the boulder. Scarecrow wasn't much of a fighter, but he managed to get one Winkie down while Tin Man hit him over the head with the handle of his axe, knocking the guard out. Lion fought the other two with a strength he didn't know he had, and soon the other two guards were down for the count.

"Lion, that was great!" Scarecrow congratulated Lion.

"Good man," Tin Man smiled.

"Aw, shucks," Lion rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

The three stripped the unconscious Winkies of their uniforms, and put them on. They grabbed the hats and spears, too.

"Alright," Scarecrow huddled them together. "When the guards go in, we march in at the end of the line, like we're guards, too."

"Simple, yet brilliant," Tin Man smiled. "I like it."

"Thanks," Now Scarecrow was the sheepish one.

"Y-ya think it'd be polite, dropping in like this?" Lion said shakily.

Tin Man and Scarecrow shared a 'What are we going to do with him?' look.

They ducked behind the boulder, and they didn't have to wait long before a line of chanting guards walked towards the drawbridge.

The three nodded and they walked towards the line.

Halfway through, Lion tried to turn back, but Tin Man held him fast and dragged him until he was walking forward again.

They fit themselves seamlessly at the end of the line, and marched to the beat the chanting set.

Brutus trotted casually behind them, and got across just as the drawbridge closed with a resounding clang.

Lion gulped when he heard that sound. He knew it meant there was no going back now.

'Dorothy, just think of Dorothy,' He reminded himself.

As soon as they could, the boys ducked into a nearby corridor.

"Now we just need to find Dorothy," Said Scarecrow.

"But they say it's got a thousand rooms!" Tin Man cut in. "How are we ever gonna figure out which one Dorothy's in?"

At this, Brutus pawed at Tin Man's feet, an offended look on his face. 'Hello?' He seemed to say.

"We've got the best Dorothy tracker in the world right here!" Scarecrow ruffled the fur on top of Brutus' head.

Brutus preened happily.

"Lead the way!" Tin Man smiled.

Brutus yipped and was off like a shot.

Through twisting hallways, spiraling stairs, and claustrophobic corridors, Brutus ran and ran and ran.

Finally, he pawed at a big, black, miserable-looking double door.

Tin Man was about to open the door, but Scarecrow stopped him.

"We'd better make sure," He said, and Tin Man nodded.

Scarecrow took a deep breath, hoping they weren't too late.

* * *

Doe's P.O.V.

I hadn't moved much since the crystal ball incident. I just sat on the floor, my arms wrapped tightly around me as I brooded and-alright, I admit it-cried.

"_Someone holds me, safe and warm..._" I sang softly to myself. I wished I had Kirk to hold me now. Or Tin Man or Lion...

Or Scarecrow.

But there was nobody. I was cold, and I sure as hell wasn't safe. I was going to die in a matter of minutes-the hourglass was close to empty.

I just wished I'd told them-all of them-how much they meant to me before I died.

"So you're not gonna help me now, Glinda?" I meant to shout this, but I couldn't find the energy. "Now, of all times?"

I sighed. "No, of course not. Nobody can help me now." I closed my eyes as fresh tears cascaded down my face.

"Dorothy, are you in there?"

My head shot up. No. I wasn't going to fall for the Witch's tricks again.

Wasn't one false hope enough?

"It's us, Dorothy! We came to get you out!"

"Are you okay?"

I ran to the door. This couldn't be a trick-the Witch couldn't be three people at once.

"Yeah, it's me!"

"Dorothy!"

"Oh, thank goodness."

"She didn't hurt ya, did she?"

I smiled at those familiar voices, then remembered. "No, but she'll be back any minute!"

"Stand back, I'll break the door down!" I heard Tin Man say.

I did as he asked, and heard smashes as Tin Man used his axe on the door.

I stole a nervous glance at the hourglass, and panicked as I saw only a pinch left at the top.

But at that moment, the door fell in, and I ran out.

I stopped for a moment as I saw the guys in guard attire. I was about to ask, but decided it wasn't the time.

"I can't believe you guys came to save me!" I gave Lion a quick, but big hug.

"I couldn't have asked for better friends!" I hugged Tin Man next, and he patted me on the back.

I turned to Scarecrow, smiled, and threw my arms around his neck as I hugged him.

"Thank you," I whispered, not trusting my voice as new tears-this time of joy-formed behind my eyes.

I smiled a wide smile no one could see as Scarecrow, after an initial hesitation, put his arms around me and hugged me close.

Suddenly, though, he pulled away and grabbed my hand.

"Come on, we've got no time to lose!"

I nodded.

We flew down the stairs and to the open door.

**BANG! **

The door closed right in our faces. We heard groans, and whipped around to find ourselves surrounded by Winkie guards, pointing their spears at us-

And the Witch at the top of the stairs, smiling and holding the empty hourglass.

* * *

**Oh shhhhhhnikeebears! What will become of our beloved heroes? To be revealed in the next chapter! Reviews are lurvely! ^_^**


	17. Escapes and Suspense

***flattens on floor like Elastigirl to avoid the grand pianos being hurled in my direction*Okay, I have a good reason for taking so long to update! I swear to God! Well, actually, I have one good reason and one crappy reason. I'll start with the crappy one.**

**TOY STORY 3. First of all, if you haven't seen it, please do so. It's phenomenal-arguably the best in the series. And it's not just us Pixar nuts-one of the main guys at Rotten Tomatoes put this movie up there with ****The Godfather**** and ****Star Wars****. It's THAT awesome. But anyway, my muse for that hit me over the head with a sledgehammer and left me unconscious to my other stories for a while, which delayed this chapter. But as I said, this is my crappy reason.**

**The better reason (and, really, the real reason) is this: You know how I told all o' y'all that I had the rest of the chapters for this story filed away and mostly done? That's true, but somehow this one got deleted. Don't know how, don't know when, but it was just gone. I had to rewrite it, which sucked, 'cause I wrote this chapter MONTHS ago, and couldn't remember any of it. **

**So I deeply apologize, because not only is this chapter super late, but it kinda sucks and is quite short. GAAAAAH I APOLOGIZE TO THE WOOOOOOOORLD!**

**Well, try to enjoy! *narrowly misses more grand pianos***

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* * *

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Scarecrow's P.O.V.

The Witch sneered down at us from above, and the monkeys and Winkies surrounded us.

I tried to push Dorothy behind me, but she stood her ground.

"Leaving so soon?" She faked offense. "We won't hear of it, will we, Winkies?"

They grunted their agreement.

"Monkeys?"

They jabbered gleefully.

"No, our little party's just beginning," She smiled.

The Winkies moved closer with their spears, and I held an arm out in from of Dorothy as we backed away from them.

"That's right," The Witch nodded. "Don't get them right away. We'll let them think about it a little first."

'_Think, think! We didn't come all this way just to get ourselves killed!_'

I suddenly spotted a large chandelier over the Winkies' heads. I followed the rope holding it up with my eyes-

And ended up right next to Tin Man.

Perfect.

Quick as a wink, I grabbed Tin Man's axe arm and swung it onto the wall, cutting the rope.

The chandelier fell with a crash onto the Winkies.

"Come on!" I yelled, and we all ran.

"Catch them, you fools!" The Witch screeched as we ran.

"Another amazing idea brought to you by Scarecrow," Dorothy smiled at me.

"Heh, thanks," I said sheepishly.

"Could you two focus?" Tin Man said, exasperated.

We ran and ran, following Brutus, the only one who knew the way out.

Finally, Brutus barked excitedly.

"He said this is the way out!" Dorothy exclaimed happily. Lion nodded in agreement.

Never mind Lion, but it was a true mark of her and Brutus' friendship that she always knew what he was saying.

We opened the door-

And were met with a wall of Winkies.

We all screamed and ran for another door-

And were met with another wall of Winkies.

We finally ran to the only other door, which led to a big, round room with a slightly raised platform against one wall.

Winkies were pouring into the room, and we backed up towards the platform as they surrounded us.

"Well, well!"

We jumped and turned around. The Witch had appeared on the platform and was smirking down at us.

"Ring around the rosy, a pocketful of spears," She sang. "Thought you'd be pretty foxy, didn't you? Well, as it happens, I'm foxier!"

I heard Dorothy snort, for some reason.

The Witch raised her broom. "Eeny, meeny, miney, mo," She chanted happily, bopping her broom above our heads with each word. "Who shall be the first to go?"

"Dog?" She pointed her broom at Brutus, who whimpered a little.

Dorothy quickly scooped him up in her arms and glared fiercely at the Witch.

Thankfully, she didn't notice.

"Lion?" She pointed, and he cowered and shook in fear.

"Tin Man?" He stood his ground, but looked frightened nonetheless.

"Girl?"

Dorothy made a gesture I didn't recognize, but looked challenging, and stepped boldly toward the Witch.

I leapt to stand in front of her, blocking her way with my back to her.

She tried to get around me, but I wasn't about to let her.

"Scarecrow, what are you doing? Let me at her!" I could feel the anger in Dorothy's hushed voice-mostly (I hoped) at the Witch, but partially (I knew) at me.

But she was crazy if she thought I was going to budge.

"No!" I insisted. "You're not getting anywhere near that woman!"

"But-!" She tried to argue.

With more boldness than I thought I possessed, I turned to look Dorothy right in the eye.

"Dorothy, she took you away from me once. Don't you dare ask me to watch her do it again."

With that, I turned back to the Witch.

She hadn't noticed our exchange, but an evil smile was playing on her lips.

"No," Her smile broadened. "My broom has chosen SCARECROW!"

"**NO!"** Dorothy's scream made me jump. She redoubled her efforts to get past me, but now I really wasn't going to let her past.

Two Winkies grabbed me and hauled me up to the Witch's platform. I didn't bother fighting them.

"NO!" I heard Dorothy shout again, further away this time.

The Witch was cackling in delight. As much as I didn't want to look at her, I couldn't look away, because I knew I'd see Dorothy. I couldn't bear that-hearing her screams was bad enough.

"Let him go, don't hurt him!" She was saying, and the desperation in her voice tore me apart.

Yet somehow, I was at peace.

'_What a great way to go,_' I thought. '_Dying to save someone you care about._'

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**God, AND a cliffhanger! I'm surprised I'm not dead from all those grand pianos. Throw more at me in reviews! I promise, updates are gonna be way more frequent, and the next chapter's way better than this.**


	18. Melting

**Konichiwa, my dear readers! (Told ya I'd update this one faster!) This time, we finish off the Witch for good (finally). **

**I DIDN'T DO REVIEWER RESPONSE IN THE LAST CHAPTER AAAAAGH!**

**Babygirl555: I've won? Whew, another philosophy question answered. Yes, all good things must come to an end, but all bad things must go on for-frakkin'-ever. *nods sagely* No, I get what you mean-if you only hear one side of a story, it gets boring after a while. That's why I switch it up. And yes, I'm alive. At least, that's what the scientist said when I woke up on that lab table in his basement. Actually, he didn't say it, he sort of screamed it at the sky-but I digress. Yeah, nerdy boys are always the sweeties. And don't worry, we've all had a crush on a fictional character at one time or another. ;) THAT was your favorite chapter? Sorry, I'm just biased because that chapter was tedious to write. Hope you like the next chapter!**

**broom over bubble: Ha! Glad to see you're getting into the story. And the quote? Hmm, I'm not entirely sure. I'm not gonna cheat and look it up, though. From the language, I'd guess either Shakespeare or Robin Hood. I don't recall Shakespeare mentioning cutting off people's manhoods, though (if he had, I definitely would pay better attention in class) so I'm gonna go with Robin Hood, B.O.B. HA HA see what I did there? See, most people would say Bob, referring to Bob Barker, but I also used it as an abbreviation for your pen name. God, I'm so clever. Ha ha, me and my evil cliffies. And oh yeah? Well, I brought my dinosaur, who EATS rabid flying-lemur-monkeys! Nah, this one's not depressing. Sugar solves all the world's problems. Thanks for reviewing, and hope you like this chapter!**

**redystedyedy: Thanks! :) Yeah, tough girls get sad, too. And yeah, Kirk and Doe love each other fiercely, but will never, ever say it out loud. XD Yeah, Scarecrow and Doe 4-eva. :) And God, I hope so. One of those pianos had an elephant inside. Man, that one hurt. Hope you like this here next chapter!**

**mrs. rosey cheeks: Ah, but then the story wouldn't be exciting, would it? Thanks! A classic with a twist-now that has a ring to it! Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you like the next chappie!**

**JaredMilne1982: Thank you! I wanted to keep most of the movie dialogue but, again, update it to 21****st**** century speak. Thanks for your insightful reviews as always, and enjoy!**

**GothicWolfGirl652: Yeeees, I am. XD I'm killing you? Does that make me Smalls? Sandlot references aside, thank you for reviewing, and enjoy this chapter-or try to, anyway.**

**Next chapter right here, everybody!**

**Enjoy!**

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**Doe's P.O.V.**  
**

"Eeny-meeny-miney-mo, who shall be the first to go?"

'_Oh, how clever,_' I thought.

"Dog?" She pointed her broom at Brutus, who backed away a little and whimpered.

Oh, hell no.

I quickly scooped him up, then gave the Witch my best glare, daring her to come near him.

But she had already moved on.

"Lion?" She pointed, and he hid his face in his hands.

'_Strike two, lady._'

"Tin Man?" She pointed. He didn't falter, but I could tell he was a little scared

"Girl?" She pointed at me.

'_Finally,_' I thought in my head as I stepped forward and made the 'Bring it' gesture.

But Scarecrow stepped in front of me, holding his arms out to block me getting out.

"Scarecrow, what are you doing?" I whisper-shouted at him. I tried every way of getting around his arms, but he was better than a basketball guard.

"Let me at her!" I insisted, as I desperately faked back and forth to try to get out.

"No!" He surprised me by whisper-shouting right back. "You're not getting anywhere near that woman!"

"But-!" I was going to tell him that was ridiculous, that he didn't have to protect me, that I wasn't worth protecting in the first place, but he cut me off and turned his head to me with a very serious look in his eyes.

"Dorothy, she took you away from me once. Don't you dare ask me to watch her do it again."

He quickly turned back.

I was shocked. I wasn't quite sure why, but something about that statement really touched my heart-so much so, I almost felt like crying.

'_What the hell is wrong with me? When'd I get so friggin' emotional?_'

I shook it off, and brought myself back to the present.

"No," The Witch was saying. "my broom has chosen SCARECROW!"

"**NO!**" I screamed this without thinking. I desperately tried to shove Scarecrow out of the way, but he wouldn't budge.

A few Winkie guards grabbed him and hauled him up towards that green mistress of evil.

"NO!" I shouted, trying to run to the platform. But I was met with a wall of Winkies. I tried to push them aside, but there were just too many of them.

"Let him go, don't hurt him!" I yelled over the wall.

"You're going to be my new flame, Scarecrow!" I heard the Witch cackle.

A new anger surged right next to the anger I was already feeling.

"Stop it, stop it right now!" I screamed. I couldn't even see the Witch and Scarecrow anymore. "SCARECROW!" I could feel more tears coming.

'_Jesus, this emotional stuff is freaking me out,_' I thought to myself.

But there was no time for sarcastic comments-I had to do something.

I quickly looked around for something-anything!-that I could use.

My eyes fell on a mop leaning against a wall, and a bucket of water next to it.

'_Yes!_' I thought as I rushed over and picked up the mop, ready for combat.

"You two can watch your friend go up in smoke!" I heard the Witch sneer at Lion and Tin Man.

"No!" I said, more to myself than anyone. I looked at the mop, then at the bucket of water. As much as I wanted to fight that little green monster-

Ensuring Scarecrow's safety was much more important.

With a sigh, I dropped the mop, grabbed the bucket, and ran as fast as I could without spilling over to the platform.

Luckily for me, the Winkies had made a gap in the line in an effort to watch the action, so I was able to run right up to the platform.

"Let's turn up the heat!" The Witch lit her broom on fire and lightly touched it to Scarecrow's arm.

Scarecrow screamed as it instantly caught fire and began to spread.

"I don't think so, Witchy!"

I quickly threw the water on Scarecrow, dousing the fire instantly.

"**NOOOOO!**"

I turned to the Witch, ready to gloat and smirk at her defeat. I snorted as I saw some of the water had landed on her.

'Wait-is she sinking? What's going on?'

"You cursed brat! Look what you've done!" She screeched. "I'm melting! Melting!"

…

…

…  
...**HUH?**

"Oh, what a world, what a world! Who would've thought a little brat like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?"

She whimpered and babbled on until all that was left of her was a disgusting green puddle and her pointy hat.

We were all silent.

"...That was all we had to do?" I finally said. "Spritz her with water?"

The biggest Winkie walked up to me, and I backed up some. I'd just killed their leader-these guys were not going to be happy.

"She-she's dead." The Winkie stated in a deep bass voice. "You've killed her."

'_All brawn and no brain. Typical henchman._' Still, it seemed really harsh when he put it that way.

"Well, I didn't mean to kill her," I started to babble. "I didn't! It's just that he was on fire, and I had to do something, and besides, how was I supposed to know water would melt her, it doesn't even make sense when you-!"

"Hail to Dorothy! The Wicked Witch is dead!" The Winkie general boomed as he kneeled.

"Hail to Dorothy! The Wicked Witch is dead!" The other Winkies echoed both his words and actions.

'_They didn't like her either,_' I thought as I laughed a little.

"You are now our queen." The Winkie general stated.

"Well, uh, that's really nice of you to offer, but I have to get back to Kansas," I said apologetically.

Scarecrow tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the half-burned broom.

Oh, yeah! Duh, why were we here in the first place?

"The Witch's broom. May we have it?" I asked the general.

"Please." He handed it to me. "And take it with you."

"Uh, yeah, we kinda planned to." I said awkwardly as I took it.

I looked to the guys. "Is everybody okay?"

"Just splendid," Tin Man nodded.

"Yeah, I'm good," Lion smiled.

I looked Scarecrow dead in the eye. "Does your arm hurt? Don't lie to me."

"Nope, it's fit as a fiddle!" He moved his arm in various complicated motions to demonstrate. I didn't see him flinch, so I had no choice but to take his word for it.

"What about you?" Scarecrow asked.

"Never better!" I smiled. "Now we can go to the Wizard and tell him the Wicked Witch is dead!"

"The Wicked Witch is dead!" The Winkies cheered.

The Winkies insisted we stay in the castle for the night. I was a little uneasy about that, but reminded myself that there was no Witch anymore, so this castle wasn't a threat anymore.

In the morning, the Winkies were our royal escort out of the forest. As they marched, they sang a slower, lower-pitched version of that song from Munchkinland.

"_Ding-dong, the Witch is dead!  
Which old witch?  
The Wicked Witch!  
Ding-dong, the Wicked Witch is dead!  
She's gone where the goblins go  
Below! Below, below  
Yo-ho! Let's open up and sing  
And ring the bells out!  
Ding-dong, the merry-oh  
Sing it high!  
Sing it low!  
Let them know the Wicked Witch is dead!_"

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Third Person Omniscient P.O.V.

Nobody noticed Nikko, who had watched the whole scene in horror. He now clutched the Witch's hat, the only thing left of the closest thing to a mother he had. He plopped down next to the puddle and cried bitter tears.

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**Little sad at the end there…oh well! :) Next chapter we actually meet the Wizard! Reviews are lovely things!**


	19. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz?

**Hey, girlfriends! And boyfriends too, I dunno who reads this. And I mean boy friends. There's a space. I don't have multiple boyfriends. I don't even have one. And I certainly don't have any girlfriends-don't swing that way. Y'know, I think I'm digressing. REVIEWER RESPONSE!**

**Babygirl555: *starts singing* Speedy speed boy! Anyway, all girls are romantics on the inside, so no shame there. And yeah, I feel a little bad for Nikko. Not too much, though. Maybe it's the fez-I'm not a fan. And I'll be sad when it ends, too. Hope you like this chapter, and thanks for reviewing!**

**redystedyedy: Just when you think you know me, I hitcha with a left. Then once you get used to the lefts, I hitcha with rights. Then I go zigzag, then I just go straight, so you're all mixed up. Ahem. I'm glad that my stories make you want to read on-if not, I'd be in trouble. XD Yeah, Doe's really just a big teddy bear. Just don't tell her that. ;) Sounds like a plan, Stan!**

**GothicWolfGirl652: She doesn't-well, not in the L. Frank Baum books. The sequel to Wicked, called Son of a Witch (geddit?) mentions her son. If you're talking about Nikko, he's not technically her son (that'd be kinda sick ). But Nikko thought of her like a mother, so yeah. Sorry if that was confusing. *sweatdrop* And yeah, guilty. I was sitting at my computer thinking, "Y'know, I could make this chapter long. But then again, GothicWolfGirl652 will go nuts if it's short, and that would be fun to watch. MWA HA HA HAAA!" But nice try-I don't have any brains to eat. Nyeeh! *sticks out tongue* I'm not sure how my stories appeal to the zombie demographic, but I hope you like this chapter anyway!**

**broom over bubble: Don't worry, I'm not gonna start calling you that. Just used it cause it fit with the game show joke I was doing there. Wait-I did? That was just a wild guess! *does cabbage patch dance and starts chanting* Go me! Go me! Aw yeah! I'm awesome! Alright, I'm done. And damn, I know that one! * hits head in effort to remember* Uh…oh, duh! Wicked! Galinda says that to Dr. Dillimond. *crosses arms and looks smug* Yeah, his name's not stated in the movie, I don't think, but I did the play, and they said his name was Nikko. He's like, the Flying Monkey Commander or something. But his fate _is_ sad. Don't join the dark side, kiddies-it just ends in heartbreak. Also, they're totally lying about the cookies. Well, he's not going to die-come on, now-but he is going to get a chewing out from Doe, which is kinda worse, in a way. XD Hope you like it!**

**Yeah, sorry about this being updated kinda late-I was out of town for a week. It sucked. But anyway, this time we actually meet the Wizard in person! I'm actually prouder of this chapter than I have been of past ones, so this should be good-hopefully.**

**Enjoy!**

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Doe's P.O.V.

All the citizens of the Emerald City were shocked to see us again-I guess they heard about our mission. They cheered and sang praises that we weren't dead.

My favorite was the guard's face-he looked like a widemouth bass that someone had just slapped in the face. Priceless.

"Y-y-you're-you're back?" He finally choked out.

"Not just that." I smirked and held out the broom. "One broomstick of the late Wicked Witch of the West."

His mouth opened even wider, if that was possible, and he was silent for so long I had to clap in front of his face before he responded.

"Well, this is truly remarkable!" He smiled in excitement. "I'll tell the Wizard you're here. You can tell him the rest."

After a few minutes, the guard came back out.

"Go on in, go on in!" He waved us in. "Oh, and you can bring your dog in this time, too!"

Brutus barked happily and quickly trotted in after us.

The Wizard was much easier to face this time. Even Lion seemed more at ease.

"**STEP FORWARD, IF YOU DARE.**"

My eardrums still hurt when he talked, however.

"**CAN I BELIEVE MY EYES? WHY HAVE YOU COME BACK?**"

'_We surprised the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz,_' I gloated to myself.

I turned to the guys, who eagerly waved me on, grinning ear-to-ear, just like me.

"Please, sir," I did a small curtsy as I stepped up to the Wizard's platform with the broom. "We did what you told us to. We brought you the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West." I placed the broom right in front of him, then backed up a little. "We melted her," I said proudly.

"**OH, YOU LIQUIDATED HER, EH?**" He laughed. "**VERY RESOURCEFUL.**"

"Thank you, sir," I smiled. "So, um, if you don't mind, we'd like you to keep your promise to us, if you please, sir." I really hoped I didn't sound rude.

"**NOT SO FAST, NOT SO FAST!**" He boomed, making me jump. "**I'LL HAVE TO GIVE THE MATTER A LITTLE MORE THOUGHT. GO AWAY AND COME BACK TOMORROW!**"

"Tomorrow?" I was floored-and angry. "But I've been here for days, I want to go home now!"

"You've had plenty of time already!"

"Yeah!"

I hadn't noticed Tin Man, Lion, and Scarecrow had come up behind me.

"**DO NOT AROUSE THE WRATH OF THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ!**" He yelled louder than ever. "**I SAID _COME BACK TOMORROW!_**"

But this guy didn't scare me anymore. "If you were really 'great and powerful', you'd keep your promise to us!" I glared at him.

"**DO YOU PRESUME TO QUESTION THE GREAT OZ?**" He yelled.

"As a matter of fact, I do," I crossed my arms. Screw respect-he wasn't going to help us anyway. Might as well stick it to him while I can.

"**YOU UNGRATEFUL CREATURES!**" This time flames shot up as he yelled, and I jumped in spite of myself.

But Brutus hadn't even noticed. He was walking off towards the side of the room.

"**YOU SHOULD CONSIDER YOURSELVES LUCKY THAT I AM GIVING YOU AN AUDIENCE TOMORROW, INSTEAD OF TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW!**"

I wasn't even paying attention to the Wizard.

"Brutus? What's up?" He never just wandered for no reason.

Brutus barked at something, and I walked over to investigate. The guys followed.

"**THE GREAT OZ HAS SPOKEN! NOW GO!**" The Wizard said rather quickly.

Brutus was pawing at a green curtain that completely surrounded one corner of the room.

"**LEAVE! NOW! BEFORE I LOSE MY TEMPER!**" The Wizard said.

"What's behind the curtain, Bru?" I asked. He just barked and pawed frantically, urging me to open it.

So I pulled it half-open.

"Whoa, mama," I whispered.

The whole wall was filled with a tech geek's dream-tv screens showing various angles of the room, more knobs and levers than I could count, and a million buttons-blinking ones, huge ones, and those flashing red ones that begged to be pressed.

And in the middle of it all there was a stubby man.

That's about all I could take in of him before he jumped and frantically pulled the curtain closed again.

"**PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!**" The Wizard boomed at us.

Yeah, right.

I pulled the curtain all the way open this time.

"And you are?" I asked the man.

"Well, uh, I..." He turned to the microphone next to him and talked into it, making his voice booming.

"**I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL...**" He sighed as he gave up and turned to us. "...Wizard of...Oz."

"YOU?" My eyes nearly bugged out of my head. Now that I could look at this guy, I could see that he was indeed stubby. He was also pretty old-the only hair on his head was on the sides, and it was white as snow. His glasses were perched precariously on the edge of his nose. Although he had a jolly-looking face, it wasn't as noticeable because of his wrinkles and the fact that, right now, he was terrified.

Of a girl, a scarecrow, a guy made out of tin, and a lion who's scared of his own shadow.

THIS was the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz?

"Please tell me you're joking," I groaned.

"No, I-I'm afraid it's true," He laughed nervously as he wrung his hands. "There-there's no other...Wizard, except me."

"You humbug!" Scarecrow blurted, pointing an accusing finger at the Wizard.

I had other names for him, but that worked.

"Well, it-well-I suppos-yes-yes..." He admitted as he looked down in shame. "Yes, that's exactly so. I am a humbug."

"How could you lie to everyone in this city?" I said, my hands clenched in fists as I stared the 'Wizard' down. "You're a horrible person!"

"Oh, no, no, no, my dear," He looked up quickly. "That's not true! I am a very good person, I'm just...a-a very bad..Wizard."

'_I'll say._' I had the tact not to say this out loud.

"What about the heart you promised Tin Man?" Scarecrow challenged.

"Well, I-" The Wizard started.

"And the courage you promised Lion?" Scarecrow interrupted him.

"You see, it's-"

"And Scarecrow's brain!" Tin Man and Lion said in unison, to which Scarecrow nodded firmly.

"Well, but...but you've had them!" The Wizard explained. "You've had them all along!"

I looked up. That's what I was hoping he'd tell them. Maybe this guy's not such a quack after all.

"What do you mean?" Tin Man asked.

"Nice try, buddy!" Lion scoffed.

"You can't get out of this that easy!" Scarecrow said. "We want a real heart, real courage, and real brains!"

I sighed. They were so clueless.

"Why, anyone can have a brain!" The Wizard walked over to Scarecrow. "That's a very mediocre commodity! Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the earth, or slinks through slimy seas, has a brain!"

'_Pusillanimous? What is he, an English teacher?_'

"Back where I come from," The Wizard explained. "We have places called universities, where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts-and they have no more brains than you have!"

Scarecrow smiled brightly at this.

"But they have one thing you haven't got-a diploma!"

The Wizard went back behind the curtain for a moment and came back holding a little velvet black bag. He pulled a diploma out of it.

"Therefore," The Wizard proclaimed dramatically. "By virtue of the authority vested in me, by the Universitatus Committeeatum, E pluribus unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of Th. D!"

"Th. D?" Scarecrow asked.

"Yes, that's uh..." The Wizard thought for a moment. "Doctor of...Thinkology!"

With that, the Wizard handed Scarecrow his diploma, which he eagerly took. Suddenly Scarecrow's hand flew to his head. Before I could ask what was wrong, he started talking really fast.

"The sum of the square root of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side." He said all this in about four seconds.

All of us (except the Wizard) gaped at him, and even he looked surprised.

"I can't believe it..." He whispered, before he started jumping around. "I've got a brain! I've got a brain!"

He grabbed both my hands and started jumping around in a circle. I laughed and did the same.

He ran to the Wizard. "How can I ever thank you?"

"Well, you can't." The Wizard said simply, and walked over to Lion, leaving a very confused Scarecrow behind.

"As for you, my fine friend," He said to Lion. "You are a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate delusion that, simply because you run away from danger, you have no courage. You are confusing courage with wisdom!"

When Lion had no response but to look confused, the Wizard continued.

"Back where I come from, we have men who are called 'heroes'," He explained. "Once a year, they take their fortitude out of the mothballs and parade it down the main street of the city. And they have no more courage than you have!"

"Really?" Lion's eyes widened.

"But they do have one thing you haven't got-a medal!" The Wizard reached into his black bag again and pulled out a silver medal shaped like fancy-looking cross.

"Therefore," He announced. "for meritorious conduct, extraordinary valor, and conspicuous bravery against Wicked Witches, I hereby award you with the Triple Cross. You are now a member of the Legion of Courage!"

The Wizard clipped the pin onto Lion's chest and firmly shook his paw. Lion stood there shocked for a moment, then put on a modest pose.

"Aw, shucks, folks, I'm speechless!" He said. I laughed a little.

"As for you, my galvanized friend," The Wizard now walked over to Tin Man. "You want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable."

Tin Man thought for a moment. "Well..." He said. "Be that as it may, I still want one."

"Yes, well, um..." The Wizard fumbled a little before continuing. "Back where I come from, we have men who do nothing all day but good deeds! They're called filly-filler...fillam..."

"Philanthropists!" Scarecrow jumped in. I gave him a thumbs-up and mouthed, "Nice one."

But the Wizard either didn't hear him or was too embarrassed to admit he hadn't known.

"Good-deed-doers!" He said instead. I rolled my eyes.

"And their hearts are no bigger than yours!" He went on. "But they do have one thing you haven't got-a testimonial!"

The Wizard pulled out a heart-shaped clock on a chain. I was starting to wonder why he had these random things lying around.

"Therefore, in consideration of your kindness, it is my pleasure at this time to present to you a small token of our esteem and affection." He placed the clock around Tin Man's neck, then continued. "And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others."

Tin Man smiled, then put the clock to his ear. "It ticks!" He exclaimed in joy. He went up to all of us and held the clock to our ears. "Listen to my heart, it ticks!"

"Read what my medal says!" Said Lion eagerly.

" 'Awarded for Courage' " I read out loud.

"Ain't it the truth, ain't it the truth?" Lion said proudly.

I laughed. "They're all great. You guys should be proud of yourselves."

"Hey!" Scarecrow suddenly turned to the Wizard. "What about Dorothy?"

"Yeah, Dorothy!" Tin Man agreed.

"Dorothy next!" Lion nodded.

"Yes, Dorothy...I, um..." The Wizard muttered.

"Don't suppose you've got a jet plane in that little black bag?" I joked, but really, I was crushed. Of course he couldn't get me home-he wasn't really a wizard, after all.

"My dear, you've forced me into a cataclysmic decision," The Wizard stated. "The only way for Dorothy to get back to Kansas, is for me to take her there myself!"

I stood in shock for a moment. "What? You will?" I stopped. "How are you going to do that, again?"

"Child, you've cut me to the quick! I'm an old Kansas man myself!"

"Really? No way!" God, what are the odds?

"Oh, indeed way! Born and bred in the heart of the western wilderness, premier balloonist par excellance to the Miracle Wonderline carnival company, until one day, while performing spectacular feats of stratospheric skill never before attempted by civilized man, an unfortunate phenomena occurred. My balloon failed to return to the fair!"

"Whoa! Weren't you scared?" Stuck up in a hot air balloon? I knew I would be.

"Scared?" He laughed. "Why, you're talking to a man who has laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe! I was petrified!"

I chuckled, and he continued.

"Then suddenly, the wind changed, and I floated down into the heart of this noble city, where I was named Oz, the first Wizard de Luxe! Well, times being what they were, I took the job, retaining my balloon in the advent of a quick getaway."

"Nice," I commented.

"And in that balloon, my dear Dorothy, we shall both return to the land of E pluribus unum!"

"Suh-weet!" I pumped my fist. I was finally, for real this time, going home!

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**Well, there ya go! Two more chapters, ladies and germs!**

**Holy crap, I might actually finish this story… :0 Never thought I'd see the day.**

**Reviewing would be most pleasant. *nods***


	20. Goodbye

**Only this chapter, then the next, and this story's DONE! Holy lemurs on unicycles…Anyway, I changed the way the slippers are activated, as it were, in this, because I know this version of Dorothy would've gone all MadTV Wizard of Oz ending if I'd just used the explanation from the movie. If you don't get it, I'll explain at the end of this chapter.**

**Anyway, reviewer response stuff!**

**GothicWolfGirl652: No problem ;) And "Freddy" couldn't stop me since I don't know who he is. Therefore, he doesn't exist to me and can do me no harm. Mindfuck? Possibly. Don't worry, child, you shall have your answers. Happy to see the zombie demographic is approving, although apparently only able to use my own words to describe it…but I am flattered nonetheless!**

**Babygirl555: Ha yeah Wizard got pwned. Glad to hear you loved it! Yes, too true, nothing lasts forever in this world. All you can do is enjoy it while it lasts. That was my Prophetic Moment of the Day. XD Well, she has changed, though-she trusts people more. Before, she thought-you know what, I'm gonna shut up and let her explain it.**

**The second to last chapter. Whoa, man.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Doe's P.O.V.**  
**

The four of us stood on a platform next to the balloon, which the Wizard was inside of.

The town was playing marching band music in celebration.

"Good people of Oz!" The Wizard announced, and the music stopped. "I, your Wizard, par adua ad alta, am about to embark upon a hazardous and technically unexplainable journey into the outer stratosphere. I will there conver, converse, and otherwise hob-nob with my brother wizards."

Everyone applauded, even though no one appeared to know what he said. Heck, I barely understood it.

"Thank you," He nodded. "Now, until what time I return (if any), I hereby decree that the Scarecrow will rule in my stead!"

"Wh-what?" Scarecrow asked over the applause.

"By virtue of his highly superior brains," The Wizard put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, you'll be a great king!" I smiled at him.

"But...but...all by myself?" Scarecrow still looked worried.

"I'm getting to that." The Wizard whispered, before returning to his louder voice. "He will be assisted by the Tin Man, by virtue of his pure heart, and the Lion, by virtue of his unshakable courage!"

The townspeople applauded again, and the two guys each put an arm around Scarecrow.

"Don't worry, we'll take care of him," Tin Man assured me.

"You better," I said, only half-joking.

"Now, climb aboard, Dorothy." The Wizard gestured.

"Climb aboard, missy, while the wind's in your favor!" The guard piped up.

I looked down by my feet, but didn't see Brutus.

"Hey, where'd Brutus go?" I asked no one in particular.

I heard a familiar bark, and spotted Brutus a few yards away, growling at a woman's cat.

"Brutus!" I sighed. "Not the time!"

"Don't worry, miss, I'll get him!" The guard hastened towards Brutus.

"Don't let go of that rope!" The Wizard shouted.

I looked to see the rope was undone.

"No!" I lunged for the rope, as did the others. We tried to hold it down long enough to tie it to something, but it just kept going up.

"Can't you stop it?" I yelled frantically up to him.

"I'm sorry, dear, I can't!" He yelled back down.

"Don't leave!" I was desperate now.

"I have no choice!"

With that, the last of my grip on the rope fell, and the balloon started going up into the sky.

"Goodbye, folks!" I could barely make out the Wizard waving.

The townsfolk happily waved back, wishing him luck and a safe journey. When the balloon was out of sight, everyone cleared out.

I just stood there, defeated. "That's it, then." I stated. "I'll never get home."

There was a pause before Lion stepped forward.

"Then...stay with us, Dorothy." He said. "We all love you. We don't want you to leave."

I looked in his eyes, filled with childlike sadness.

I looked in Tin Man's, shiny with a quiet sorrow.

And I looked in Scarecrow's, urging me to stay.

I had to hold back a sob. "You guys are the best, but...I have to get home. I'm so worried about Kirk...what if he did something stupid?"

I turned desperately to Scarecrow. "What am I going to do?"

He looked lost for a moment. Suddenly, though, he spotted something. "Look," He pointed. "There's someone who can help you."

I looked in the direction of his finger, and saw a pink bubble getting closer and closer.

I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be happy to see that pink bubble.

Glinda appeared before too long and glided towards us.

I ran over to her. "Glinda! Can you help me?"

"You don't need to be helped any longer, dear." She said as calmly as ever. "You now have the power to go back to Kansas."

"I-what? I do?" I asked, confused.

"You have learned here what you needed to learn." She nodded.

"Again, what?" I put my hands on my hips.

"You came to Oz for a reason, dear," She explained. "Not only did you improve the lives of many..."

She indicated the town, as well as the guys, who nodded.

"But you learned something important here as well." She continued.

"What did you learn, Dorothy?" Tin Man asked.

"I have no idea!" I sputtered, looking to Glinda. "Mind telling me?"

"I don't have to," She said in that serene tone that made me want to punch her. "You already know."

"What if I don't?" I countered.

"I'll give you a hint," She giggled. She pointed her wand towards the guys.

I learned something about my friends? What could I have-?

Wait.

Friends.

"Well..." I started, still unsure. "I guess...I learned not to isolate myself. I learned that not everyone in the world is out to get me."

I smiled at the three. "And I learned that all I have to do is offer a hand to someone in need. Because maybe most people _are_ jerks...but the ones that aren't? They may turn out to be the best friends anyone could ever ask for."

The guys looked at each other, smiling and shaking each other's shoulders in that way guys do with their friends. They looked back at me, beaming.

I turned to Glinda then. "Uh...is that right?"

She smiled. "You're right. That's all it is."

"But that's so easy!" Scarecrow whined. "I should have thought of it before!"

"I should have felt it in my heart!" Tin Man added.

"Me too, if I only had the courage in my convictions," Lion drooped.

Glinda laughed. "No, she had to think of it for herself." She addressed me now. "And because you've done what needs to be done, and you've learned what you needed to learn, those slippers will take you home in two seconds."

I looked down at the shoes. Well, finally, they were good for something!

"Brutus, too?" I smiled, picking him up.

"Brutus, too," She nodded.

I looked back at my friends. It suddenly hit me that I would probably never see any of them again.

"Can...I say goodbye first?" I asked Glinda without looking at her.

"Of course. Take as much time as you need." She said.

I slowly walked back up the stairs to the platform.

I clenched my fists, taking a deep breath.

"Well, it's been a ride, hasn't it, boys?" This was meant to sound jokey, but my voice breaking kinda ruined that. Nevertheless, the boys laughed, albeit half-heartedly.

Tin Man was first. "Goodbye, Tin Man."

I looked up at him to see he was crying.

"Oh, Tin Man, don't! You'll rust, you know that!"

I felt Brutus paw my foot, and looked down to see him holding the oilcan in his mouth. He dropped it at my feet.

I picked it up. "Here's your oilcan." I handed it to him.

He took it and sniffed once. "Now I know I have a heart...'cause it's breaking." He said quietly.

"Oh, Tin Man!" I said sympathetically. "You're gonna make me cry!"

I gave him a hug, which he returned.

I gave him one last watery smile before moving on to Lion.

"Goodbye, Lion." I suddenly laughed. "Y'know, I know it's not right, but I'm gonna miss that funny face you used to make when you'd whimper, before you found your courage."

"I think...when you're gone...I'm gonna do a little more whimperin'!" He sobbed.

"Oh, Lion! Here, come here." I gave him a hug, patting his back as he cried. I wiped my own tears as well.

After he'd composed himself (to an extent) I made my way over to Scarecrow.

I just looked at him for a minute.

What could I possibly say that summed up everything I wanted to say to him?

Scarecrow was my first friend in a while. He didn't see me as weird or intimidating-he just saw me as an equal. He was the first to accept the fact that I had baggage, and it didn't make me any different to him. He was always encouraging me, telling me we were gonna make it. And he was right.

Now a part of me wishes he wasn't.

And that same part told me...I'd miss him most of all.

I suddenly couldn't take it. I just grabbed Scarecrow and clutched him, shaking with silent sobs.

He held me gently, rubbing my back in an effort to soothe me.

When I finally calmed down, I quickly brushed the tears away with the back of my hand and stepped away from Scarecrow. I smiled as best I could, and he smiled back sadly, his eyes shining.

"You boys take care of yourselves, understand?" I said firmly.

"Yes, ma'am!" They all chorused. I laughed in spite of the mood.

I picked up Brutus. "Say goodbye, Bru." I grabbed his paw and made him shake it goodbye at the boys, who half-heartedly waved back. Brutus whimpered quietly-he was sad to go, too.

I finally turned to Glinda.

"Are you ready now, dear?" She asked sweetly.

"Yes." I said. I wanted to tell her to hurry, before I could change my mind.

"Then close your eyes," She instructed. "Tap your heels together three times, and tell the slippers where you want to go."

I gave her a skeptical look, but she just smiled at me. I shrugged-I'd definitely seen weirder things here.

And I'd never see them again.

Before I could think about it anymore, I closed my eyes and tapped my heels three times.

"Take me home to my brother, Kirk Gale." I said quickly.

I felt myself suddenly start to spin very fast and soar high into the air-hopefully, towards home.

* * *

Scarecrow's P.O.V.

We watched Dorothy fly into the air, spinning so fast she was a blur.

I sighed sadly.

"Don't be so sad, Scarecrow," Glinda said. "Fate works in mysterious ways."

"Huh?" I looked at her.

But Glinda had already become a bubble again and floated off.

"I'm gonna miss her..." Said Lion, looking at the spot Dorothy was previously standing.

"We all will." Said Tin Man, putting a comforting hand on Lion's shoulder. "But she'll

never forget us, and we'll certainly never forget her. And we've still got each other, right?" Tin Man held up his hand for a high five. "Friends till the end!"

"Yeah!" Lion smiled, eagerly returning the high-five.

"Since when are _we_ friends?" I asked, pointing to Tin Man and myself.

"Oh come on, Straws, don't even pretend like we're not friends!" Tin Man smiled, shoving me a little.

"Who you calling Straws, Metal Mouth?" I punched him in the arm, causing a loud clanging sound. We all laughed.

"Hey, fellas!" Lion said suddenly. "Shouldn't we be getting back to the palace?"

"Oh, yeah!" Tin Man smirked at me. "I forgot, you're King Straws now."

"Yeah, that's right, so you better watch it or I'll throw you in the dungeon." I pointed a kingly finger down at him.

He pushed it away. "Yeah, that's a great way to start your career as king-throw someone in the dungeon because they called you a name."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes. "Can we just go?"

"After you, Your Majesty." Tin Man bowed low in a mocking way.

"Hey, you're my assistants, you're coming too!" I dragged the other two by their arms.

"I'm a royal assistant AND King of the Forest! I'm the cat's meow!" Lion said excitedly.

We laughed, hooked arms, and made our way towards the palace.

And somehow, I knew everything was going to be okay.

* * *

**So didja get it? It only activated AFTER she learned her lesson and did everything she needed to, whereas in the movie she always had the power. I always thought that was crap, so since **_**I'm**_** writing it now, I'm changing it!**

**Next chapter's the last one…Holy shnikees.**

**Review, yes!**


	21. Home

**Wassup, peeps?**

**So anyway OH MY GOD WE'RE AT THE LAST CHAPTER. I never thought I'd make it this far…**

**Well, let's get on with reviewer response, shall we?**

**Babygirl555: Yeah, I put the comic relief bit at the end simply for that purpose. :) Get that tissue ready, cause man is this chapter mushy!**

**JaredMilne1982: Hey, don't worry about it-sometimes LIFE gets in the way. Well, Doe has calmed down some, but also, she doesn't beat up old guys. C'mon-she's got standards. XD Yeah, I tried writing it like the original ending, but the only outcome that worked was Doe beating the living cap out of Glinda (what was that about her calming down?). Hear hear!**

**GothicWolfGirl652: Glad you approved of the length and the activation! ^_^ Yeah, at this point, there isn't much else…*shifty eyes***

**Enjoy the last chapter!**

**

* * *

**Doe's P.O.V.**  
**

I could only cling to Brutus as we spun and soared-there wasn't much else I could do. I didn't even know which way was up anymore. The thought crossed my mind that Glinda was wrong, or that the Witch had put some kind of evil spell on the shoes before she died.

How would I even land in the right place? I hadn't said Kansas, and there could be a million Kirk Gales out there!

Suddenly, I stopped spinning and began falling, down and down and down.

My eyes were still spinning from before, and I couldn't see anything-I had no way of knowing where I was or what I was about to land on, but the odds weren't in my favor. I shut my eyes tight, bracing myself for the worst.

I landed on something cushy and springy.

Confused, I opened my eyes to find myself on a mattress, being held up by four moving men. They were staring at me, dumbfounded, and with good reason-I had just fallen out of the sky, after all, and I was still wearing my dress from the Emerald City.

Feeling awkward, I cleared my throat. "Uh, thank you, gentlemen." I jumped off the mattress. "As you were."

As I jumped down, I noticed that the previously-ruby slippers had now turned silver. I guessed that meant I couldn't use them for transportation anymore.

Not that I wanted to-that wasn't exactly one of the most pleasant experiences of my life.

Brutus was barking over my shoulder, and I turned.

Right there in front of me was my apartment building.

"We made it..." I whispered to myself, then turned to Brutus. "We made it, Bru! We're home!"

He barked happily, wagging his tail.

"C'mon!"

We both sprinted across the street. I burst into the building, nearly breaking the double door, and the two of us launched up the stairs.

Finally, we reached the door of our apartment.

Shaking out of nerves and happiness, I knocked on the door.

I heard Kirk's familiar stomp on the other side of the door.

"You bastards better be bringing me some good fuckin' news, 'cause I swear to God-!"

He cut off when he saw me at the door. He looked like he hadn't shaved in a while, and his shirt and pants were dirty. His eyes were bloodshot.

I suddenly wondered if all that was my fault.

I was unbelievably happy to see him, though.

"Kirk! I was so scared, I thought I'd never see you agai-"

**WHAP!**

He had slapped me right across the face. I held my burning cheek, biting back the profanities. "Kirk!" I yelled. "What the hell was that?"

"**AND WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?**" He yelled, dragging me into the apartment. "**WHAT THE FUCK'S WITH THE DRESS?**"

"Kirk, hold on-!"

"**DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FUCKING LONG WE WERE LOOKING FOR YOU?**"

He was pissed. The only time he used the 'F' word that many times was when he was seriously pissed.

"Kirk, listen-"

"The police tore the state apart looking for you!" He wasn't as loud, but he was still yelling. "They even looked in fuckin' Nebraska, you were nowhere!"

"Kirk-"

"You couldn'tve called or anything?"

He slammed his hands down on the table,looking at it, rather than me. "I haven't slept, dammit! I quit the mechanic gig cause they wouldn't let me off to look for you! Every night I'd go everywhere I could think of and just call your name-you're telling me you never heard me once? Jesus Christ, you could've been dead for all I knew!"

I was shocked. '_So that wasn't an illusion the Witch just made up,_' I thought. '_He really was worried about me._' I felt incredibly guilty.

"Kirk..." I bit my lip to stop it quivering. "I'm so sorry-"

"Y'know what, forget it! Just get your dumb ass the fuck over here!"

And the next thing I knew, Kirk had pulled me into a huge bear hug.

After a momentary shock, I hugged him back just as fiercely. "I missed you, Kirk. I worried about you every day I was gone."

"Yeah, yeah, okay," He said as we pulled away. "We're done with the mushy stuff. As long as you don't EVER pull that again." But he was smiling.

"Promise," I nodded.

He knelt down to Brutus. "You took care of her, right?"

Brutus yipped indignantly, as if to say, "Of course I did!"

"Good man." Kirk ruffled the fur on top of Brutus' head. He stood back up.

"So, Dodo," He started, and I never thought that dumb nickname would make me so happy. "You never did answer my first two questions."

"What were they again? I just remember you nearly blowing my eardrums out." I replied.

"Where were you, and what's with the dress?" He repeated.

I considered if I should tell him or not for a moment. On one hand, he probably wouldn't believe me. But on the other hand, what else could I tell him?

I looked to Brutus for advice. He nodded.

I sighed. "Okay, I'll tell you. But two promises first."

He looked weirded out, but said, "Okay..."

"One, this story doesn't leave this room." I started. "And two-this is the most important one-you have to believe everything I'm about to tell you. Because it all really did happen-I didn't just bump my head or something. So no matter how ridiculous this story gets-and believe me, it gets pretty ridiculous-you have to believe it."

He considered this for a moment. "Well, you never were good at making up stories. Alright, I promise. To both of 'em."

I smiled. "You might want to sit down-this might take a while."

"Time's one thing I've got plenty of," He assured me as he slumped onto the couch.

Brutus hopped up beside him. I sat on the easy chair across from the two.

"Shoot." He said, urging me on.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Alright, here goes..."

And the story just flowed out of me.

As I told it, I looked at Kirk, relaxed yet listening intently, at Brutus, sleeping next to Kirk, and at our little, rundown apartment.

It sure as hell wasn't bright and colorful Oz...

'_But this is my home,_' I thought with a smile as I continued to tell the story of my amazing adventure.

* * *

**So that's the end of this story!**

**BUT WAIT! I still have one more little trick up my sleevy-sleeve, yes I do! *giggles uncontrollably* If you all would please follow me…**

…**..By "follow me" I mean hit the "Next" button.**

**Go ahead.**

**Click it.**


	22. IMOPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

**There ya go. Welcome, reader! Please, sit.**

**(You sit down on super extendable couch with the other readers, who look just as confused as you. I step up to the podium)**

**Okay. *continues giggling* First off, I'm not going crazy. Well, any crazier than I was. But I do have a verrrrry exciting, verrrrry important announcement.**

**Are you ready?**

**(Readers nod)**

**I can't hear you!**

**Readers: Yeah!**

**I SAID ARE YOU READY?**

**Readers: YEAH!**

**I SAID ARE YOU-**

**Readers: Oh, get on with it!**

**Yes, yes, quite right. Sorry, got carried away. *clears throat, then steeples fingers* Well…**

**(Readers lean forward)**

**There…**

**(Readers lean forward more)**

**Is…**

**(Readers are almost falling off the couch in anticipation)**

…**.**

**Readers: WOULD YOU GET ON WITH IT, WOMAN?**

…

…

…

_**THERE'S GONNA BE A SEQUEL, Y'ALL!**_

**(Dixieland band comes marching through tossing confetti as Caramelldansen plays and everyone dances and cheers joyfully)**

**

* * *

****It's not gonna suck, I promise. But it is gonna be an original plotline by moi. Oh yeah, it's gonna be crazy. I have to work on my other stories for a while, since this took over my writing life, so don't expect it up, like, tomorrow. But it will be up.**

**I hope you're not all completely against a sequel, because it's not going to ruin the essence of the story. In fact, from what I've written of it-**

**Oh, yeah, forgot to mention I've had this planned since…I don't know what chapter, but real early on in the story. So-I'm so sorry-but I always had myself a little chuckle when people said they would be sad to see it end, cause obviously, it's not over yet.**

**Anyway, from what I've written of it, ****I**** think it's better than this one. But that's for you readers to judge.**

**So, that's that! See you all in the sequel! :D**


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